What you wanted
by TheOneTrueBear
Summary: Post Chosen - A now retierd buffy is called upon to save the world when a charismatic vampire raises an army. But Spike is back and things are going to get worse before they get better. BS COMPLETE
1. A perfect life

A perfect life  
  
Years had passed. How many? 10, no not nearly that long, maybe 4, no, if she was 27 now and she had been, how old then? Older it felt. Yes she was definitely older then. She'd had responsibilities then, people relied on her followed her even. Yes she must have been older then.  
  
"Hi Sis!" Dawn's cheerful voice sounded on the peripherals of Buffy's awareness, pulling her slowly from her musings.  
  
"Hi Dawnie, good day?"  
  
Dawn sighed inwardly as she saw her sister retreat behind her patented too bright smile. It had been this way since, well since they drove away from the remains of Sunnydale. Buffy had smiled that smile so often Dawn was sure her face must hurt by now. So that was Buffy at 28, bright smiles, friendly banter, reasonable job, she had finally graduated from college and got a job as what she called a 'proper' guidance councilor, it seemed her time at Sunnydale High had given her a taste for it. Nice boyfriend too, no, Dawn corrected herself, nice fiancée. Putting her baby sister through college, keeping up with her friends, doing the shopping and cleaning the house. To sum it up, Buffy was living a normal life, and doing it all with a huge smile plastered over her face. Over her face not on it Dawn thought ruefully, just a facade like the expensive make up her sister used when she accompanied Richard to one of his law firms many social events.  
  
"Buffy to Dawn, come in Dawn" Buffy's cheesy joke snapped Dawn out of her revere.  
  
"Sorry Buff, yeah college was ok, got through a whole day without being given anymore assignments, can't be bad"  
  
"No" her sister agreed with just a hint of something indefinable in her voice "can't be bad"  
  
....  
  
"Willow?" Dawn asked when she met the redhead later that evening for coffee  
  
"Yes"  
  
"How do you think Buffy is doing?" Dawns question seemed to surprise the witch  
  
"Um, well okay I guess, you know she has everything she ever wanted, with not being the slayer anymore and all. And Richard is perfect and her job is great, so um, she must be doing great!" Dawn had to smile, so rarely now did this assured and successful woman babble. The smile fell from Dawns face as she considered this, Willow only babbled if she was either, nervous, lying or trying to convince herself of something she knew to be false  
  
"I agree" she replied wryly "Buffy is far from great, I don't know why but something is really wrong with her"  
  
"Dawn I said" Willow trailed off at and the younger girl 's knowing look "You're right, but I don't understand it, she has everything now, everything she always wanted"  
  
"Maybe it turns out what she always wanted, wasn't what she wanted at all, or maybe just didn't match up to the dream"  
  
The redhead bit her lip, and Dawn was again reminded of a younger less confident Willow, a Sunnydale willow  
  
"Do you think we should talk to her?"  
  
"Maybe, I don't know, she's got the whole 'so happy with my life' act down so well, she may even be fooling herself.  
  
....  
  
"Willow. Hi, what are you doing here?" Buffy looked up from the mindless reality show she had been attempting to watch  
  
"Hey can your oldest friend not drop by unannounced for a coffee, without it being some big worried intervention deal" Willow cursed inwardly 'smooth Willow, well done!'  
  
"Now your scaring me" Buffy looked suspiciously at her friend "what's up?"  
  
"Sorry Buffy, its just Dawn and I we're worried about you" The confession came unbidden to her lips "and I just wanted to talk a bit you know, so we can stop. Worrying that is"  
  
"What makes you think anything is wrong with me?" Buffy questioned, but she didn't seem too surprised "I'm fine, have you not seen my life lately, I have everything I ever wanted"  
  
"Well you just seem a bit, I don't know, over happy, Like maybe your not as happy as you look, 'cos no one is ever that happy all the time?"  
  
"Well I am" Buffy stated, bright smile in place like a shield "hey do you want a coffee, I want to hear all about your new girlfriend anyway, when do we get to meet her?" Willow sighed, conversation over. 


	2. A rising force

England  
  
"Bad news I'm afraid" John Weston looked down at his files as he spoke as if afraid to meet the older watchers eyes.  
  
"Both girls are dead?" It wasn't really a question Adrian had turned away with a tired sigh before Weston's nod had confirmed his statement  
  
"Rupert" he addressed the third person in his office "You see now how desperate the situation is becoming 30 girls dead in the field in half as many weeks, another 40 lost in the attack on our Surry training facility"  
  
"Yes Adrian, I see that, but what you are asking me is impossible, Buffy Summers is retired, this is no longer her battle"  
  
"No Mr. Giles, this is her battle. She is after all still a slayer, the slayer, the source of these girls power, who else can we call upon if not her?" Adrian was suddenly animated, energy flowing in his aging body as he spoke "Something terrible is coming Rupert, and while our slayers have been able to keep the forces of darkness in check thus far, not a one of them is capable of facing what is to come, for that we will need the power of a true slayer"  
  
"Faith is still alive," Giles argued, trying desperately to keep this responsibility from once again falling on his surrogate daughter's small shoulders.  
  
"As you well know Rupert, while Faith is doing an excellent job leading the slayers in Cleveland she has not been tested at this level. Miss Summers has experience, strength and has proved her resourcefulness on countless occasions. The fate of the world hangs in the balance Rupert, there is no other way"  
  
Giles removed his glasses and sighed deeply "Very well, when do I leave"  
  
...  
  
"Hello Ang..." Angel's greeting was cut of by an urgent British voice  
  
"Angel, its me Giles. I need to speak with you, and I fear we may need you"  
  
...  
  
"Just 61 days to go" Richard smiled at his fiancée as they walked together toward her home.  
  
"Huh" Buffy tried to catch up mentally with what he'd been talking about  
  
"Till the wedding" He raised his eyebrows, 'where do you go to Buffy?' he thought ruefully 'where do you go?'  
  
"Ah the wedding, 60 days actually it's just gone midnight" she gave him a saccharine smile and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him.  
  
'Why are my boyfriends all so tall?' she asked herself 'you think a midget like me would try and find someone a little shorter'. Suddenly she was overcome with memories of just such a lover. One who she didn't have to strain to kiss one who's slight frame had complemented her own diminutive size during their lovemaking, yes she could call it that now, finally. One who like herself had held deceptive power in his lean body who's strength had almost matched her own, one who had challenged her and...  
  
'God pull yourself together Buffy' she mentally chided herself 'You are living a normal life now like you always wanted, he died so you could have this' She let her lips linger over Richards for a few moments, trying hard not to remember cooler lips, rougher kisses, that time was past now, she had to get on with her life, like he had told her to.  
  
"Night night" she whispered moving away from him. She never let the kisses they shared become to heated, they had decided to wait until they where married, and it was easier on him if they didn't go to far, 'easier on both of us' she corrected herself halfheartedly, knowing she felt none of the urgency that she felt in him during those times when they had pushed the boundaries of their self imposed celibacy.  
  
"Night, I'll see you tomorrow, we need to choose the flowers"  
  
"Right, I'll see you there, don't be late" with that she disappeared  
  
"I wont," he told the empty street "I never am"  
  
...  
  
Dawn woke with a strange sense of dread hanging over her she frowned and slipped out of her bed. Leaving her room she turned down the hall, suddenly feeling compelled to check on her sister.  
  
Buffy opened the closet quietly, an almost guilty feeling settling in the pit of her stomach. There, there right at the back, in a groceries bag, just behind an old pair of boots she hadn't worn in months, or was it years, time seemed to move strangely since, since Sunnydale. She reached in for the pulling the object from its brown paper prison; she felt the familiar coolness of the worn leather beneath her fingers and a frown settled on her delicate features. Rocking back to sit on her heels she held the old coat in her lap and let the memories come  
  
He had given it to her the night before the final battle with the First, saying it had belonged to a Slayer once, and should belong to a slayer again, had he known he would be dust within 48 hours? They had lain awake for hours that night, just holding one another, she remembered that she had been scared but couldn't recreate the feeling in her mind now, now all she remembered was the feeling of his arms around her offering her so many things, support, friendship, strength and most of all love, he had had a way of pouring love into everything he did, into every caress, and comforting word, into every verbal battle, every punch and kick, every look. It was those looks she remembered most often, blue eyes filled with emotion, passion or anger, love or hate, he had been an open book to her and she to him long before they where lovers. Mindlessly she brought the garment to her face and inhaled deeply.  
  
"Earth and cigarettes" Buffy started violently at the sound of her sister's mournful voice. Looking up she saw the affectionate sadness in her sisters eyes, and recognised it as the look of those who had finished grieving, those for whom the memories and loss was no longer raw and painful, just a little sad. Buffy swallowed hard and tried to emulate her sisters look, it shouldn't be that hard, after all she was sure she wore exactly that expression on those achingly bitter-sweet moments when she and her sister would laugh at memories of happy times spent with their mother.  
  
Dawn watched her sisters struggling to find a suitable facial expression 'Haven't got this one down as well as the smile hey sis' she thought sadly  
  
"Buffy" Dawns voice was soft and her eyes tried to convey everything she wanted to say to her sister. That it was ok, ok to be sad, ok to be less than perfect. It was ok to miss him, to talk about him to wish he where still here.  
  
"Yeah" the slayers voice was barely audible, "the whiskey is hardly noticeable anymore"  
  
Dawn felt her chest constrict at the sound of her sisters tiny heartbroken voice, hoping to change the mood to a more lighthearted reminiscence she forced a smile to her lips  
  
"Yeah well, even Spike couldn't drink enough for the smell to last this long. Although I think he may have tried, you know I think he was drunk more than he was sober"  
  
Buffy didn't return her smile "he was lonely" she offered, pulling the long coat closer to her body, on hand absently stroking the soft leather.  
  
"Huh" Dawn failed to follow her sister down that particular path  
  
"He drank because he was lonely, or sad" the older girl clarified "he was lonely and sad a lot of the time" she paused taking a shaky breath "always because of me"  
  
"No" Dawn shook her head violently at her sister "Not because of you, never because of you. He loved you Buffy, just a moment with you would give him enough happy to last him a week. Anytime you smiled at him or if you where nice to him, he'd be high for days"  
  
"And anytime I was cruel to him, or disregarded him? Do you think those feelings lasted as long?" Buffy's eyes burned with a mixture of regret and self loathing "And believe me those times out numbered the good times a hundred to one"  
  
"Buffy" Dawn voice conveyed sympathy, but she knew Buffy was right she had hurt him, she had caused him pain and loneliness, but what her sister would never see is that given the choice Spike would do everything again just the same for that one night the two of them had shared before the final battle. That he would take all that pain and more just to be the one to hold her when she had needed it the most.  
  
"He didn't believe me Dawn" Just from her voice Dawn knew her sister was crying even though her head was bent forward and her long golden hair obscured her face.  
  
"Didn't believe what?" Dawn kept her voice low, as if afraid that Buffy would close up again if she spoke to loudly. But Buffy was on a roll now, the floodgates had opened and she was finally ready to tell her sister everything.  
  
"The day he" she trailed off unable to say the words, steeling herself she tried again "just before he did it" looking up at Dawns understanding face she saw there was no need to clarify what she meant so she moved on slowly "I told him, finally. Dawn I told him" She looked up at her sister with tear filled eyes  
  
"I told him I loved him" she continued, "told him what he'd be waiting all those years to hear and he didn't believe me"  
  
They were silent then for long minutes before the slayer spoke again "he said it was 'nice of me to say it', he thought I just said it to be kind because he was gonna die, I finally managed to stop being such a coward and tell him before I lost him, and he didn't believe me"  
  
There was another long silence then, while Buffy struggled to find the right words  
  
"I hurt him so much, told him so often that he was nothing, that he was not worthy of my love, 'beneath me' that's what I called him. I beat him down so hard and so often that when I finally admitted how I felt he didn't believe me, how could he after everything I did to him?"  
  
"Buffy he knew you cared, after he got his soul, he knew you cared that you where at least his friend, It meant the world to him"  
  
"His soul" A bitter laugh escaped the blonds lips "He got that soul for me and I offered him friendship" another cold laugh "I should've just staked the poor bastard, it would have been kinder" 


	3. A call to arms

A call to arms  
  
"Angel!" Even in her own ears her voice sounded like that of a guilty child caught with its hand in the cookie jar. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Buffy" despite all the years apart, all the many gallons of dirty water that had flown under the bridge, still his voice held a note of adoring, reverence even, when he said her name. "You have to come back to the house with me, Giles is there, he can explain everything"  
  
"What, Giles? Here? And you, here too! What is this Angel? Because this sounds like trouble to me. Trouble, you know, of the supernatural kind" Buffy eyed him suspiciously, had it always been this way? Had the arrival of Angel always signalled impending danger 'Angel comes with bad new' God she had been young then, so yes she thought, it had always been this way.  
  
"Trouble doesn't begin to cover it Buffy, but Giles needs to explain it to you. We should go back now" he turned as he spoke expecting her to follow.  
  
"What! No way, I am retired!" Anger and just a trace of panic in her voice "Do you understand what that means? It means you call someone else. I don't work there anymore"  
  
"Buffy I'm sorry, I know you have a normal life now, but this is important, and there is no one else to call" he was calm as always, the voice of understanding and reason.  
  
"Not my problem Angel" God she wished he would get angry with her once in a while, the calm was unnerving "I'm not the Slayer anymore"  
  
"Then what are you doing in the cemetery at two am?" Again so calm, not a trace of sarcasm or annoyance in his soft voice, just that ever-present gentleness. She had loved it once she remembered that, it had made her feel safe. But she had been a child then, scared and desperate for a protector. Once more her annoyance gave way to that familiar guilty feeling  
  
"Umm I was out walking, just walking" He looked down at the stake in her hand and she through it aside "don't know why I had that old thing. Some habits dye hard I guess, but just walking that's me, walking girl"  
  
"Buffy?" Oh the worry in his voice, the suffocating pressure of his concern, she had to get away from it now  
  
"Okay back to the house then, come on times a wasting" and with that she was off at a brisk pace, leaving her erstwhile lover scurrying after her  
  
Marcus stepped out onto the stage, the cheers of his followers loud in his ears, signalling for silence he stood before them fang and feral golden eyes flashing, arms outstretched in a terrifying parody of a southern style evangelist  
  
"My Brothers" he began his voice deep and powerful, rich and intoxicating "rejoice for our time is coming. You who have seen the future through my eyes, you who have heard the call of this fellowship rejoice for a brave new world is at hand  
  
"Demon kind has hidden in the shadows for too many millennia, and why? For fear of her, fear of that chosen girl. And yes you do well to fear her, them now, for they are death to all our kind, meet a slayer alone in the night and know your time has come. But we no longer walk alone, for in this fellowship our power is multiplied a thousand fold.  
  
"Before the moon has swelled and shrank again, the war will have begun and the children of darkness will cut a blood red swathe across the land of men." Marcus paused a cruel smile on his face while he basked in the sound of his own name chanted in a hundred different demon tongues, oh yes the time was coming.  
  
Sometime later in his quarters he was approached by his second in command, a Vaith demon named Solomon  
  
"Sire, I have news" the demons gravelled voice filled the room "They are going to her, just as you said they would"  
  
"Of course they are Solomon my friend, where else would they go? She is the power, the source, and it is she that we must conquer to make our plans reality, we know this and so do they"  
  
"Yes sire, but it will not be easy, many great powers have fallen before this girl"  
  
"This I know Solomon, but they had not our strength of unity, we are many bound as one through me, no mere girl, even one as powerful as Buffy Summers stand against us?" He looked thoughtful for moment before giving his horned companion an arrogant smile "Still it would do no harm to weaken her before the battle commences, shake her up a little, hey? What do you say?"  
  
"An excellent idea my lord"  
  
"Very well, send for the Shaman I know just the place to start"  
  
"Giles?" she questioned as she pulled out of his welcoming embrace looking around the room she caught sight of her sister standing quietly with Willow, it was the later who broke the silence.  
  
"I didn't know you still patrolled Buffy" It was a statement, but somehow the witches enquiring eyes demanded explanation  
  
"Not patrolling" God she felt like a kid again trying to hide her obvious guilt "Walking, out enjoying the night air"  
  
"In Spike's duster? With a stake in your pocket?" And thank you Dawn for bringing everyone's attention to the coat  
  
"It's a great walking coat" she gave a forced laugh and slipped the long coat from her small frame, folding it haphazardly and drawing it into her arms, a leather shield between her and their enquiring, oh so concerned faces.  
  
"Buffy, the fact that you are patrolling again is a good thing" Giles began, Buffy frowned okay so not very convincing then, "there is not much time, and I was honestly worried about what shape you would be in. Battle wise" he amended at her offended look  
  
"Battle!" that same note of panicked anger "Do I have to explain this again? I am retired!"  
  
"Buffy, I am sorry" Giles move toward his slayer as he spoke "But the fate of the world hangs in the balance and every other avenue has already been explored, with not inconsiderable failure. There is only you, now let me explain the situation"  
  
"No! Damn it! I am retired!" She didn't want to hear this, she had her picture book life now, she was doing what he had told her, living in this world and she was making a damn fine job of it, they couldn't take it from her now, he could not have died for nothing.  
  
"Buffy, please" Giles' voice implored the slayer to hear him out, and she relented sullenly glaring at him in invitation for him to get the hell on with it.  
  
"Am I missing something? 'cos I'm really not seeing the big here" Buffy was confused to say the least "This Marcus guy is just a vampire, right? Get one of the mini slayers to slay him, that is there job you know"  
  
"Buffy" Angel cut in patience ringing in his voice "Marcus may only be a vampire, and yes a single vampire is no great threat but what Marcus is achieving is a terrible threat, you have to see that"  
  
"What so he's managed to rally his demon chums, some rousing speeches and now they're all gonna work together, its heart warming really, you know people putting aside their differences, commendable in a way" Buffy laughed at her own joke but it quickly died on her lips as she took in the stony looks of her companions.  
  
"When you patrol how many vampire do you face at one time?" She frowned at her watchers question  
  
"I don't know, no more than ten I guess, fifteen if I have Spi..." she trailed off her head falling forward to hide the pain she knew would be written large on her face  
  
"Ten Buffy, and that is a hard fight. Now imagine fighting twenty, thirty, a hundred. No mystical talisman to aid you, just a stake in your hand. And if you kill those hundred, another hundred would come. Imagine an organised army of vampires and demons, united under a single leader" Giles paused while he let that sink in "Marcus can do it, he is doing it already and he must be stopped. The balance of the battle between good and evil is reliant on the fact that the demons hate each other as much as, if not more than, they hate us. How else could a single girl be expected to control them, think about it Buffy!"  
  
The slayer looked up with a contemplative look on her pretty face  
  
"Buffy he has already killed over seventy of the girls, we must stop him Buffy, before his army grows too large, and we must move quickly, word of him is spreading fast in the demon world and they are coming to him in their hundreds" 


	4. A return of friends

A return of friends  
  
"Are you ok?" Dawn's question drew Buffy from her thoughts  
  
"Honestly I don't know, everything's so upside down now" sighing the slayer drew a shaky hand through her ever perfect hair "I mean it's been ten years since I battled the good old forces of darkness, I thought it was finished, you know?"  
  
Dawn frowned, ten years? Not even close to that. But Buffy seemed always confused by the passage of time, as if since the demise of Sunnydale the inexorable ticking of the clock would speed and slow without reason.  
  
Not wanting to upset her sister any more Dawn let the slip pass "You know you won't have to do it alone don't you? Willows ready for the fight, so are Angel and Giles, and Willow talked to Xander, he's already on his way"  
  
Oh that was better, a real smile breaking through her sister's cheerful façade "He's really coming? God, Dawn we've all missed him so much. He's really coming?"  
  
"Yeah he's really coming" Dawn gave her sister an indulgent smile, sometimes Buffy seemed so very young, that Dawn almost felt as if she where the elder. Certainly Buffy appeared as responsible and mature as the next person, working hard, engaged, keeping a good house. But at times the younger girl would wonder if Buffy had actually grown at all since Sunnydale, that she was somehow frozen unable or maybe unwilling to change.  
  
"Guys!" Willows voice sounded from the bottom of the stairs "We're gonna go, try and at least get some sleep. See you tomorrow after work, hopefully Xander'll be here by then too"  
  
"Hang on a sec!" Buffy was up and off to say pleasant goodbyes and smile prettily for her departing audience, having no desire to watch the performance Dawn wandered to her room to get some rest, figures they where all going to need it.  
  
.......  
  
Marcus was growing impatient. He was not by nature an impatient man, he had after all been working for decades to reach this point. But somehow, now that his endeavours neared fruition he found himself always with a growing sense of urgency.  
  
"Solomon!" He bellowed suddenly, startling the group of female vampires that where almost always in his attendance. "Where is the Shaman?"  
  
"Here my lord, one moment."  
  
The Shaman was of inconsequential appearance, a small pale man with sandy hair and grey eyes. He wore an ill fitting suit that had clearly seen better days and carried himself with the air of someone with little hope of ever achieving anything. A clever act thought Marcus, ever appreciative of cunning. He had seen this man wield the devastating force of his magic before, seen with his own eyes how a few muttered words had reduced a charging Fyarl to nothing more than bones and ash.  
  
Marcus smiled a cold satisfied smile. That had been a mere conjuring trick to this man. He could do more, oh so much more, and he would do it now at Marcus' command, because like the others he believed in Marcus, in what he said, in what he would surely achieve.  
  
"You have work for me lord?" a question asked only out of curtsey, no thought or knowledge was hidden to the Shaman's power.  
  
"Yes. You can do it?" not really a question. Understanding flowed palpably between the two of them.  
  
The Shaman smiled a soft appreciative smile, God but Marcus was clever, a gift it was, how he could seek out an exploit his enemy's most secret weakness. And this weakness, of this girl... it would be beautiful to see, the destruction of such a creature, a slayer made weak by the weakness of her own heart, oh yes it would be beautiful to see. ...  
  
Finally the light and noise receded around them, the palpable power of the magic draining away, leaving the air around them dead and devoid of energy. It was done, just as the Shaman said it could be done.  
  
Marcus regarded the occupant of the previously empty cage with something akin to disappointment, he had expected more. Really he had. Someone taller perhaps or broader in the shoulder, perhaps strikingly dark or fair not this lithe, sandy haired, man lying unconscious before them.  
  
"Can you wake him?" Marcus' eyes never strayed for a moment from the prone form.  
  
"Awake" A quite command laced with power  
  
...  
  
"Drinks" Buffy in hostess mode, Dawn almost groaned aloud. "We have tea, coffee, soda, ooh even bear. It's Dawns"  
  
"Tea, I think would be fine." Murmured Giles, cleaning his glasses pensively. 'Do you see it too Giles?' Dawn wondered, 'do you see how she acts?'  
  
"Tea, coming up" she smiled perkily before disappearing into the kitchen.  
  
Giles looked ready to comment on Buffy's behaviour when the group was interrupted by a welcome arrival.  
  
"Xander" twin exclamations from Willow and Dawn as they rushed to embrace their friend. A whirl of blonde hair and pink cotton and the embracing trio were almost taken to the ground by the force of the slayer's enthusiasm.  
  
"Oh Xander, it is so good to see you." She gushed as she held him in an almost painful embrace. "We all missed you so much"  
  
"Good to see you too, been away from my three best girls far too long"  
  
They all smiled in response charming, affectionate Xander, it was true, he had been away far too long.  
  
Dawn tuned out the bubble of excited conversation as she observed her one time crush. It seemed where loss had frozen Buffy in time, it had aged Xander beyond his years. Grey flecks in his deep brown hair and shallow lines on his tanned skin gave him the look of one of Steinbeck's travelling farm hands, especially when coupled with his faded jeans and logger jacket. Not a bad look on him Dawn conceded, he was slimmer than Sunnydale, a little harder, not only in his body, but also in those warm brown eyes, still welcoming and gentle, but tinged with a resigned sadness that spoke of deep loss.  
  
"Wow, I can't believe the gangs all here" Willows excited voice died away abruptly. Her mind automatically bring forth Tara's gentle face, a glance at Xander and Giles told her that they two where remembering lost lovers, surprisingly Angels expression mirrored theirs. Who's loss had brought that look of love, grief and acceptance to his face, she wondered Cordelia perhaps? The four of them shared a moment of silent, affectionate remembrance.  
  
Glancing at Dawn, Willow found her eyes following the younger woman's worried gaze to the Slayers determined expression. Determined, it suddenly struck Willow that, that was the word she could have use to describe Buffy a thousand times since Sunnydale. Determined to do well, at college, to get a good job and a husband. Determined to retire from slaying and life a happy normal life. And now amongst her closest friends determined not to show any sign of grief or pain. Willow wondered if Buffy had grieved at all, had she missed the painful healing of grief, in her determination to live as he had wanted her too.  
  
"Right then" It was the voice of a slayer calling the meeting to order "We all know what's going down. Question is what are we gonna do about it? Time to plan guys times a wasting"  
  
Dawn wanted to hug Buffy at that moment, wanted to yell for joy at the sight of Buffy's hard gaze, at the steel in her voice. There was the slayer, chipping away at the normal girl veneer, forcing herself to the forefront to take command.  
  
'Ah' thought Marcus, with a pleased grin as he observed the now fully awake creature before him 'this is more like it'. The man stood naked and unashamed, his expression, a mixture between annoyance and boredom, showed a creature undaunted by waking a captive. His flinty eyes held a power and arrogance that Marcus approved of and his confident demeanour spoke of a resourceful survivor  
  
"Solomon, send for Beatrice" He commanded without sparing the Vaith a glance. "Beatrice has a gift" he explained to the caged creature "she'll know whether or not we can let you out"  
  
"Piss off" a clipped accented voice  
  
"Now, now William. We're all friends here no need for unpleasantness"  
  
"Friends don't call me William" the man stated his voice eerily calm "nor do they lock me in a bloody cage"  
  
"No of course not, Spike. The measure is only temporary I assure you, for security, you understand?" Marcus amicable tone grated on the others nerves  
  
"Right, great. So where's this bird, I don't fancy spendin' too much time cooped up like a bloody budgie. Got places to be, you know, people to kill" 


	5. A version of the past

A version of the past  
  
'Ah' thought Marcus, with a pleased grin as he observed the now fully awake creature before him 'this is more like it'. The man stood naked and unashamed, his expression, a mixture between annoyance and boredom, showed a creature undaunted by waking a captive. His flinty eyes held a power and arrogance that Marcus approved of and his confident demeanour spoke of a resourceful survivor  
  
"Solomon, send for Beatrice" He commanded without sparing the Vaith a glance. "Beatrice has a gift" he explained to the caged creature "she'll know whether or not we can let you out"  
  
"Piss off" a clipped accented voice  
  
"Now, now William. We're all friends here no need for unpleasantness"  
  
"Friends don't call me William" the man stated his voice eerily calm "nor do they lock me in a bloody cage"  
  
"No of course not, Spike. The measure is only temporary I assure you, for security, you understand?" Marcus amicable tone grated on the others nerves  
  
"Right, great. So where's this bird, I don't fancy spendin' too much time cooped up like a bloody budgie. Got places to be, you know, people to kill"  
  
..........  
  
"So what we got?" Dawn smiled Buffy was back in command, the slayer at the helm. Finally she was seeing something real from her sister, and nothing could spoil that now.  
  
"Umm, hey baby, what's going on?" Richard's confident voice caused every set of eye's to turn on him.  
  
Buffy's eyes widened almost comically in surprise "Oh not much, just a big old get together, reunion, ya know?" She smiled a pretty plastic smile "Me and the old gang"  
  
"Wow, baby that's great, why didn't you tell me? I waited for you, we where supposed to be picking out flowers today." He asked without a hint of irritation.  
  
"Oh my God, Richard I am so sorry, I completely forgot" she replied slapping her forehead "This was all very impromptu, Xander just got back today. Are you terribly cross with me" she pouted a little then batting her eyes at him winningly.  
  
Dawn felt a sudden need to gag, the old Buffy had never used such cheap tricks, well maybe she had but still it was nauseating. "Hi Rich" she greeted perkily and enjoyed watching him prickle at the abbreviation of his name. "Guys this is Rich, Rich this is Angel, Giles and Xander"  
  
Visibly swallowing his irritation with the youngest Summers he smiled his most charming smile "A pleasure. I've heard an awful lot about both Xander and Mr Giles, I'm afraid your name isn't familiar Mr Angel"  
  
"Just Angel" He replied curtly, obviously not taking to the sharp suited lawyer.  
  
"Well, it's a pleasure to meet all of you, I hope you'll all be able to make it to the wedding" His smile became genuine and adoring as he wrapped an arm around Buffy's shoulder.  
  
"Of course they will honey" Buffy tilted her head to smile up at him "Did you go ahead and choose without me?"  
  
"No sweetheart, I rescheduled for tomorrow at two, you'll be able to make it right?"  
  
Giles looked sharply at Buffy, clearly trying to convey that she had no time for this, but she ignored his look "Of course, we could get lunch at that little Italian, before we go"  
  
"Great, I'll pick you up here at twelve" he gave her a kiss and made to leave  
  
"Ok, bye baby" her smile fell away as he exited the house  
  
"Buffy" it was Giles who began to voice the groups concerns "We have a great deal to do if we are going to be ready to take on Marcus and his army, there won't be any time for..."  
  
"No Giles" Buffy's voice was harsh and loud in the tense atmosphere of the Summers living room "I've agreed to do this but I will not let it ruin my life. I've worked hard to get here Giles, sacrificed..." she paused visibly collecting herself "this is not going to spoil anything, everything is going to be perfect."  
  
With that she was gone storming out of the house.  
  
........  
  
"And Dru?" Spikes asked carefully  
  
"I'm sorry" Sincere regret and sympathy filled Marcus' honeyed voice "She... after knocking you out the Slayer burned the church to the ground. Neither of you made it."  
  
Spike took a slow calming breath, he remembered that day well he had Angel, he had the Dulac cross, he had the translation of the ritual that would heal his dark princess, he was so close, and then the Slayer. Damn her to hell! She would pay for this, for killing him, for taking his queen away from him, God, but how she would pay.  
  
"So why'd you bring me back?" the inevitable question  
  
"I have plans, Spike, plans that I would rather not have Buffy Summers meddling in" he leaned forward conspiratorially "I rather assumed that you could deal with that, keep here out of my way, and if you do then maybe my Shaman could... well you understand" sitting back he observed as the vampire swallowed the bait  
  
"Oh I'll keep her out of the way, in the ground! You just make sure your man has enough Juice to get me my girl back, deal?"  
  
"One moment" Marcus smiled coolly before drawing the raven-haired vampire that had been observing their conversation aside. "Beatrice, my love. What do you see?"  
  
She smiled coyly at him looking up through her lashes "His hatred is like a fine wine, I feel quite drunk."  
  
"We can trust him then?"  
  
"Not at all. But he'll find her out. She'll cry then, pretty Slayer tears." Beatrice tilted her head slightly her eyes glazing over "End this life of hers he will, shatter it all to little pieces"  
  
"Perfect. Solomon open the cage, and find our friend something to wear" He cocked and eyebrow in amusement at his own thoughts "He has a lady to impress" ......  
  
"This is nice." Remarked Buffy smiling and adjusting her sunglasses  
  
"Hmmm... Yes I love eating al fresco" Richard agreed contentedly "reminds me of travelling round Europe"  
  
"I know what you mean, Dawn and I spent some time in France and Italy after the earthquake, everything seemed so relaxed out there. Like you had all the time in the world"  
  
"Yeah, but we Americans unfortunately do not. Come on, we better move or we'll be late" he threw a generous payment on the table and offered her his arm.  
  
"Alrighty, show me the flowers"  
  
....  
  
"It really is quite remiss of Buffy you know" Giles griped, "She doesn't seem to have grasped the gravity of the situation at all."  
  
"She's just trying to deal, you know she didn't think she'd have to do this again" As usual Willow was there to defend her best friend. "She just needs a bit of time to readjust that's all"  
  
"Time we may not have Willow" Giles sighed loudly and removed his spectacles  
  
"She seems a bit, I don't know, did anyone she was acting a bit odd?" Dawn smile slightly, trust Xander, perceptive ineloquent Xander to be the one to ask.  
  
"She's been like this for years" she answered aware of the bitterness in her voice "She's a big faker, living her pretend normal life, pretending to like it. With her fake job and her stupid fake fiancée"  
  
"Dawn, that's not..." Willow began  
  
"Ok" Dawn relented "maybe the job isn't a fake but everything else. She's a Slayer and she goes around pretending like she's Mrs Joe Normal. Willow could you give up magic?"  
  
"Well, err, no Dawnie I couldn't. It's part of who I am. I couldn't just turn it off, it would be like asking me to stop being Jewish or being gay."  
  
Dawn smiled at that explanation. "Right" she ploughed on "witchcraft is who you are not what you do. It's the same with Buffy, I think, she can't just stop slaying without the whole thing being a lie. And she's been lying now for so long, I don't think she knows how to stop"  
  
"I'm not sure about that Dawn" it was Angel who questioned Dawns notion "All Buffy ever wanted was a normal life. And why would she pretend, she had the opportunity to carry on being part of the Slayer life with Giles and the new council"  
  
"Because she think she owes it to him"  
  
"To who?" Giles asked genuinely confused  
  
"Oh don't be obtuse Giles!" Dawn's exclamation startled the entire room "Who has everything Buffy's done since she came back from the dead been about?"  
  
"Spike" Angel said the name softly, his voice a mixture of so many emotions it was impossible to pick one out. His mind reeled, was Dawn right, had Spike been the driving force in Buffy's life all this time 'he's in my heart' he remembered her confession before the final battle in Sunnydale. Was her picture perfect life really an epitaph to Spike's sacrifice?  
  
"That's ridiculous Dawn." Willow rejected the idea "She cared about him and she's grateful that he saved the world and all but..."  
  
"He didn't" All eyes turned to Xander  
  
"Yeah he did Xan! Remember, amulet, big fiery death, Sunnydale just a big ole hole in the ground. God you people still won't give him the tiniest bit of credit will you even after everything he did for all of us" Dawn knew that she was directing her own guilt at not having made here peace with Spike into anger at Xander, but it made her so mad, at least she could admit she'd been wrong.  
  
"No Dawn. I mean he didn't die to save the world. Not really his style. He died to save Buffy, and you, and Willow, and though I hate to admit it probably even to save me. But not the world." He paused then and a fond smile graced his lips "He and Anya where pretty similar in the end, they weren't hero's going out to keep the world save for all those faceless innocents, they where just good people trying to protect the people they cared about."  
  
The room fell silent then and Dawn felt tears pricking her eyes, she move toward him and Xander opened his arms wordlessly to welcome her small frame into his strong comforting embrace.  
  
......  
  
Spike left Marcus' lair with only the clothes he stood in and the name of a town, he needed nothing else.  
  
He stole the first decent looking car he found, forcing the terrified driver out with a snarling glimpse of his demon face. He hadn't killed the driver, no particular reason for that, just that she'd been a bit old for his tastes and he'd drunk several bags of A positive while in the comfort of Marcus' cage.  
  
He hadn't liked Marcus, hadn't liked his pretentious lair or his fake sincerity, but it didn't matter, he was back from the great beyond, eleven years after the Slayer had sent him there. He was back and he was out for blood, Slayer blood to be precise, and he was only hours away. 


	6. A little closer

A little closer  
  
Buffy rubbed her eyes and yawned "Please tell me someone has something" she begged, allowing her head to fall forward onto the dusty tome Giles had her reading.  
  
"'Fraid not" Willow replied despondently "All we know is what we knew four hours ago. Marcus, very old, made a name for himself during the Napoleonic wars killing French troops in Spain. Disappeared in the early twenties, not seen again till he reappeared three months ago in Sudan with a Pick 'n' Mix army of Demons."  
  
"But now you think he's here?" Buffy asked Giles.  
  
"Demon informants claim he has come to America yes, but not before his followers made those attacks on the Slayers" Giles sighed, suddenly feeling very old and rather helpless.  
  
"And what are the Slayers doing now?"  
  
"They have formed four tactical groups, Europe, Africa, Australasia and Americas" Giles explained "As many as can be tracked down and as are willing have gathered together into these camps, each camp has between two and three hundred slayers"  
  
"Wow" Buffy looked startled "that's a lot of Slayers, I didn't know you had found so many"  
  
"Yeah we got more Slayers than we know what to do with" Xander commented.  
  
"We?" Buffy frowned at her friend  
  
"Ah yes, Xander has been involved in fieldwork for the council for several years now" It was Giles who came forward with an explanation. "He's very talented at putting new and frightened girls at ease, he's helped more than one that I fear we would otherwise have lost"  
  
"Oh" was all Buffy could think to say, was she really so out of touch with the people and things that had once meant the world to her?  
  
"Ah ha!" Willow exclaimed, her attention riveted on her laptop  
  
There was a long pause while the group waited for an explanation from the red head  
  
"Er, Willow?" Angel prompted  
  
"Oh sorry, I've found something on what Marcus has been up to for the last century" she looked up "He's been canvassing"  
  
"Eh? Like a politician?" Buffy asked giving her friend a doubtful look "I think so, it's not definite, but I've found a number of reports of delegations from various demon clans meeting a mystery someone. Same MO every time eww..." Willow broke off with a disgusted expression on her face.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Oh sorry, there's a ritual, blood sacrifice. There are pictures"  
  
"Ugh! Won't be looking at those. So we got that he's recruiting" Buffy surmised "But we still have no handle on where any of this is going down.  
  
"Again our information is sketchy at best" Giles informed them "But some of our people have been plotting some interesting trends in demon sightings and kill reports. The pattern does suggest a general movement of several demon groups towards north eastern America"  
  
"Cleveland?" Angel asked  
  
"Faith and the others report no extra demon activity in the area. We have considered moving the Americas slayer group to that area to offer support" Giles supplied  
  
"Seems logical" Xander responded, "If bad shits going down, then I'll take any odds it's going down at the USA premier Halloween theme park"  
  
"Gotta agreed with Xan on this one. It's always the hellmouth" Buffy said nodding  
  
"Very well I'll give the order, perhaps it would be best if we based the entire operation there" Giles suggested with faux casualness.  
  
"What!" Buffy was on her feet defiance rippling through her body "You want me to go to Cleveland? Ah ah, no way!"  
  
"It would only be for a short time Buffy" Giles spoke calmly holding up a placating hand "there is no way you can lead the fight from here"  
  
"Again I say, no way!" Buffy's resolve was obvious in the tone of her voice and set of her jaw "I will not leave my job, I will not leave my home and I will not leave my fiancée this close to the wedding. I told you Giles I'm not giving up my life"  
  
.......  
  
Spike cruised into the typical Californian town a little before dawn, he considered trying to fine someone to eat before holding up for the day, the motel clerk had been a tasty looking thing, dark haired and voluptuous, but he decided against it, not wanting to draw the Slayers attention to his presence before he was ready.  
  
He lay back on the cheap motel blankets and puffed thoughtfully on his second to last Marlboro. He thought of his dark princess and her intoxicating madness, letting his mind conjure images of her, feeding, dancing beneath the stars, lying naked and breathless beneath him. He sighed his heart constricting painfully as he pictured her the last time he'd seen her, hanging limply alongside her sire, her glossy black hair falling back to reveal her beautiful face.  
  
Stumping out his cigarette he let himself relive that fateful night. He seemed to remember there being two slayers, but that couldn't be right. There had been Buffy all smart mouthed and feisty, but there had also been another, grim faced and clinical, he'd have to find out what that was all about. Maybe he'd ask Buffy before he killed her.  
  
He stopped himself abruptly, he had just thought of the Slayer as Buffy, twice. Odd. Maybe the trip back from the dead was messing with his head. He stood and stripped gracefully before wandering toward the bathroom. Looking around the brightly lit tiled room he felt a strange sense of unease, almost akin to regret. Something tugged unnervingly at his consciousness as he regarded the pale shower curtain.  
  
Physically shaking himself he turned on the water "Get a grip mate" he muttered before stepping into the scalding spray. .......  
  
"So your friends are still in town?" Richard asked her the next evening as they ate dinner together at the very expensive La Maison "You've been very busy with them these last few days"  
  
"Yeah well you know it's good to catch up, haven't seen Angel and Xander in years." She looked wistful then her hazel eyes unfocused.  
  
Richard drew a deep breath, as good a time as any to try and learn something, anything about Buffy, beyond her taste in food and music. "You never really mentioned them much, I take it you're all friends from back in Sunnydale?" please Buffy, please just share something with me.  
  
He could see her closing up, steel walls slamming up around her, his fortress Buffy. "Not much to tell, the usual you know"  
  
"No sweetie I don't you never told me. Did you all go to high school together you're all about the same age, right?"  
  
"Yeah, right. Ooh shall we get another bottle of Merlot or do you fancy a change?" Bright smile. Conversation over.  
  
Richard sighed, no point pushing, Buffy was as difficult to pin down as an eel when she chose to be. "Whichever you want, have you decided on the menu for the reception yet?"  
  
......  
  
Spike watched her eating out at a fancy restaurant with her obviously wealthy fella. She looked good, she had lost the puppy fat while he'd been dead, but her hair was still long and impossibly shiny cascading over her slim shoulders. He'd never seen a Slayer this old before, wondered if there had ever been one. She must have been even more extraordinary than he gave her credit for to break the twenty-five year barrier.  
  
Again he stopped himself, no it was okay to admire her. She was a Slayer after all and they deserved respect. Comforted he contemplated his next move, he should formulate a plan really, she was obviously not going to be easily beaten. Maybe kidnap the poofy fancy man or stake out her house. All sounded a bit slow though, he wanted his revenge now, wanted her broken and bleeding at his feat. He thought of Drusilla again, he needed to do this right if that prat Marcus was going to bring her back to him.  
  
He waited patiently for them to finished, he'd follow them home see where to go from there.  
  
......  
  
"Wow, what a night" Richard commented softly as he dropped her off at home  
  
"Yeah" she responded in kind, as if anything more than hushed whispers would shatter the perfect tranquillity of the night.  
  
"Night then, will I see you tomorrow?"  
  
"Sorry, I have to work late, going over student files, I'll see you Wednesday ok?"  
  
Richard's brow furrowed, Buffy never had to work late, and the exaggerated casualness with which she said it made an unwelcome current of suspicion run through his mind. Refocusing he saw her already halfway up her path, he sighed dejectedly and pulled away.  
  
Buffy heard the car pull away just as she reached her front porch, she sighed, relieved that she had been able to escape any difficult questions about tomorrow. God it was hard she thought, trying to be a normal girl, it'd been hard enough before and now Giles had re-recruited her into the good fight it was exhausting.  
  
Slumping down on the top step she took a deep calming breath and let her head fall into her hands. It would be fine she reassured herself, once Marcus was despatched she would marry Richard move into his perfect suburban house, cut her working hours to part time and have a son she would name William and a daughter named Joyce.  
  
Another shaky sigh, she couldn't do it, suddenly she felt panicked. She would get it wrong, her son would flunk out and wind up a junky, Richard would leave her for some bimbo secretary, or she'd loose her job, or her house and it would all be for nothing, all this work, all this sacrifice, it would be for nothing. Reaching into her pocket with a trembling hand she found it, smooth and cool between her fingers, slowly she felt her anxiety slipping away replaced by a new wave of resolve. She could do it and she would do it, because it was his gift to her. Smiling wistfully she brought the Zippo up and watched the porch light reflecting off its shiny surface as she turned it over in her hand.  
  
"What ya doin'?"  
  
Startled she guiltily shoved the lighter back in her pocket and turned to her sister "Oh nothing. Just enjoying the night"  
  
Mercifully Dawn didn't call her on the fib, just took a seat next to her and gazed out into the night. Buffy did the same letting Dawns quiet presence sooth her jangling nerves.  
  
.........  
  
He wondered who the girl was. She was younger than Bu... the Slayer, with sleek brown hair, and big soulful eyes somehow his mind called her niblet and he frowned, she was hardly bitesized, much taller than the slayer with long slender legs crossed elegantly and a almost modelesque poise.  
  
He shook his head it didn't matter, he wasn't here for the Slayer's new best friend or her poncy boyfriend. He was here for her, to taste her blood and save his beloved Drusilla.  
  
Suddenly the Slayer looked straight at him, he withdrew deeper into the shadow senses focused for any sign that she had seen him. Of course she hadn't it was far too dark, he remained motionless for several moments until her attention turned to her companion, then he slipped away into the night.  
  
.........  
  
"Buffy what is it?" Dawn asked curiously having been startled by the sudden movement of the Slayers head. She waited a beat, but her sister's attention remained focused on a patch of shadow across the street. "Buffy?"  
  
"What? Oh God sorry Dawn, I just thought I saw someone?"  
  
"Buffy it's pitch black what could you possibly see?"  
  
"Well not see exactly" She paused deciding how best to explain. "Do you ever think you see someone, out of the corner of your eye, someone you couldn't possibly have seen like mom or Anya? But somehow you're so sure you saw them and it leave you feeling all funny?"  
  
"Um Yeah. I guess, everyone does that sometimes" the brunette answered confused.  
  
Buffy smiled at her gently "Well I just had the supernatural equivalent, thought I saw someone out off the corner of my slayer sense"  
  
Dawn nodded her understanding and slipped an arm around her sister's shoulder, offering comfort, there was no need to ask whom Buffy thought she had "seen". 


	7. A Chance encounter

Spike wandered the quite suburban streets, aimlessly a strange disquiet settling over him. He couldn't shake the image of the other girl, so different from Buffy tall and slender, dark and elegant. His type.  
  
They where obviously close, maybe he'd take the girl, break her in the way only a man can break a woman, leave just enough blood in her for her to gasp out her fate to the Slayer. He waited for the rise of lust and blood lust at the notion. Unease settled instead in the pit of his stomach along with a strange undercurrent of revulsion he refused to examine.  
  
He growled. He needed to kill something, get back into the flow of things before going after the Slayer. He had meant to drive to town, find the bitch, kill the bitch, leave. Why was this taking so long? What the hell was wrong with him?  
  
He was pulled suddenly from the musing by a shrill, famine scream, grinning wolfishly he took of after the sound. Rounding an ally corner at full speed he was met by a very familiar scene. The girl, typically Californian and garishly blond was backing away from a group of three burly fledglings, her brightly painted lips moving in a continuous babble of pleas that would undoubtedly fall on deaf ears.  
  
"Well isn't this nice? Got yourselves a tasty enough little morsel, bit plastic for my tastes but she'll do." Spike swaggered towards the group, thumbs shoved in his belt loops, with an unmistakable air of casual authority.  
  
"Yeah and she's ours so you can just walk right away mister" the smallest of the three warned, his natural nervousness of Spike obvious authority overridden by vampiric territoriality.  
  
"Oh, ok, if she's yours." He responded, his tone friendly, hands upraised as if in apology "I'll just toddle off, leave you and Barbie here to, eh, get acquainted." Spikes faux politeness made the spokesman gulp nervously.  
  
"Or" he drew the word out, his voice dropping to a threatening growl "I could rip off your disrespectful heads and have myself a silicon snack." Pausing he shrugged, and continued in his original upbeat tone "You know I can't decide"  
  
With that he was on them. Fledglings generally weren't much fun to kill, but it had been a while, and there were three of them. Laughing manically he dispatched the spokesman just as he had promised ripping his head clean from his shoulders, number two fell to a swift splitter of shattered crate.  
  
"And then there was one" Spike sing-songed as he circled the final vampire "Alright mate, how shall I kill you then?"  
  
The fledgling moved first, knocking the makeshift stake from the smaller vampire's hand as he used his considerable bulk to take both of them to the ground. Pinning Spike beneath him and sneering unpleasantly "How shall I kill you then? Mate" it mocked. Spike grinned up at his opponent and laughed, loud and genuine.  
  
Denise watched the scene play out around her with terrified fascination, she held her breath, afraid to even breathe as her rescuer simultaneously kneed and head butted the last of her attacker, sending him rolling away in pain, before driving a splinter of wood through the monsters heart.  
  
She watched from where she remained huddled in the against the filthy ally wall as the slight man turned toward her brushing unruly brown curls out of his eyes. Gasping in relief she threw herself into his arms "Thank you, oh my god thank you so much" she pulled away full lips forming a self conscious smile at his lack of response. "I, er, thank you, I really thought I was going to die"  
  
The man, who had a moment ago looked like pure salvation, with his handsome face and soft brown hair, suddenly looked like a wolf eyeing a lamb, the bright blue eyes that had been full of mirth and excitement as he had turned to her where now flinty and cold as ice. He grinned an unpleasant, predatory grin "You are" he said simply as his face shifted and changed before her eyes.  
  
..........  
  
Willow sensed danger, the protective shroud of magic around her, hissing and sizzling with warning. Cautiously she followed the feeling to it's source, a filthy ally, what a surprise she thought wryly as she edged slowly towards the figure slumped against the wall obscured by shadow.  
  
"Are you ok?" she asked softly as she approach, although experience told her she would get no answer. "Hello? Are you ok?"  
  
To the witch's surprise a strangled gasp the figure emitted a strangled gasp. Abandoning caution she rushed to the aid of the person she could now see was a young blonde. "Are you hurt? What happened to you?" she asked as she knelt down next to the frightened girl.  
  
Denise didn't answer, she was too afraid to speak, too afraid to move. Her neck burned with pain where that monster had bitten her, and her she felt dizzy and light headed from blood loss. It didn't matter, Willow had seen the lacerations on her delicate throat and was already whispering soft word of gentle healing, letting the white magic that had become part of her since the activation of the Slayers flow to her fingertips and over the girls skin.  
  
"Can you get up?" she questioned gently, bringing the girl to her feet "You need to go home, do you live near here?"  
  
The girl nodded mutely, her eyes wide and wild. Willow smiled reassuringly "Go home" she commanded. "You won't be bothered again tonight"  
  
Despite her fear Denise felt compelled to obey the redhead without question, turning toward home she heard the woman whispering in some strange language, and she felt safe, if only for the walk home she knew she was protected.  
  
........  
  
Spike watched the redhead from the shadows. He had felt her approaching long before she had entered the ally; his demon had squirmed and cowered, urging him to run. Her power radiated off her like white-hot fire, her goodness burned almost as brightly.  
  
He almost gave himself away when he saw her. She had hardly changed in all these years, same bright red hair, and porcelain skin, same slight frame. Red, his mind supplied, well of course she was, with that hair what else could he call her. The Slayers best friend, turned all witch and wielding a power that could not be ignored. And there he had just thought she was a bookworm.  
  
"You should run vampire" her voice was eerily calm in the still night, power pouring through each word like sunlight.  
  
Spike considered it, running, but only for a moment. Not really his style, plus witchy mojo or not, it was still jut the Slayers little pal. He stepped out into the pale streetlight keeping his head bowed.  
  
"Not really the running type, luv" as he spoke he raised his head so that there eyes met, so that there would be no mistake. He knew he looked different without his trademark bleach job and he wanted the witch to know exactly who she was dealing with.  
  
"Spike?" Willows head spun, was it him, no it couldn't be. But it looked like him, soft brown curls aside. But he was dead, Buffy said he had burned up in the hellmouth.  
  
He gave her a rakish grin and spread his arms. "The one an' only"  
  
She gawked at him mouth moving soundlessly a couple of time before she finally managed to speak "Spike. How? What? How? I mean you died, Buffy said you died. She said you burned up. Oh Buffy I need to tell her."  
  
He grinned at her babbling, he hadn't smelled fear on her and was starting to worry. "Is that right? Your little Slayer told you I died, burned to a crisp in that god forsaken place" he shifted his weight and tilted his head to one side. "Well that I did, burned up right where she left me, so you can tell Bitchy the Vampire slayer that her old pal Spike is back and this time she'll be the one coming out of this all dead."  
  
"What?" The redhead looked genuinely perplexed by the threat "Spike what are you talking about?"  
  
"So long Red" He gave another cruel smile "Be seeing ya" and with that he was gone, leaping up onto a fire escape and disappearing into the rooftops.  
  
...........  
  
Willow ran, she ran faster than she had run for years, feet pounding on the pavement, breath coming in harsh gasps. Turning the corner of Buffy's street she came to an abrupt halt. What the hell was she going to do, burst in and yell, "he's alive, Buffy, he's alive".  
  
He had bitten that girl, if Willow hadn't of shown up he probably would've killed her. He had threatened Buffy. Okay that all add up to only one possible conclusion, she thought sadly, Spike has just pulled and Angelus on us.  
  
Maybe it would be best not to tell Buffy right away, maybe tell... who? She wondered, they would try and protect her, take the decision out of the Slayers hand to save her pain. No she would have to tell Buffy, she had a right to know. But then again she had a lot on her plate with Marcus, not to mention the wedding.  
  
As she moved slowly towards the house her brain buzzed with indecision, scenarios of action and consequence running over and over. Looking in she could see Buffy watching television in the lounge with Richard. She was snuggled against eyes riveted to the screen while he watched her profile adoringly.  
  
Willow stepped back, the scene was so normal, so domestic. Buffy's dream life. What if Dawn was wrong, what if it wasn't all an act, she couldn't take this from her friend, not knowing what a normal life had always meant to her.  
  
Decision not made, but deferred she turned on her heel. Only to be stopped by a curious voice. "Willow? What you doin'?"  
  
"Hey Dawnie, nothing, I'm not doing nothing. Just leaving" God would she ever be able to lie like an adult.  
  
"Uh huh. Leaving without coming in?" No one in the world could do scepticism quite as well as Dawn Summers, eyebrows raised, tone condescending. No one that is except the master from whom she had learned the skill, not that that particular someone should be in the world at all.  
  
"Er yeah, was gonna come and say hi, but Buffy and Richard where looking all snugly, so I, er, you know, I was leaving" Dawn didn't need to speak to let Willow know that she was entirely transparent, the tilt of her head spoke volumes for her incredulity.  
  
Looking at the younger Summers Willow was struck by a sudden realisation, dawn was no longer a little girl, she was an intelligent and shrewd young woman. Of all the Scoobies Dawn was the one who knew Buffy's state of mind best of all. She would also put her sisters feelings before all else, while still having enough faith to let Buffy be her own master.  
  
"Dawn, I need to talk to you, we have a problem, and I don't know whether to tell Buffy, she has so much on her mind, and this is so awful for her, I mean last time she had to, and, oh that was bad, and now she's got Richard, and Marcus is..."  
  
"And thank you Willow, queen of the run on sentence" Dawns amusement died as she took in the Wicca's worried frown.  
  
"Okay Willow, from the beginning. Spill!" 


	8. A transfer of power

Buffy frowned as she heard the front door close, where could Dawn be going at this time of night? She made to get up but was stopped by the gentle resistance of Richard's arm around her shoulder.  
  
"Where you going?" he mumbled affectionately pulling her into her chest and nuzzling her silky hair  
  
"I just thought I heard Dawn go outside, I better go check on her." She pulled out of his embrace and stood, straightening her skirt.  
  
"Buffy" His voice was louder than he had intended, calming himself with a deep breath he continued gently. "Baby, she's not a child anymore. Pretty soon you're not even going to be living in the same house, you can't watch her every move."  
  
Even as he spoke he knew he'd made a mistake, Buffy bristled visibly. "What, I can't be concerned about my sister now? About my only family?"  
  
"That's not what I'm saying sweetie" he tried to placate her with his gentle tone. 99% of the time she was so easy to live with, so easy going and eager to please, but disagree with her when it came to the safety of her closest friends and family and she was impossible. "I'm just saying she's a big girl, she wants some fresh air at 11 o'clock at night, well then that's her prerogative"  
  
"Well she could just let me know, she knows how much I worry" Buffy grumbled, but slipped back into his arms, her body tense and rigid against his.  
  
He took a deep breath, before venturing, "Why does it bother you so much? I mean it's not just Dawn it's everyone. It's like you need to know where everyone is all the time. Why do you feel like you have to protect everyone all the time"  
  
She was out of his arms faster then a scalded cat, hackles raised, eyes blazing. Richard could've kicked himself, why did he keep doing this recently, keep pushing her to open up, knowing that she would either get angry or block him out. He looked at her flushed face and despite the sense of trepidation he felt, decided he liked angry much better, at least she was beautiful this way.  
  
Inside Buffy was screaming at him, yelling that she did have to protect, literally everyone all the time. She wanted to tell him to open his eyes and stop pretending that the world was warm and safe, that nothing really goes bump in the night, wanted to let him know that she was the force that stood between the world and the powers of darkness and chaos. It was on the tip of her tongue to say it 'Because I am the Slayer'.  
  
She took a deep breath, if she told him now, came clean about her true nature he would believe she was delusional. Sensible, pragmatic Richard would never believe such a tale, he you think she was a lunatic and he would leave her.  
  
And if he did believe her, then he would leave her anyway. Richard was a good man, and in no way a chauvinist, but inside Buffy knew his ego would not be able to handle a wife who wielded that kind of power.  
  
Swallowing her retort, she fixed a half smile on her face and titled her head to the side, wondering idly if she had always been this good an actor. She moved to the couch and slid in beside him, "I know, I guess I'm just a natural worrier. Sorry." She kissed him gently and snuggled down again, turning her attention to the screen.  
  
She felt him sigh his acceptance of her answer and felt a strange dissatisfaction, a sense of having been cheated. Had he really been fooled? If so he couldn't read her well at all. The right amount of poking, combined with a generous helping of sarcasm, would have had her riled up enough to spill all her secrets. She was almost ready to, to come clean, off load all this pretence, she was almost ready, but Richard didn't push and she didn't tell.  
  
Only one person had ever been able to read her that easily, play her that well. She couldn't suppress a sigh at the thought and she knew her whole body shook with it. Mercifully Richard didn't call her on it, just answered with a soft sigh of his own.  
  
...........  
  
"Are you sure it was him?" Dawn asked. She had let Willow tell her tail uninterrupted, now she had questions.  
  
"Yeah, I mean his hair was way different, all brown and curly, but it was definitely him" She nodded for emphasis "He even said it himself"  
  
"Anyone could say that, an look a like or a shape shifter. Maybe the plan is to make us think he's Spike to gain an advantage" Dawn grimaced. she hadn't come up with anything quite that lame in long time.  
  
Willow gave her suggestion the sceptical look it deserved. "Then you think they'd have got the hair right. Plus he knew about the whole burning to death thing, and you know Buffy only told us about that"  
  
"I know, I'm just finding this kinda hard to get my head round ya know?" She gave the redhead a self-depreciating smile.  
  
Willows answering smile was tender "I know sweetie. I'm struggling with it too, and I was there."  
  
Both girls fell silent while they considered the situation. It was Dawn who finally broke "So, what are we going to do? Buffy is so going to wig"  
  
"Do you think we should tell her?" Willow held up her hand before the younger woman's objection could be heard "I know, she has a right to know and everything. And she'd be majorly pissed if we lie. But he's all evil and killing again, and remember what it did to her before, with Angel"  
  
Dawn studied the redhead's concerned face. Worry was carved in deep lines on her forehead and her sea green eyes bled with compassion for her friend. Was she right? Should they keep this from Buffy? She remembered well, despite not having really been there, how spectacularly Buffy had failed to cope with killing her first love. Was it fair to put her through that again, would she even do it?  
  
Then she thought of Spike, soulless and snarky, real memories this time, of friendship and protection, of unconditional affection, maybe even love. The Angelus affair had been hard on Buffy, but at least it had been simple, Angel good, Angelus very, very bad. Spike redefined the saying 'shades of grey'.  
  
Willow was talking again, Dawn tried to catch what she was saying, something about dealing with it themselves.  
  
"Dealing with it?!" she questioned angrily. "You want to kill him? After everything he's done, you want to 'deal with it'? Like he's some kind of rabid animal"  
  
"Dawn." Willows voice was gentle but firm. "He doesn't have a soul, I could tell that much. And he's killing. He is a rabid animal"  
  
Dawn felt the anger surge through her like a tsunami "An animal" she hissed, rage resonating through the quite words "The same animal that gave himself a headache proving Tara was human, the animal that let a hell god torture him to keep me safe, that animal?"  
  
Willow felt the brunettes pain, felt her aura darken with anger, anger at Willow, for threatening her erstwhile friend, anger at the world for doing this to them, but most of all anger at herself, for all she had failed to do for Spike in that last year in Sunnydale. For the forgiveness she had refused to grant him even as his soulful eyes begged her for it. For the understanding she had withheld even as she understood more than she had wanted to.  
  
"Dawnie" she spoke softly, letting gentle calming magic, flow like camomile through her words. "I don't want to, but he's chosen this. Maybe the chip was affecting him more than we knew back then, making him do good things. I saw him tonight, really saw him and he's..." She sighed trying to explain. "You remember how he was when he came to Sunnydale the first time?"  
  
Dawn nodded, implanted memories of cowering in a cramped storage closest with Cordelia on parent teacher night, of Buffy sneaking out stone faced and armed to the hilt, forming in her mind. Then unbidden and image came to her, a memory she had all but forgotten, the view was from above, through an upstairs window. Her mother worried and angry demanding an explanation from a flustered Buffy and uncomfortable Spike. Her lips quirked as she recalled their bumbling attempt at a cover story, she could almost hear his north London baritone, 'Well I sing'. Their first joint slay, the dusted vampire that would never be able to 'tattle' on their alliance.  
  
"We have to tell Buffy" Her voice brooked no argument, but Willow felt compelled to question  
  
"Are you sure?" Funny now, how she deferred to the younger girl, how this was now most certainly Dawns call.  
  
"Yes. We'll do it tomorrow, before everyone arrives"  
  
................  
  
Marcus smiled, not his usual cold, sardonic smile, but a real genuine, perhaps even happy smile. In as much as a demon can feel, happiness, perhaps it was more satisfaction. It didn't matter, what mattered was the reason behind the smile.  
  
"You're sure?" he asked Solomon "The Apeathans are on their way?"  
  
"Certain master." Solomon gave a slow deliberate nod of his horned head. "They make there way here as we speak. It seems the King's son staged a coup. Renon leads them now, and he brings his army under your banner"  
  
"Excellent, excellent, the old fools resistance had troubled me" he gave a dismissive wave of his hand, turning away from the Vaith "See that all is prepared for their arrival"  
  
"Sire, there is another issue" Solomon ventured hesitantly  
  
Marcus turned slowly back to face his lieutenant "What?"  
  
"There is unrest among those already gathered here. Tension grows between the vampire families and the Vahrall. I fear other's will be drawn in, many Fryal clans are loyal to the Vahrall."  
  
Marcus gave and irritated huff "Very well, give word that I will be addressing the entire force. Go now, and see that I am not disturbed, I must prepare." With that he turned his back on the Vaith and headed towards his private chambers.  
  
"Out! All of you out now" he commanded his vampire harem as he entered. He waited for the room to clear, his handsome latin features set in an expression of grim determination. "Leave that." He barked, pointing to the terrified human girl bound and shivering against the far wall.  
  
He moved quickly across the now empty room, removing his shirt as he did so, he pulled the girl to her feet and ran his eyes over her shaking body. She was young enough, perhaps 13, maybe 14, her body beginning to take on womanhood, but her soul still very much a child's. He looked into her terrified innocent eyes, she would do.  
  
Sweeping the bound girl up into his arms he crossed the room, and punched a sting of numbers into the electronic lock of a heavy metal door. Taking a deep unneeded breath he entered the sealed room.  
  
Where his quarters where modern and comfortable, this room embodied the texture of the old ways, a torch lit shrine to an ancient power. Before him was a low stone alter, and beyond that an ebony statue, a grotesque effigy of a demon deity. He placed the girl gently on the alter, and retrieved a sharp ceremonial knife from it's hanging on the wall to his left.  
  
She tried to scream as he approached her, blade flashing in the flickering torchlight, but gagged and bound as she was, her cries came out as muffled whimpers. She tried to move, to flea but the ropes cut her flesh. Hot tears poured over the soft skin of her rounded cheeks as he used the razor sharp blade to strip her clothes.  
  
Marcus looked at his offering, naked and weeping before him. She was exactly as he like them; untouched and innocent, her breasts small and pert, not yet those of a woman and the hair between her legs soft and fair. He would have liked to have his fun with this one. He would remove the bonds of course so that she would scream and struggle as he took her. He shivered in perverted delight at the thought of tasting lost innocence in her sweet blood, but he would have to wait, find another for his personal amusement, this one had a far higher purpose. ..........  
  
She no longer cried. She no longer flinched at the touch of the knife. Her body was numb, and cold, so very cold. Shallow cuts adorned every inch of her flesh, in the intricate patterns of ancient symbols. The monster kneeling beside her still chanted, strange rhythmic words in a foreign tongue, but she no longer heard him. Her body no longer stung in the chilled air of the temple, but she was cold, so very cold. She wondered if her mother was worried about her, if her annoying elder brother would miss her at all. But she was too cold to worry about anything for long. Her thoughts slowed in time with her heartbeat until both ground to an irrevocable halt.  
  
Marcus ceased chanting as he felt the girl's life slip away, and stood, arms outstretched. Around his neck a jewelled pendent glowed and resonated with power, the matching pendant adorning the statue's neck glowed in response. He smiled and then all there was, was pain, searing hot agony as light poured between the two jewels, power filled him but it gave him no joy, all there was, was pain.  
  
Finally it was over, Marcus struggled to his feet, his chest still burning, but now he felt it, the thrill of power coursing through him. He glanced at the dead girl indifferently, time to clean up after, now he must address his troops.  
  
Reaching the stage he was delayed by Solomon, relaying fears of further unrest and of irreparable damage to the alliance. Marcus brushed him aside and bounded onto the stage, nothing was irreparable, not when Marcus could feel the power rushing through him like a drug.  
  
The crowds hushed as he appeared and he felt them, already, bending to his will. "Brothers" he began raising his arms and calling them to order. He spoke but the words where of little consequence, window dressing for the control he exercised over each of them. 


	9. A different turn

Dawn and Willow exchanged a nervous glance as they approached the Summers' kitchen, inside they could hear Buffy reorganising her date with the wedding caterers for the following Monday.  
  
Stealing themselves they walked in just as Buffy hung up the phone. "Hi guys" she greeted perkily, "Aren't you way early Wills?" she questioned as she busied herself clearing the remains of her sandwich "And I thought you had a date Dawnie?"  
  
The awkward silence and furtive glances the girls shared where not lost on the Slayer. "What's up guys?"  
  
It was Dawn who, with a steadying breath, took up the responsibility. "Buffy, sit down. Willow... we, have to tell you something" As she spoke she guided her bemused sister to one of the high stools that stood at the breakfast bar.  
  
"Willow saved a girl last night from a vamp attack" Dawn faltered, God she knew this was going to be hard, but, how in the hell was she supposed to actually say the words to her sister.  
  
"And?" Buffy prompted "I'm guessing there's more too it than that"  
  
"Yeah" Willow agreed softly. "You see it wasn't just any vamp, I knew him. It was..." It was Willows turn to fail under the weight of this information her eyes dropping to the tiled floor.  
  
"It was? Come on guys you're freaking me out, who was it?" Buffy's impatience was evident in the tenor of her voice, but still neither girl found the courage to answer. Silence hung heavy and suffocating around the three of them. It was Buffy who shattered it with a nervous laugh, "come on guys. Spit it out, how bad can it be?"  
  
"It was Spike" Dawn honestly didn't know how she did it, how she forced those three doom laden words passed her lips. She held her breath and waited for the Slayers reaction.  
  
"No" Buffy replied, simply, her voice unnaturally calm. She rose from her chair and continued tidying the kitchen.  
  
Looking over at Willow, Dawn saw her own confused expression mirrored on the Wicca's delicate features. "Buffy" Willow probed gently "Did you hear her? I saw Spike last night. Here. Hunting in your town"  
  
Buffy didn't break the rhythm of her work or spare the girls a glance as she replied, "I heard you. You're wrong" That same unnerving calm coupled with all the dangerous certainty of denial.  
  
Willow squared her shoulders and pressed on bravely "I'm sorry Buffy. I know this is hard. But it was him. I couldn't be mistaken about this. He even spoke to me. This is real Buffy and its dangerous, he doesn't have a soul, and he's out for blood"  
  
When the Slayer refused to acknowledge her words the witch looked to the younger girl for assistance. Nodding almost imperceptibly Dawn took up the baton.  
  
"Buffy." She spoke softly, her voice sympathetic. "Willow's right, we need to decide what to do about this. If Spike..."  
  
Neither girl saw the slayer turn, neither saw her raise her hand to slam it down on the counter with preternatural speed and strength. Willow gave a startled yelp, and Dawn froze eyes wide, mouth forming a surprised o.  
  
"You. Are. Wrong" Each word was both a denial and a command. Willow could feel the untempered power of the Slayer buzzing in the ether. Dawn saw it burning in her sisters hazel eyes.  
  
The doorbell rang causing both girls to jump slightly. Buffy gave them a hard look, driving the point home. Then she straightened, shook her head slightly, as if clearing it and bounced over to the door, opening it with a cheery "Come on in. I have snacks"  
  
Disbelief hung tangibly in the air between them. Dawn shook her head dejectedly looking at the counter top. Maybe Xander would be able to repair it. "I have to go Wills, I can't be near her when she's like this. I'll call you in the morning we'll have a rethink, 'kay?"  
  
"Okay Dawnie." The shell-shocked redhead replied, as she watched the young brunette exit through the back door. .............  
  
Spike had been watching the house since sunset. He had watched the Slayer potter about doing mundane domestic tasks, nothing very interesting in terms of a spectator sport, and still he had watched her.  
  
A dream had woken him just before, tangled, flashing, images of blond hair and honeyed skin. He had lain still, and tense in the twilight, tangled in cheap polyester sheets. He had clutched at the images, trying to decipher their meaning, but as with all things ethereal they were reticent and had fled. The unease, that had been his constant companion since he entered this god forsaken town, however refused to depart so easily. Even turning his mind to thoughts of Drusilla's impending resurrection had not been able to banish it entirely.  
  
His senses tingled. He felt her unmistakable power signature charging the night air with white magic. The scene played out before him, like one of those silent movies Dru had loved so much, a story told in worried frowns and nervous glances.  
  
The sound of the Slayer destroying her kitchen furniture, reached his ears and he gave an amused chuckle "Taking the news well are we Slayer?" he asked the shadows around him.  
  
That seemed to be an end to the discussion. Buffy retreated into another part of the house, follow shortly after by the witch, while the leggy brunette that had caught his eye earlier came out through the backdoor. Abandoning her usual poise she flopped gracelessly down onto the back step, burying her head in her hands. The action made her look like a coltish adolescent, almost gangly. A sense of familiarity hit him head on head on and he took and involuntary step back.  
  
She was up again after a moment, walking slowly away down the empty street, he followed, keeping to the shadows, moving silently in the still night. This was better, this stalking of prey, this he knew. She led him off the main street, turning to cross a small deserted park  
  
His lips curved into a cruel smirk, they just didn't get any brighter did they. He quickened his pace, moving closer.  
  
Dawn didn't know what had possessed her to short cut through the park, just hadn't been thinking straight she guesses. Buffy's reaction had her stomach churning with vexed disquiet. Then she felt it, that distant yet still familiar feeling of being followed. For a moment she felt like she was in Sunnydale again, a frightened teenager in a town full of evil.  
  
The sound of a snapping twig behind her had her wheeling round, heart pounding, eyes straining uselessly in the dark.  
  
She didn't even have time to squeal in surprise. Unnaturally strong arms held in a vice like grip, one hand holding something over her nose and mouth. She recognised the feeling, that brief moment of light-headedness as blackness overtook, chloroform.  
  
..........  
  
Willow was aware that she hadn't contributed a single thing to the Scooby meeting in which she sat. She was aware that Giles and Xander where giving her increasingly worried looks. Angel had tried asking her opinion directly but she had merely shrugged and mumbled that she wasn't sure. She was also painfully aware that Buffy had not asked her opinion, nor had looked at her for the entirety of the meeting.  
  
Buffy was talking again, cheerfully lamenting their spectacular lack of progress. She was agreeing with Giles that Angel should travel to the hellmouth to support the Faith in organising the slayers gathered there. She was discussing the possibility of bringing the other slayer groups to North America. She had offered snacks and talked to Xander about his work with the council, but she had not said a single word about the resurrection of William the Bloody.  
  
Buffy resolutely refused to meet Willow's worried eyes. If she did she knew she would break, knew that the strength of will which fortified her would crumple, and she would break. If she looked at the redhead, she would see the truth in her, would not be able to deny that Willow would not lie, and could not be wrong, about this. And Buffy wanted to deny. Denial after all was Buffy Summers' most cherished stalwart.  
  
"So we're agreed" Willow tried desperately to focus on the Watchers words. "Angel will travel to the hellmouth to assist Faith, in the meantime I will have the council to begin moving the Slayers to the agreed strategic locations." He paused and looked at the Slayer. "You're sure we would not be better employed to move all the Slayers to a single location?"  
  
Buffy shook her head, blond hair bouncing around her determined face. "No they'd make to inviting a target. And we're not even certain Marcus will move at the hellmouth. Plus according to you're patterns of death and mayhem chart, all of these towns are on the main routes the demons are taking. Maybe the girls can take a few of them out before they even get to Marcus. "  
  
With that the meeting was over, Angel said his goodbyes and left quickly, determined to make good distance before dawn. Giles left with him, returning to his motel to begin making the necessary arrangements.  
  
That left the three friends, the original scoobies, sitting in awkward silence in the Slayers living room. Xander fingered the strap of his eye patch, a nervous habit he had developed since Sunydale "So" he began, leaning forward and clapping his hands together "You two gonna tell me what all this is about?"  
  
.........  
  
Spike was half way drunk, he swayed violently as he made his way across the room towards the unconscious figure on the bed, no make that Spike was very drunk indeed. And why the hell wouldn't this girl wake up already. He dropped to his knees beside the bed and studied her relaxed face. She was beautiful really, not in the same way that Buffy was beautiful, not so fiery and fierce, more refined. Wait stop, did he just call the Slayer Buffy? Did he just call the Slayer beautiful? Ok he was so far past drunk now it was getting worrying.  
  
She murmured softly in her sleep bringing his unfocused attention back to her face, unbidden his hand reached out and tenderly brushed some stray strands of hair from her face, his fingertips lingering on her warm skin. "Shit" he slurred softly retracting his hand quickly, too quickly in fact, the violent action upset his already suspect balance and he fell back heavily on his backside, glaring accusingly at his treacherous hand.  
  
Anger and confusion surged through his inebriated mind. He rose quickly grabbing the girl roughly, pulling her up so that she was half sitting on the bed. He shook her one handed, bringing the other down in a hard slap across her pretty face. "Wake up!" he demanded angrily.  
  
Dawn felt consciousness returning, her face stung painfully and her teeth rattled as she was shaken again. She opened her eyes, blue met blue, and everything stilled. It was him, she had believed Willow of course, but knowing and seeing are worlds apart, and it was really him. She couldn't look away his eyes where so blue, bluer even than she remembered. Recognition flashed briefly in his eyes, before shocked confusion took its place.  
  
"Spike" she breathed his name so softly human ears would have struggled to determine the sound even at this close range. She was pressed against him and he was here and he was real and solid and, drunk? Boy did he reek, whisky and cigarette smoke. The smell would have repulsed her in any other situation, but it was all so totally Spike that she found herself inhaling it deeply.  
  
Spike felt the world tilt uncontrollably as she met his gaze. Her eyes, which should have be full of fear and tears, shone with wonder and affection? He heard her breath his name in an awe filled whisper before she breathed deeply through her nose, eyes falling half shut. Shit, was she sniffing him? He pushed her back down on to the bed and stumbled back reaching a hand out to steady himself against the wall.  
  
He watched her horrified, gasping for airs his lungs seemed to forget he didn't need. "Spike?" she questioned softly pushing herself up into a sitting position "Spike are you okay?"  
  
He growled, disorientated and confused, strange sensations overwhelmed him, at the sound of her concern. Anger surged through is veins, taking the edge of his drunkenness, and then he was on her pinning her beneath him. Her arms and legs pinned painfully beneath his weight.  
  
"Who the hell are you?" he growled, his eyes flashing golden with the force of his rage. "What the bloody hell is going on here?"  
  
He had her trapped, his feral eyes flashing with contempt, and he didn't recognise her as his friend, and yet she could not summon any fear. He was after all Spike and his role as protector was ingrained deeply in her consciousness. She was Dawn and he was still Spike, and Spike did not hurt Dawn, it was a simple fundamental truth of her world.  
  
"Spike it's me, Dawn" her voice was calm and reasoning and it served to fuel his anger. How dare she presume to be unafraid? Even now, here, when the intoxication scent of terror should have been rolling off her in waves she was calm, how dare she?  
  
"Sorry love don't know any Dawn" He sneered at her his voice dripping malice. "But I do know that you're all matey with the Slayer, which... well lets just say than ain't gonna work out too well for you"  
  
Clasping both of her hands in one of his, he let his eyes run lavishly over her breasts. "You see me and little Buffy we got ourselves a bit of history. Now she hurt someone real special to me, and now I'm returning the favour. 's nothing personal luv" He leered at her, and bring his free hand up with preternatural speed ripped her cotton blouse clean from her body.  
  
He growled in satisfaction as her body screamed out in fear. She fought him now struggling futilely to free herself, body writhing enticingly against his.  
  
"Please Spike, please Spike it's me Dawn. Please stop! Oh God Spike please stop, stop" he laughed at her pleas and moved his hand down to push up the hem of her silk skirt. 


	10. A kind of knowing

Willow jumped visibly at Xander's question, while the Slayer just looked down, avoiding her friends questioning gaze.  
  
"Come on guys" Xander pressed, his voice soft and laden with understanding "It's not natural seeing you two at fighting, unless of course Willow's trying to end the world. You're not trying to end the world are you Wills?"  
  
No answer, but at least the two had glanced at each other all be it a wary look. "Guys?" he prompted again, voice beginning to betray irritation.  
  
The shrill ring of the phone shattered pierced the heavy atmosphere like a scream, causing all three to flinch. Buffy regarded the phone with a suspicious look for several moments before Willow found her voice "Are you gonna get that?" she asked timidly.  
  
Willow watched the one sided conversation with increasing alarm, she managed to glean that it was Jake, calling for Dawn, Dawn who they all assumed had spent the evening at the movies with Jake.  
  
"Okay Jake, I'll let her know you called, bye" Buffy finished, her voice devoid of emotion as she hung up.  
  
She looked up at the pair, eyes laden with guilt "Dawn's missing" she informed them unnecessarily. Her eyes met Willow's, luminous and brimming with tears. "It must be..."  
  
"Spike" the redhead supplied, when her friend trailed off. "He must have her, it's just too big a coincidence"  
  
"Spike, what? Are you serious?" neither girl acknowledged Xander's bemused questioning.  
  
"Can you find her, a spell?" Buffy solemnly asked the witch, who nodded confirmation. "Do it."  
  
......  
  
Dawn had not been this scared since she had stood on Glory's tower and watched Spike fail to save her from Doc's blade. The same Spike who had worn such a heartfelt expression of regret as he had fallen from the tower. The same Spike whose unnaturally strong hands where now leaving bruises on her thighs as he pushed her legs apart. She had exhausted herself with fruitless struggles and could now do nothing more than lie there beneath him and weep.  
  
She cried with fear for herself, she cried for Buffy who had been through the same, and despite the horror of the situation she cried for Spike, for her friend, for the trust they had once shared, about to be lost forever.  
  
Spike lifted his head from where he was drunkenly tasting the salty skin of her collarbone and looked into her tear filled eyes. She was so utterly desperate, so completely afraid, he would rip the heart out of whatever had put that devastated look on her face, he'd tear their head off and...  
  
He stopped his inner rant. That would be him of course. "Sort it out mate" he growled audibly and reached down the free himself from the confines of his jeans, startled to find his body was not exactly a willing accomplice to this defilement.  
  
Dawn heard his zipper and began to fight him again in earnest, muttered pleas tumbling unbidden from her lips.  
  
He looked up again at her face, dark hair lightened to gold in his minds eye, honeyed skin and green eyes filled with hurt and betrayal. A different voice filled his ears "Spike. Please Stop, I'm hurt"  
  
Dawn felt him retract from her as if she where covered in holy water, she opened her eyes to see him scrambling back to huddle against the far wall, head buried in his hands, mindless words of regret and apology tumbling from his lips.  
  
He lifted his head fixing her with tear filled eyes, wide, guilty and confused, and then she heard it, one word breathed so softly she could have missed it. One uncertain word that had her crawling across the ratty motel carpet towards him "Nibblet"  
  
She pulled his shaking body to her own. His head pillowed against her breasts in an almost maternal embrace, shushing him gently as he babbled out his regret, the promise to never hurt her again repeated like a mantra against her skin. She rocked him gently letting the forgiveness that in Buffy she had refused to understand pour out of her and wrap around him like a warm blanket.  
  
"It's okay, Spike, it's okay. Hush, it's okay, I got you" her voice was soothing and gentle, her hand stroking his hair.  
  
"Nibblet, little bit, I'm sorry. God I'm so sorry. Never hurt you. Never hurt you again. I'm sorry, so sorry" his words where muffled against her chest and his hand clutched desperately at her slim shoulders. "Forgive me, please, I'm so sorry"  
  
She held him like that, until alcohol and emotional exhaustion finally claimed him. She followed him quickly in to sleep, propped awkwardly against the cold wall.  
  
............  
  
"Shouldn't we call Giles?" Willow questioned the Slayer as she and Xander hurried to keep up with her brisk pace.  
  
"No time." Buffy answered shortly, her face set in a mask of grim determination as she strode towards the car.  
  
They sped towards the outskirts of town, where the Barret Motel stood in all its seedy neon glory.  
  
.......  
  
His eyes cracked open and he found himself in a warm, comforting embrace, the night's events coming back to him slowly. He extracted himself gently from the girls embrace and stood, scooping her up effortlessly as he went. She shifted against him and he stilled, not wanting to wake her.  
  
Two smooth steps had them alongside the bed, where he laid her body gently down on top of the covers, pulling her tattered blouse closed as best he could. He sat down beside her and studied her sleeping face, so pretty and vulnerable, his Nibblet.  
  
She was his. He knew that. Knew that somehow she was his responsibility, his to protect and cherish. He touched her face gently, Dawn, she had called herself Dawn. The name meant nothing to him, but she did. From what place or time he couldn't say, he had no memory of her, nothing for his mind to grasp on to but the certain knowledge that she was his.  
  
A screeching of tyres on gravel announced the arrival of the Slayer and her merry band of do gooders. He moved to the window twitching the curtain to get a look at her, God but the she was magnificent, hair catching in the breeze, her feet planted firmly apart as she surveyed the motel car park. The witch pointed in his direction and he withdrew deeper into the room, listening to their footsteps crunching on the gravel outside.  
  
With a loud crash the Slayer made her entrance, the door flying inward as her booted foot ripped it from its hinges. Her eyes went first to the girl on the bed, taking in her dishevelled appearance and tearstained face. When her eyes found him they blazed with righteous fury.  
  
She was on him quick as lightning, one frighteningly powerful kick sending him crashing backwards, his body leaving an imprint in the plaster of the wall. "Spike!" she hissed his name, venom and horror mixing in her voice.  
  
He gave her a sardonic smile as he climbed almost casually to his feet. The dance was finally about to begin. "'Ello Slayer" he drawled, "How've you bin? Life been all blood and peaches since you left me to burn?"  
  
"Don't" was that a command or a plea? He wasn't sure. "Just don't!" definitely, inexplicably, a plea.  
  
"What's the matter Slayer? You look like you've seen a ghost" He tucked a thumb through his belt loop and grinned at her. "Guess you weren't expecting the big bad to pull a bloody phoenix on ye hey?"  
  
"Why Spike?" she was looking at him with huge luminous eyes, full of hurt and betrayal. He frowned, betrayal? As if this wasn't entirely expected of him.  
  
"Why?" he asked her incredulously "You leave me to burn and you ask why?" he scoffed at her "Just supposed to forget that am I, all is Bloody forgiven."  
  
He had moved closer while he spoke, although she didn't seem aware of it, perfect, striking distance. His fist shot out connecting mercilessly with the side of her face, sending her stumbling to his left. He took the opening and barrelled through the closed window, landing on the gravel outside in a graceful roll.  
  
He ran across the courtyard, his blood singing with excitement at the sound of her pursuing footsteps. He turned to face her, God but she was amazing, face flushed, adrenalin pumping though her body, making it buzz with power.  
  
He titled his head to the side, regarding her with a knowing smirk. "This is gonna be a kick"  
  
To Buffy the moves of their dance where so familiar she hardly needed to think at all about it. Punch, duck, spin kick, repeat as required. Instead her mind wandered, to Dawn, motionless, but still breathing despite her torn clothes and tear stained face, on his bed. He hadn't killed her maybe... No she could not afford to hope. It was hope that had stayed her hand with Angelus, and people had died for it, she would not hope again.  
  
And yet the words came. "Spike, please, stop this. We both did what we had to. You know I never would have..." A fierce round house to the side of her head cut her off and sent her to her knees.  
  
He was on her in a flash. Kneeling behind her, holding her flush against his body, her arms pinned uselessly to her sides. "Oh yes, Slayer" he hissed in her ear, so close that despite herself Buffy felt that oh so familiar fission of desire ripple through her body. "We did what we had to. Had to save your precious Angel didn't ya?"  
  
Her brow furrowed, save Angel, what was he talking about? Was he angry because she had chosen him to wear the amulet rather than Angel? She tried again to reason with him "You know why I chose you over Angel" she told him firmly, "it was our fight not Angel's"  
  
"Bollocks!" he countered vehemently, "it wasn't about you, or Angel, it was about her, about saving her. And now she's gone, because of you" He brought his head down towards her throat, his lips moving over the skin as he spoke. "But we can fix that now, all I gotta do is kill you and I can get me my Dru back in the land of the un-living."  
  
A lightning fast twist of her body, combined with a backward thrust of her head and she was free. Turning on him again eyes flashing with rage and jealousy "Dru!" she almost screamed the name "Dru! After everything... It's still about Dru?"  
  
He frowned, the poor bird was clearly as crazy as the lady in question, wasn't everything about Dru? Another round of vicious kicks and punches saw Spike at a disadvantage, trapped between the Slayer and the wall of the motel, her stake poised for the kill.  
  
She hesitated, he almost crowed with satisfaction at the sight. That split second that could win or lose a fight, and she hesitated. Ever the opportunist Spike reacted, one hand snaking out to grab her wrist, while he moved in close to throw her over his hip. She landed heavily on her back, breath exiting her body with an audible whoosh.  
  
She didn't struggle when he descended on her, body covering hers fangs travelling towards her exposed throat. She felt a strange wave of numbness grip her body. He was going to kill her, somehow it seemed fitting that she would be his, one way or another he had always possessed her, and how he would make her his third.  
  
Sighing her acceptance she let her head fall to the side giving him better access to her jugular.  
  
He recognised the stilling of her body, the strange calm that pervaded her being. Her resigned sigh confirmed his suspicion. There it was at last, the slayer death wish, finally catching up with her. His fangs pierced the soft skin of her throat with and almost reverent care, a clean wound over an old unnoticed scar.  
  
Her blood was like fire, powerful, potent and intoxicating. His mouth burned with the taste and his body sang out in ecstasy. Slayer blood, the best of the best.  
  
Then they came, with every gentle sip of her life's blood he saw them, images and words, flashing across the screen of his mind. Scenes he had never witnessed playing out behind his eyes.  
  
He saw the Slayer at the tip of Angelus' sword. Saw her fighting vampires alongside him in a magic shop. Faster and faster the pictures, came, half formed and confused, she was laughing in one scene, in another she was scared, eyes filled with tears. He saw her body lying still on a pile of rubble and knew she was dead. He saw her throwing punch, sleeping, walking, issuing commands.  
  
He pulled away from her throat and locked his eyes with hers "Buffy?" he questioned, searching her face for answers "What's happening to me?" 


	11. A segment of truth

Buffy's eyes opened almost lazily to meet his, only he could say her name like that, drawing out the syllables to make her silly frivolous name sound like and evocation. It took her a moment to register that he had asked her a question, she didn't have the answers, how could she? But she would try to find them for him, because no one else could say her name like that.  
  
"Spike?" her own question, a single word to ask so much. Her hand came free of his now gentle grip and reached out to trace the line of his jaw. He closed his eyes, leaning in to her tender touch.  
  
"Bloody hell!" he was off her and had taken three steps back before she realised he had moved. "What the hell have you done to me? Is your witch, screwing with my head?" he was pacing angrily, glaring at her accusingly  
  
"No Spike, we didn't do anything, I swear" her voice was calm and reasoning, hands face down in front of her in a steadying gesture. "I didn't..." her voice broke with evident emotion "I didn't even know you where back" she finished softly eyes averted almost shyly.  
  
"Buffy" Willow's voice drew both their attention to the small group approaching them. Willow scurrying ahead, concern etched deeply on her pale brow. Xander followed more slowly, arm wrapped protectively around a shivering Dawn, drowned in his oversized jacket.  
  
"Fantastic, enter the super friends" Spike's sarcastic tone bit into the night air. His pose was casual now, thumbs tucked in his belt, hands splayed out over the buckle, the very image of indifferent calm.  
  
"Dawnie, are you okay?" Buffy turned her back on the vampire to examine her sister "Are you hurt?"  
  
"I'm fine." The brunette answered as she stepped forward to embrace the shorter girl, careful to keep the tell tale bruises on her wrist hidden beneath the jackets long sleeves. She caught Spike's eye over the Slayer's head, understanding passing between the two. An unspoken pact of silence.  
  
Spike watched the girls embrace with tangible affection, the hug somehow more intimate even than a lovers touch. A strangely familiar scene. Curiosity may have been the downfall of the cat, Spike was certain that one day it would also be his undoing. Before he could stop himself the question was disturbing the stillness of the night.  
  
"Who are you?" he asked, his head tilted to the side eyes locking with the brunettes.  
  
To Spike it had seemed a reasonable question, to ask a familiar stranger who they were. Completely natural, right? Wrong, if the looks on the faces of the Slayer and her little gang where anything to go by. Gaped. That was a good word for it, like today's catch on a fishmongers slab.  
  
"What?" ..............  
  
The Slayers where horribly outnumbered and taking heavy losses. Vi beheaded a vampire and turned to call the retreat. "Back!" She shouted, her once shy voice ringing out strongly over the din of battle. "Fall back!"  
  
The retreat was swift and well organised, but still they lost girls on the way. Trex demons sprayed their paralysing venom onto the Slayers while flying bedrog demons swooped down to slash the immobilised girls with razor sharp talons.  
  
A group of vampires where attempting to flank the on the right. Barking orders at her lieutenants she wheeled the group left and headed for the sanctuary of Rushden House, with its battle ready walls and protective wards.  
  
She wasn't counting the fallen. There would be time for tears later when the survivors filed their devastating reports with the Watchers back at Rushden. Now her mind was focused on the desperate fight for survival, on bringing as many girls back to safety as possible.  
  
...........  
  
"You don't know her?" the witch's bemused question, served to irritate the vampire.  
  
"Wouldn't be bloody asking if I did now, would I?" his tone implied that he considered her to be among the stupidest people in the world. "And would ye all stop gawking at me like that. Enough to make a fella nauseous, looking down your gullets"  
  
"Ok" It was Xander who spoke, raising one hand "Who else is getting a good old fashion Sunnydale wiggins?"  
  
The group nodded in agreement, all eyes still riveted to the vampire. It was Dawn who finally formed an answer, prompted by the impatient raising of his scarred eyebrow. "Dawn. I'm Dawn" a note hurt in her quiet voice  
  
"Got that already, luv." He answered, his voice indescribably gentle. "Doesn't ring a bell is all"  
  
"Dawn" she insisted as if repetition would somehow break through his ignorance. "Buffy's sister"  
  
He titled his head back slightly and regarded the group suspiciously before speaking. "Slayer didn't have no sister last time me and her had a rumble" he glanced over at the unusually quite blond. "What is she then? Some kinda long lost?"  
  
Finally Buffy managed to pull together enough brainpower to form actual words. "You don't remember her?" she asked rhetorically "What do you remember?"  
  
........  
  
Giles resigned himself to leaving a message on the Buffy's machine. "Buffy, it's me Giles. Please call me as soon as you get this message. The council... I have news from... Buffy call me, we have a problem."  
  
He hung up the phone carefully and moved to sit on the motel bed, thanking God that he had decided to splash out on one of the towns more expensive motel, one that supplied a mini-bar.  
  
Knocking back a straight scotch, he let out a worried breath. The latest attack had been one of the most devastatingly well organised. It was only luck that it had been Vi leading the patrol when it was attacked, only a battle hardened Slayer could have brought the group back with so few losses.  
  
So few losses? Twenty-seven girls dead, another nine badly injured. But given the circumstances it was quite and achievement. The hundred strong patrol had been engaged by nearly three times their number, demons of five different species. A well planned and perfectly executed attack launched just days before the European slayer division was due to depart for the Americas.  
  
It left the watcher with a quandary, bring the group to America as planned, and leave a battalion of demons unchecked in England, or leave the girls at Rushden and weaken whatever army they could assemble for the inevitable showdown with Marcus.  
  
Where in God's name was Buffy? ..............  
  
They where lying, they had to be. But if they where lying then they surely would have been able to concoct something a little less far fetched. He wasn't entirely clear on all the elements of the story, but the basic gist seemed to be that he had not died in the church as Marcus had said, but rather he had died years later during the destruction of Sunnydale.  
  
He had a strong suspicion that they where keeping details of the story from him, they had told him that a government implanted chip had stopped him from harming humans and driven him into the Slayers circle. But that did not explain why he had actively offered them his help, or why he had taken a teenage girl into his sworn protection.  
  
His forming a pact with the Slayer to spite his grandsire was one of the story's more believable elements. While the claim that he had fought side by side with for years was beyond ridiculous.  
  
"You expect me to believe this load of old bollocks?" he asked the group when they paused in their confusing and disjointed tale, the clarity of which was in no way aided by them constantly interrupting and correcting one another.  
  
He saw a flash of annoyed impatience cross the Slayers face and somehow it added to their pitiful credibility.  
  
"It's the truth Spike" his Nibblet was speaking to his right, drawing his attention reluctantly away from the Slayer. She flashed him a smirk that he couldn't help but recognise as akin to his own "Could we make this stuff up?"  
  
He gave a short bark of laughter and reached out to gently tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, amazed that after what had happened earlier that night, she didn't flinch at the contact, rather she leaned imperceptibly into the touch and gave him a lazy smile.  
  
"Well if that's the truth of it, which I gather from the conspicuous lack of staking, it is. Then the question before the court is, what the hell is the wanker who brought me back up to?"  
  
Okay this was better, Buffy thought, something positive to focus on, something slayery. She could do this, so much easier than trying to explain five complicated years of love and hate, while not actually coming clean on any of the love. Way too soon to drop that in to the conversation. What would she say anyway "Oh Spike, don't you remember you're supposed to be in love with me. That's pretty much why you endured, abuse torture, humiliation and eventual death" yeah right.  
  
"What do you know about him? The guy that brought you back I mean" she asked. His face turned pensive and he held her eyes with his. Oh shit, she thought, oh shit, he's looking at me, he's gonna know everything, he always knows everything.  
  
When he spoke she was almost shocked to hear him keeping on topic. "Not much, I was out of there pretty quick. Vampire, couple of strange demon types working for him, powerful warlock on the payroll, goes by the name of Marcus."  
  
....... 


	12. A lack of answers

"No bloody way!" Spikes blatant disobedience, shocked her. Buffy sighed trying hard to remember that the man standing before was not her Spike, not the willing slave he had once professed himself to be.  
  
"I know you don't like the thought of working with us" she explained patiently "but, whether you like it or not we have a common enemy." She paused, he may not know her, but she certainly knew him, time for the big guns. "Unless" she continued her tone convincingly guileless "you're okay with being played"  
  
Bulls-eye, she watched him prickle with the insinuation. "Right then. All back to Slayer central for the big powwow, get the watcher on the case and all"  
  
Willow had taken the front seat on the way back, leaving the sisters crammed in the back with Spike. He could feel the younger girls warmth through their clothing as she pressed up against him, again he marvelled at her willingness to be so close to her would be rapist. He felt a strange comfort in her presence, oddly the stranger was the one thing in this ludicrous situation that made sense in his altered mind.  
  
He glanced at the Slayer in time to see her drop her eyes self-consciously. The looks she had been giving him all night where very disconcerting, unreadable and intense. Bitch must be up to something he concluded bitterly.  
  
......  
  
Giles drove at a steady pace towards the Slayers house, keeping his eyes open for patrol cars, he had just enough whiskey in his blood to land himself in trouble should he be stopped. Ordinarily he would never consider driving, but three long hours of unsuccessfully trying to call Buffy and her friends had driven him to take the risk.  
  
He arrived in time to find Xander locking up his car on Buffy's drive.  
  
"Xander" he called out as he got out of his own, hastily parked car. "What's going on? I couldn't raise a single one of you on the phone"  
  
Xander looked for a moment as if he was about to launch into an explanation, before he seemed to reconsider, giving a slow shake of his head. "You better come in, this has gotta be seen to be believed" with that he was walking purposefully towards the frond door, leaving Giles to scurry after him.  
  
"I can't reach Giles at his room" Giles heard Willows voice as he made his way towards the living room.  
  
"No problem" Xander entered the room ahead of him "I found him right outside your very own front door" As he entered the room the watcher took a moment to absorb the oddly nostalgic scene. Willow worried and skittish stood to his left as he walked in, hands wringing with nervous tension. Buffy was directly in his line of sight standing arms crossed in front of the mantelpiece, every inch of her proclaiming Slayer in charge. To his right he could see a slightly pale Dawn, looking vulnerable and younger than she had for many years in Xander's oversized coat. Beside her lounged Spike, one arm thrown over the couch behind her, his pose half protective, half sprawling indifference. The scene was so reminiscent of Sunnydale that Giles wondered seriously if he had been transported back... Wait a minute Spike?  
  
Turning slowly to face the vampire, indisputably recognisable despite his altered appearance, Giles was fully aware that he was gaping but completely unable to rectify the situation. "Spike?" from the annoyed roll of the vampires eyes Giles assumed that disbelieving recognition was beginning to wear on Spike notoriously short temper.  
  
He turned to Buffy expression requesting an explanation. Her confused shrug left him massaging the bridge of his nose, ineffectually trying to reduce the pounding he could feel building behind his eyes. ..........  
  
"So" Giles tried again to paraphrase the situation in an attempt to wrap his reluctant mind around the facts. "Marcus raised Spike from the dead and sent him here believing you killed Drusilla and himself during the Dulac ritual"  
  
At the Slayers encouraging nod he pressed on "Spike came here to kill you in order that Marcus reincarnate Drusilla, and kidnapped Dawn, of whom he has no memory of at all, in spite of the fact that in our memories Spike had contact with Dawn during his attack on the school on parent teacher night."  
  
"That's right!" the vampire drawled his tone conveying bored impatience "Didn't see her then, don't remember a thing about her now." He ran a hand through his tawny hair "Picked her up in the park, just a nummy treat and a message for the Slayer, if you know what I mean"  
  
Giles studied him for a moment, despite the chilling inference of his words his body language was familiarly protective as he sat with the girl. "And yet you didn't kill her?"  
  
Spike stiffened visibly and tilted his head back to regard the watcher through narrowed eyes. "No" he drew out the syllable, his tone defensive "Got curious is all, she knew me and I wanted to know how"  
  
Dawn gave him and incredulous frown before turning to the group "He called me Nibblet" she stated as if that in itself was proof of his good intention.  
  
Giles' eyed the vampire curiously, causing him to prickle uncomfortably under the scrutiny. "I thought you didn't remember her" "I don't!" The vampire shouted exasperated before sighing and relenting, he touched dawns glossy hair "Just seemed to fit is all, that and not wanting to hurt her, not when it came to it. Now this bunch of complete losers have given me their frankly not terribly believable version of events and I'm bored. What say I leave you lot to thrash it out and you can fill me in another time"  
  
Buffy watched him plant a kiss on the top of her sister's head before standing to leave, the gesture should have been incongruous given the circumstances, but the ease with which it was given and receive made it seem the most natural thing in the world. He didn't even glance at her as he made his way to the door and she felt a bitter pang of hurt. He was leaving, what if he didn't come back, and he was pretty pissed off, just like him to do something pigheaded, like disappear without a trace. Panic gripped her, he couldn't leave, he had to stay. She had to make him stay.  
  
"Be back here tomorrow at midnight" she ordered causing him to stop in the doorway, his back to her. He looked at her over his shoulder, unruly curls covering one eye, causing her to fidget under his gaze. "And if I find you've killed anyone, I will hunt you down and stake you" Buffy was amazed at how authoritative she sounded, she was also aware of how comfortably familiar it was to threaten Spike, had she really done it that often. He narrowed his eyes and for a moment she was so certain he would defy her that his nod of ascent left her speechless as he disappeared from the room.  
  
No one spoke till several moments after they heard the door slam shut. Then the damn broke and several voice competed at once for her attention, Willows worried "Are you ok?" virtually drowned out by Xander's exclamation of disbelief and Giles pragmatic demand for further explanation.  
  
It was Dawn who rescued her. "Guys!" she called them to order with graceful authority "I think we should get to this tomorrow evening. Let Buffy get some rest now ok?"  
  
.................  
  
"Can't sleep?" the question startled Buffy from her musings, where she sat in her pyjamas at the damaged kitchen counter. She gave her sister a tired smile and got up to make another cup of coco for the younger girl.  
  
Dawn watched her in silence while she worked, before joining her on the high stools to drink. "You wanna talk about it?" she questioned gently when the Slayer seemed to be drifting off again into her own world.  
  
"I'm fine" Buffy answered, her well-honed defences rising, like emotional battlements around her. She glanced at her sister's patient yet disbelieving expression and sighed. "It's a lot to take in you know?"  
  
"Tell me about it" Dawn huffed good naturedly "It wasn't you he tried to... umm tried to kill" if the Slayer noticed Dawn's awkward cover she let it slip, mind focusing inward on her own pain.  
  
"He's back," she continued, as if Dawn had never spoken. "He's back and he doesn't know me. He wants me dead, he hates me." She looked to her sister for understanding before continuing in a small voice "He hates me"  
  
"No" Dawn tried to reassure her. "He just doesn't remember is all, we'll fix it, and he'll remember." She gave her sister a small smile of comfort "He just doesn't remember Buffy"  
  
"He remembers you" the Slayer countered quickly, jealousy making her voice harsh. 


	13. A suspicion of more

"Failed" the vampire's exclamation startled Marcus, opening his eyes he saw Beatrice standing at the end of the bed her eyes glassy and unfocused. He pushed the teenage vampire who was eagerly deep throating him off roughly causing her to fall to the floor with a surprised whimper.  
  
"What is it my love?" he cooed as he approached the dark vampire, slowly hand outstretched as if he feared she would bolt like a timid animal. "What do you see my sweet?"  
  
She swayed for a moment muttering incoherently, her eyes closed. When she opened them to meet his they where clear, and cold. "Your plan has failed brother" she informed him haughtily "Spike has not killed her. I see a girl, beloved of the slayer, his heart softens for her."  
  
"What?" he asked, his voice as dark as his expression "Tell me what you see?"  
  
"His heart remembers, though his mind forgets. He is lost to our cause" She shrugged negligently and went to move away.  
  
Grabbing her roughly by the arm, Marcus pulled the slim woman flush against his body. "Sister" he crooned, his lips brushing her ear "you told me he would make her cry end her life" he paused to nuzzle her neck. "You are never wrong"  
  
She moaned softly placing her hands on the back of his head to encourage him in his ministrations. "And cry she does, but the brittle shell of her life still holds, for now"  
  
"So she will die?" Marcus asked pulling away to look into her dark eyes. Eyes that had once again taken on the gleam of madness, there would be no more answers tonight. Still the spark of lust that greeted him in their ebony depths told him the night would not be completely wasted.  
  
"Out!" the barked order had the younger vampire scurrying for the door with a muttered "Yes Sire!"  
  
"Come my sweet," he whispered in her ear as he led her towards his bed, his hands moving to undo the laces of her old fashioned bodice. Already he felt both weak and powerful with his need for her.  
  
Despite his fetish for girls on the cusp of adulthood no woman had ever affected him like she did. He remembered how as a boy he had waited in his room for her to come to him, how she would strip, slowly removing the heavy layers of her night clothes, before joining him in his bed whispering that he must be very quiet.  
  
It had been their secret, his, and his bright and beautiful elder sister, who was so admired by all the eligible gentlemen who came to visit. She enchanted all who came, with her coy smiles and naive glances, but when their backs where turn the looks she would give him where anything but innocent, wicked and filled with erotic promise.  
  
They where naked now, moving together on his silk sheets in perfect rhythm. She was above him, as she always was, pale skin and raven hair, a contrast so beautiful it was all he could do to lay beneath her and worship.  
  
........  
  
Dawn woke to the delicious smell of pancakes and fresh coffee, rubbing the sleep from her eyes she went downstairs, pulling her robe shut as she entered the kitchen.  
  
"Dawn" her sisters bubbly voice felt like bright light shining in her eyes, she winced "We where just wondering whether or not to wake you. You wanna come help pick the cake?"  
  
We? Cake? It took Dawn a few moment to realise that Richard was sitting at the kitchen counter smiling pleasantly at her, his friendly open face filled with delight at her sisters fine mood.  
  
"What?" Dawn asked disbelieving "Your going cake shopping? Don't you have that thing to do today?"  
  
"No" Buffy's tone was light but the look she gave the younger girl over her fiancé's head was filled with warning. "No thing. I'm 'free all day' Buffy"  
  
She moved forward and wrapped her arms around Richards's broad shoulders, her cheek pressing against his. "So you wanna come?" he asked seemingly oblivious to Dawns incredulity.  
  
"No thanks" she answers her tone neutral, her eyes meeting her sisters evenly, accusation barely hidden beneath the feigned normalcy "I have lots to do, important research"  
  
Richard nodded his understanding "So, how is college, you still acing all your classes?" His favourite topic of conversation with Dawn, Her impressive academic achievements.  
  
Buffy gave her an encouraging look, asking her silently to play along, giving a defeated shake of her head she sat down to eat pancakes and talk career options with her sisters fiancé.  
  
.........  
  
Spike lay awake on his motel bed, the mid morning light sneaking through the drawn curtains to cast bright patterns on the ceiling.  
  
He was thinking about Dru, according to the Slayer and her bunch of misfits Drusilla had emerged for the church fire fully restored. Years later she had disappeared, as had the majority of demons, laying low, relying on stealth and cunning to escape the multitude of slayers that now stalked the night.  
  
If he left now, he could find her, might take him years, but he would find her eventually. Maybe at sunset he'd just go, bugger the Slayer and her gang, and bugger Marcus, manipulative bastard. Just go, find her, wherever she was and get on with his un-life  
  
He sighed rubbing his forehead, no, best stay, find out what's going on. Could still kill the Slayer at a later date, that'd be fun, or not, Dawn wouldn't like it. He growled, getting up to pull a bag of A positive, which he had liberated from the local hospital the night before, from the small motel fridge.  
  
What the hell was wrong with him, thinking not to kill a slayer to spare a child's feelings? He looked at the bagged blood with disdain, bagging it on a Slayers instruction. William the Bloody Pathetic. He finished the blood in a single gulp and flopped back down on the bed determined to get a good days sleep.  
  
.................  
  
"Good afternoon Dawn" Giles greeted as she let him and Xander into the house. "I hope Buffy is ready, we have an awful lot to discuss before Spike's arrival at midnight, if indeed he decides to grace us with his presence"  
  
"I'm sure he'll be here" she answered, "its Buffy I'm not sure about"  
  
"Hey?" Xander's articulate question drew the girl's attentions.  
  
"She's not here" she explained, exasperation clear in her tone "She went out early this morning with Richard to choose a cake and hasn't been seen since"  
  
"Choose a cake!" the older mans voice rose with aggravation "We stand on the brink of war, with a coalition of demons who no doubt outnumber us four to one. We know nothing about their plans or their leader. Spike has been resurrected and sent to kill her and she is shopping for cake."  
  
"Hey don't shoot he messenger" Dawn raised her hands defensively. "This morning she was making pancakes and acting like everything was normal, I don't understand it either. I've been trying to call her on her cell all day but it's off"  
  
"Quite, I'm sorry Dawn, it's just..." he trailed off, removing his glasses and pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose.  
  
"I'll go look for her" Xander offered, Dawn gave him a grateful smile, thank God for good old reliable Xander. "Yes, er, thank you Xander that would be most helpful" Giles affirmed, polishing his glasses with slow deliberate turns of his thumb "In the mean time perhaps Dawn and I could begin looking into shaman with the kind of power needed to do something like this" he looked at Dawn "Will Willow be joining us?"  
  
"Yeah, she'll be here any minute. I've got a few volumes of 'Histories of the Dark Arts' in my own collection and I think Willow planned to bring over some more texts"  
  
"Splendid, your collection has been proving most useful, I have only been able to bring a few books myself, but I think they may be of use"  
  
............  
  
Buffy's tinkling laughter rang out across the deserted park as Richard pushed the swing even more energetically. She used her body weight to help push the swing higher and higher until Richard had to step aside and just watch her. She looked so beautiful, golden hair gleaming in the warm late afternoon sun, head thrown back with each forward swing.  
  
Eventually she brought the swing to a standstill and joined Richard on the bench. "It's been a lovely day" she commented a lazy smile on her face.  
  
"Yeah" he agreed closer, one hand snaking under her hair to caress the nape of her neck, she smiled again, a dreamy girly smile that made him lean forward and kiss her. He was surprised by the fervour with which she returned the kiss. He loved Buffy he truly did, but at times he did wish she were a little more passionate.  
  
Making out on a park bench with your girl, Richard felt about sixteen years old, however the kisses she was giving him where not those of a teenager. Her hands roamed over his back drawing them ever closer together, until she was virtually in his lap grinding herself against him.  
  
"Buffy" he pushed her away when her hand reached down between them to undo his fly. "Buffy what are you doing, I thought we where going to wait" This was insane, where had this sudden attack of bold passion come from, they where in a park for Christ's sake.  
  
"Don't wanna," she pouted at him, swivelling her hips against him. Shit she was killing him, he never wanted anything so badly as he wanted her at that moment, but they had agreed to wait.  
  
"Buffy" he pleaded, "Don't..."  
  
His word where cut off by a shout across the park "Buffy!" At the sound of Xander's voice she sprung off his lap, straightening he top.  
  
"Over here Xander" she called waving to her friend. Richard studied her as the young man approached, she looked so calm and composed, as if nothing had happened, while his own heart was hammering so loudly in his chest.  
  
And there it was again, the undercurrent of suspicion, she was acting strangely, cancelling their dates, trying to have sex with him in a park. He remembered a colleague telling him that he had never had more sex than when his wife was having an affair, guilt or increased sex drive or something.  
  
"Hey Buff" Xander greeted cheerily, nodding to Richard. "Did you forget that thing we where going to do tonight?"  
  
No not him Richard thought, sure the young man was well built and handsome, but something about the way he and Buffy interacted told him that it wasn't Xander. The other man then, Angel? Was that his name? He was a possibility, not Giles surely, although he himself could not have been more than ten or fifteen years the older man's younger.  
  
"Oh right, of course" She turned to him, kissing his cheek briefly "I gotta go darling, call me tomorrow" and with that she was gone, leaving him alone with a lingering stiffy and a suspicious mind.  
  
.........  
  
He looked at the pencil drawings laid out before him and sighed. He had been woken by a series of vivid dreams in mid afternoon, dreams of a life he had no recollection of living. Again the Slayer had feature heavily, mainly she was fighting, either with him or against him, fiery beauty eclipsing all as she moved.  
  
Her image stared back at him for half the sketches, expressions varying from highly pissed of to oddly tender. The other half where a mixture of dream images, somewhere of his Nibblet, some of Red, he refused to sketch the watcher or the whelp.  
  
More confusingly where the images that he snatched up and tucked in his inside pocket before heading out, just time to get a few drinks before he had to be at the Slayers.  
  
...........  
  
The recriminations had been tellingly brief when Xander arrived with Buffy. She had waved off their concerns, declaring that she was there now, could they please get started.  
  
It had been decided that they should go ahead and move the Slayers from Rushden, the attack was obviously designed to keep the Slayer groups separate. Once that had been decided conversation turned to what Giles referred to as "The Spike problem"  
  
"I'm just saying" Xander defended his call not to trust Spike, which had earned him a death glare from Dawn. "He's not our Spike, he's a soulless killer, just like when he first came to Sunnydale. You do all remember that right?"  
  
"Yes" Willow said diplomatically "But Spike is remembering pieces, maybe I can try a spell to free his memory"  
  
"No" Buffy's first contribution since the topic had turned to the vampire was loud enough to make others jump "I just mean we should find out more first" she mumbled turning her face away.  
  
Dawn frowned, last night Buffy had cried over Spike not knowing her, today she shot down any suggestion of helping him remember.  
  
Further discussion was prevented by the arrival of the vampire in question, strolling uninvited into the living room and perching himself comfortably on the arm of Dawn's chair.  
  
"So" he began, clearly enjoying the discomfort of the group "Got anything for me?"  
  
It was Giles who responded "Precious little I'm afraid. I was rather hoping you could give us some more information on Marcus"  
  
"Right you are, after you tell me why I see this lot in my dreams" with that he threw a collection of sketches on the coffee table. Willow gasped, her fingers moving to touch the crooked smile on the lips of one of the images. Xander turned away, sharp eyes stared up at him from one of the pages, a drawing of a pretty girl with fine bone structure and shoulder length hair, tears pricked his eyes, it was such a good likeness, her exact expression captured on cheap stationary, Anya. 


	14. A silent attack

"It is done sire" Solomon's deep voice penetrated the tense atmosphere of the room causing Beatrice to whimper softly. Marcus stroked his sister's hair gently while he acknowledged the demon.  
  
"Excellent, how long until they reach her?" he asked his eyes drifting again to the dark woman beside him.  
  
"Just hours sir. Jacob plans to attack before dawn"  
  
"And he understand that I want them dead. Her and the vampire" His hand tightened in the woman's hair causing her to keen softly in pain  
  
"He has sworn it on his tribes honour" Solomon answered. "He dare not fail"  
  
"Very well" Marcus relaxed his grip and returned to gentler ministration. "How goes the gathering?"  
  
"As planned sire, all but four of the divisions are in place, we are just days away from full strength. The Slayers too are readying themselves our intelligence tells us that they too are gathering around the hellmouth"  
  
"It is as well" Marcus smiled a cruel, confident smile "it will make the annihilation of their kind all the swifter." At his lieutenants uneasy look he walked over to the taller demon, laying his hands on his shoulders. "We out number then five to one my friend, the war will be swift and bloody, and when they die, the slayer line dies with them"  
  
He turned to look at the beautiful vampire behind him, "She has seen it, and she is never wrong"  
  
..........  
  
Dawn leant forward and began leafing through the sketches. There was another of Anya wearing here hair shorter, one of Glory next to which Spike had scribbled the word 'Bitch'. She smiled at that and handed the picture to her sister, who swapped it with her for a roughly drawn sketch of Adam.  
  
"Good lord" Giles muttered his eyes scanning the collection.  
  
Spike watched the group carefully as they passed the images around, wordlessly communicating with raised eyebrows and questioning looks. The whelp had moved to the window and was staring into the night, acting on impulse he reclaimed one of his drawings and moved to stand beside the young man.  
  
"In my dreams" he began softly, his eyes riveted to the image in his hands. "In my dreams she was extraordinary, fiery and forthright. One of a kind"  
  
Xander's eyes drifted to the picture, tears threatening to spill over. Spike didn't have time to question his own motivation, he pressed on as if compelled by some unseen force. "Your girl?" he asked, already knowing the answer.  
  
"Yeah" Xander answer, a whisper so soft only the vampire could hear him. "My girl." Lifting his eyes he saw the vampire nod, understanding radiating from him. Ironic how with his natural hair and grey T-Shirt Spike looked so much more like a man and so much less like the soulless killer he had once again become?  
  
He slipped the image into the taller mans hands and returned to the group. Ruffling Dawn's hair as he repositioned himself on her chair. "So" he turned his attention to the watcher. "What d'you reckon?"  
  
"Well" Giles began, removing his glasses "It seems clear that your subconscious mind is beginning to free itself from whatever means Marcus employed to block your memories. Willow here is an accomplished witch, she has offered to attempt to recover your memories"  
  
Spike sense the Slayer tensing just outside his line of vision, her body humming with sudden anxiety. He kept his senses a tuned to her as he regarded the witch "Not sure I want the good witch poking about in my noggin" the Slayer relaxed, interesting. "On the other hand, might simple things out if I knew what had been going on." A palpable increase in tension.  
  
"What you reckon Slayer?" he asked, enjoying her shocked expression as he settled his eyes on her. "You think we should have Red here work her mojo on me." Dear in headlights! Score! He chuckled inwardly, whatever was going on with the Slayer, had her riding a rollercoaster.  
  
"No" she answered too vehemently, before catching herself. "I mean, magic can be tricky, and if your remembering stuff without it, then it's probably best to wait and see what happens. I mean we don't want you to forget even more stuff." Stop Buffy stop, you're rambling. Stop. "Not that you would but, you might. Or you might remember other stuff that never happened, or being dead." For the love of God Buffy, stop! She commanded herself. He's looking at you like you're crazy. "Remember that time that we all forgot everything, what if something like that happened? Oh no, well you wouldn't. But take it from me it wasn't any fun, and..."  
  
"Buffy!" Oh thank God for Dawn. "We get it. Magic bad!" She glanced at he sister and then back at the vampire who was openly laughing at her now. Eyes crinkling with mirth, lips curled upward in genuine amusement. Her heart warmed, she'd made him laugh, okay so he was laughing at her incredible stupidity, but still she'd made him laugh. She returned his smile with one of her own, warm and affectionate. Immediately his laughter stopped and a hard look entered his eyes.  
  
"Right then" he address Giles. "Best do like the Slayer says" He gave Buffy another hard look. Pain twisted in her chest, he remembered Dawn, and Anya, and Tara. He was still calling Willow Red. Hell he'd even been nice to Xander, why was he looking at her like she was something he might find on his shoe. God if he hated her this much now, what would happen when he remembered what and Uber-Bitch she'd been to him.  
  
"I wonder" Giles ventured politely "would it be possible for you to give us some further detail on your own experience. Anything you can tell us about Marcus, or his operation would be most helpful"  
  
Spike drummed his fingers on his knee. "Don't know much," he answered, "Woke up in a cage naked as a new born. Some pretty powerful mojo, I reckon. This guy Marcus was there, didn't like him, far too smooth." He looked at the watcher, then at the Slayer, hiding her face behind a curtain of silky hair.  
  
"Anyways" he continued. "Marcus tells me that the Slayer killed me and Dru in that church fire. Remember, the ritual. Tells me he'll make me a deal, I keep the Slayer out of his way, he'll bring Dru back."  
  
"It doesn't make any sense" Dawn put in. "I mean he's got an army of demons, why not send them? Why go to all the trouble of bringing Spike back?"  
  
"Why bother at all?" the Slayer asked looking around the group, carefully avoiding Spike's eyes. "There are hundreds of Slayers now, why single me out?"  
  
It was Spike who answered. "Well there are Slayers, and there are Slayers." He looked at her, forcing her to hold his eyes. "Not all created bloody equal. If what you tell me is true, you got vamps, hell gods, even the grand daddy of evil to your name. If it were me, I'd want you out of the picture. You certainly mucked up my plans a few times"  
  
Don't smile, she told herself firmly as she basked in the compliment, he doesn't like it when you smile at him.  
  
...........  
  
Could be him, Richard thought as he watched the scene through the living room window. He'd watched the stranger saunter up Buffy's drive a while ago, entering the house without knocking. Everything about the man irritated Richard, his easy swagger, and self-satisfied smirk. The way he ruffled Dawn's hair as if she were a child. He watched as the man laughed at something Buffy was saying and he felt his anger rise.  
  
You don't know anything, he told himself, you're a rational man, no need to jump to conclusions. He moved up the drive to the front door, trying fruitlessly to catch the muffled conversation within. Taking a deep breath he pushed open the door, calling out a greeting as he entered the living room.  
  
"Richard" Buffy looked shocked, maybe even guilty. She tried to cover with a smile. "What are you doing here, it's..." she consulted her watch. "It's gone one"  
  
"You forgot this" he handed her the light chiffon scarf she had been wearing earlier that day.  
  
Frowning she took the scarf. "I coulda waited till tomorrow for this you know" she said, her tone unnaturally light.  
  
"Well I wanted to see you anyway" he responded catching her eye with a questioning look. Behind him Spike snorted, amused disdain written on his face.  
  
"Are you going to introduce me to your friend?" Richard asked fixing his gaze on Spike.  
  
"Where not friends" he said, his voice low and suggestive. The man's jealousy and suspicion was palpable. "We'll never be friends" he looked past the man to let his eyes roam over the Slayer, his tongue curling behind his teeth.  
  
The man's reaction was exactly as Spike expected, jealous anger contorting his face into a dark glare. The Slayer flushed prettily under his scrutiny; "Shut up Spike!" she ordered half-heartedly.  
  
Spike laughed again. "Well I'll be off then" rising he gave Dawn a cheeky wink before turning his gaze to the Slayer. "Same time tomorrow then, luv?" he drawled.  
  
"Umm, sure" she responded flustered by his sudden use of the endearment. "See you then"  
  
.......  
  
Jacob raised a clawed hand, silently bringing his companions to a halt. The house was lit despite the late hour, and he could make out a group of people through the window, among them was the vampire, obviously relaxed in the slayers home. Hatred dark and thick as tar flowed through his being. The vampire should have been his brother, bound together in Marcus, any alliance with a slayer was profane, a blasphemy to his master's name.  
  
He watched the vampire leave, sauntering casually out of the lair of the enemy. A few gestures of his hand had his men moving silently to flank the creature, their glowing eyes half closed to hide them in the night.  
  
"Wait" he ordered in his mind, his thoughts reaching out to his companions. "A little further from the house" his orders flowed through the ether silent and deadly.  
  
.........  
  
"Buffy" to anyone outside of the Scooby gang Willow's voice would have sounded no different to her usual tone, but the group had been through too much together not to hear urgency, maybe even fear in the single word.  
  
Dawn reacted immediately, instinctively coming to her sister's aid to her sister. "Hey Richard, I couldn't run a legal question past you could I? I know it's late but I know Mr Letterman is ask tomorrow"  
  
"Sure Dawn" Richard looked anything but pleased by the suggestion, "But I wanted to have a word with your sister first"  
  
"No problem" Buffy cut in broad smile cracking her face. "Go help Dawn, I'll be here when you're done" With that she shooed the pair upstairs towards the makeshift study.  
  
"What is it?" she asked urgently when her fiancée was out of earshot.  
  
"Psychic disturbance. Demons, I don't understand the language, but it felt like they where hunting. It's coming from the direction of North Street, maybe..."  
  
But she didn't get to finish, the Slayer was already moving, grabbing a battle-axe from it's hiding place in the closet. "Cover for me" she ordered before heading out into the night.  
  
.........  
  
Spike sensed his assailants too late. They where already upon him, wicked claws tearing deep gashes on his back. He rolled forward out of range, ignoring the searing pain that shot up his spine. Another attacked from the left, but he was ready, dropping under the sweeping arc of the demons clawed arm he kicked out hard at its legs, satisfied to hear the crunch of shattering bone.  
  
Another roll had him coming up to face them, back to the wall. Outnumbered six to one, and wounded, he calculated his odds of survival as very slim indeed. His eyes scanned for an escape route, but none revealed itself. "Well, well" he drawled, hoping to stall them "what have we got here? Little assassination party?"  
  
"Silence scum" the mental command sent pain shooting through Spikes brain, like electricity, like the chip. The memory startled him, it was so real, he could almost feel it's righteous punishments searing his brain. He relived the feeling of loss, the desperate helplessness that had first driven him in to the Slayer's circle. Distracted he failed to counter their combined attack, going down hard under the demons' powerful assault.  
  
Pain coursed through him as claws and booted feet drew blood and bruises from his prone body.  
  
.............  
  
Buffy thought she had been running as fast as was physically possible, but somehow she managed to accelerate at the unmistakable sound of his pained cry. Her mind chanted his name as she ran, pleading for his safety with a God that cared nothing for his kind.  
  
The scene that greeted her as she rounded the corner fuelled her rage. Six demons mercilessly beating the bloody and broken body of her erstwhile lover. An incoherent scream of fury ripped from her as she made the first swing of her axe.  
  
With that one strike two demon heads rolled to meet the tarmac, another downwards motion had another falling dead beside its comrades. The others turned to her, claws extended, eyes glowing like sulphur.  
  
She shifted her weight over one hip and gave the demons a hard look. "I think you wanna leave him alone" she suggested, her tone helpful and then they where on her.  
  
Spike was vaguely aware of the fight raging above him. And in it's centre, Buffy, golden and magnificent her hair flying about her as she turned, her axe blade flashing in the moonlight.  
  
She had saved him, it was too strange too even consider and yet somehow familiar. Had she come to his aid before? No not possible, self-righteous bitch would never lower herself to protect the likes of him. Yet here she was taking and landing blows in equal measure. Instinct told him to help her, she was down to two on one how, but she was tiring fast.  
  
Ignoring the protests of his battered body, he pulled himself upright. His head swam and his wounds shot pain across his torso, by force of will alone he managed to launch himself at the closer of the two demon, throwing himself up onto the things broad back, hands going to either side of its head. A sharp twist right snapped its neck with a sickening crack. Spike tumbled to the ground with his victim and let the blessed blackness take him.  
  
..............  
  
Willow answered the phone after only one ring. "Buffy?" she asked, anxiety making her voice urgent and shaky.  
  
"Get rid of Richard" an order, absolute and unquestionable, then silence.  
  
"Buffy?" but the slayer had already hung up, trusting that the red head would see too it.  
  
Willow nervously entered the study, her hands wringing in front of her giving her away despite her excessively casual tone. "Hey Richard, Buffy just had to go out. She said not to wait, she'll call you in tomorrow, well later today" she gave him and unconvincing smile.  
  
"Gone out?" Richard questioned incredulously. "It's two in the morning where did she go?"  
  
There was no way, Dawn thought, that Richard could recognise the change in the atmosphere, he had not, after all, spent his youth surrounded by the supernatural. No way he could interpret the slight change in Willows voice the darkening of her eyes. To him she was just Willow, Buffy's successful lesbian friend. How could he know that she was in fact one of the most powerful wicca ever to have lived?  
  
Magic, rich and soothing flowed through the air with her words, "It's nothing, don't worry about it. Just go home and Buffy will see you tomorrow. Just forget all about it"  
  
For a moment He looked disorientated, before snapping his attention back to the witch. "I'm gonna go" he announced as if it where his idea, "could you ask Buffy to call me tomorrow?"  
  
"Sure" the redhead answered as she walked him to the door, "I'll tell her. Goodnight Richard"  
  
.........  
  
"You don't get any lighter do you?" Buffy asked the unconscious man she was half carrying, half dragging up her front steps. "Guys" she called out, "A little help here".  
  
Xander was with her in an instant, his hands going to support the vampires opposite side as they pulled him into the house. Dawn gasped audibly as they entered the hall, her hands flying to her mouth in horror. "Is he okay?" she asked her sister, taking in the Slayers own bruises, the blood seeping through her shirt "Are you okay?"  
  
"I'm fine." She answered in a strong voice, before visibly faltering. "Please just help me get him upstairs" Pain and fatigue filled her voice "please help me, he need's blood and..."  
  
Desperate tears filled her green eyes as she looked to them, and fear too. What was she afraid of? Her sister wondered even as she moved to take his weight from her. Did she believe that they would not help her that old prejudices still held? True that the others where afraid of Spike in his current state, but surely Buffy could not believe that his sacrifices had been forgotten.  
  
"I'll go get some" Willow offered, gently touching her arm, "you let Dawn and Xander look after him, okay. You need to let Giles patch you up."  
  
Buffy stood still, watching the painfully slow progress, Dawn and Xander where making, hauling the vampire up the steps, she moved to follow them but the gentle pressure of the watchers hand on her arm stopped her. "They can look after him" he told her softly "come now, let me have a look at that cut"  
  
The iodine stung, but she barely felt it. She was certain that the bruised on her body should be sore, but she couldn't feel them. Exhaustion and worry filled her senses, leaving no room for mere physical pain. She tried to focus on Giles' voice, he was asking what happened, it was oddly comforting, reporting to her watcher, like older, simpler times.  
  
"Six off them" she told him. "They where trying to beat him to death in an alley of North Street. Big, nasty, very sharp claws."  
  
He gave her a wry smile "Well that narrows it down"  
  
She couldn't help give him a wan smile in return at that. "Are we done?" she asked, "I need to..." she looked towards the stairs  
  
"Of course" he replied gently holding her gaze, "you should be with him" 


	15. A coming awake

Dawn knocked gently on the open door of their spare room and watched as Willow turned slowly towards her with a distracted "hmmm?".  
  
"Hey" she greeted, moving to sit next to the redhead on the cheerfully bright duvet cover. "You ok?"  
  
"Of course Dawnie, why wouldn't I be?" Even in her own ears Willow's faux cheerful voice sounded tinny and hollow. She sighed and met Dawn's eyes "I just, I feel really bad you know"  
  
"I know." replied the younger girl. Willow marvelled once again at the woman before her, the strange understanding she possessed, innocence without naivety shone from her ancient eyes. Willow's own magical energy had long ago recognised the kindred power that flowed in Dawns blood and was humbled by its depth.  
  
"You did what you had to do" The 'Key' continued. "You did what Buffy needed you to do"  
  
"I know, I know. Its just..." she trailed off, turning her face away. "I know it was only magical suggestion. But its still just mind control by any other name and I..." she trailed off again looking back at Dawn and drawing strength from her quiet support. "After Tara... I promised myself I wouldn't do anything she wouldn't do, anything that would make her disappointed in me. She was so humble, so moral. I was arrogant back then, seduced by my own power, convinced that might was always right"  
  
Again she met the brunette's eyes, asking for, and receiving understanding. Reassured she continued, "I could've learned so much from her, so much about natural magic, and about right and wrong. I just wasn't ready, and by the time I was, she was gone and it was too late." She shook her head as if to clear it. "Would Tara have done what I did tonight?"  
  
"Tara would never judge anything you did, if it was done for the right reason" Dawn assured her, her warm hand finding Willows knee in a shown of comfort. "Somebody had to do something fast, and it was you who rose to it. Like it always is." She gave the witch a crooked smile "Remember what Buffy always said? You're the big gun"  
  
Both girls smiled at that and Dawn stood to leave "Don't beat yourself up Willow. You're not that girl anymore. Trust yourself. The rest of us do."  
  
With that she was gone, leaving the witch staring after her, a small smile on her lips.  
  
..........  
  
Dreams and memories merged in his exhausted mind, past images throwing themselves against the magical barriers in his mind. He dreamt of honeyed skin, warm and supple beneath his cold rough hands, fragranced with an intoxicating mixture of sweat and vanilla. He dreamt of angry words and small hard fists against his defenceless body. He dreamt of passion and hatred, of violence and indescribable tenderness, and at its centre a girl, golden and beautiful, faceless and yet so achingly familiar.  
  
He swam towards consciousness, dreams mixing with reality. Warm hands skimmed over his torn chest in a tender caress, the air stirred with soft warm breath. His muddled senses reached out to her, calling her to him, she moved closer as he stirred, heat radiated from her, infinitely more comforting than the heavy blankets draped over his body.  
  
Dreams slipped away. He raised an unsteady hand to find warm skin. He heard a sharp intake of breath. His had explored further, moving up a slim arm to cradle the silky skin of her neck, his thumb gently caressing the erratic beat beneath. She gasped again. Her vice came low and breathy "Spike".  
  
He forced his tired eyes to open. He had to see her, his dreams made flesh...  
  
"Slayer" he shrieked, recoiling violently at the sight. She recoiled too, standing and backing off a pace, her face flaming with embarrassment. "What the bloody hell are you doing?" he growled angrily.  
  
"I, er, I was umm" she faltered, desperately searching her panicked mind for a convincing excuse. He raised his eyebrows at her questioningly, an unpleasant sneer still curling his mouth.  
  
"I was tending," she blurted. "Er, tending your wounds, we've been taking turns and it was my turn. Yuck!" he was giving her that look again. The one filled with disdain and incredulity, conveying in no uncertain terms that not only did he disbelieve her, but he also disliked her intensely. "We, er, couldn't have you dying, we, er, need information, on, er Marcus" Well done Buffy, wanna cram another 'er' into that sentence.  
  
"I'll heal up a sight better without Slayer hands all over me. Enough to make a fella ill it is" he gave her a disgusted look before making himself comfortable again and closing her eyes.  
  
Buffy felt her anger rise, God he was infuriating. "You ungrateful bastard." She hissed causing him to open his eyes and fix her with a challenging stare. Buffy responded in kind. "I risk my ass to save you pathetic excuse for a hide, from a bunch of claw wielding demons. Drag your sorry ass all the way back here, put you in my bed, get you blood at three in the morning, and you have the nerve! God, could you be anymore annoying?"  
  
"Didn't ask you for nothing Slayer!" he countered pushing himself up to a sitting position. "Never asked for your help"  
  
"Oh" she responded her tone biting "Of course, you had that pack o' nasties beat. I shoulda realised that lying on the floor bleeding was all part of the plan"  
  
His jaw clenched visibly as he moved his legs painfully off the bed. "Better to be dust than owe the Slayer anything. And as for your bed! Smells of Slayer, 't's makin' me nauseous, so I'll just toddle off now" He stood shakily, leaning heavily on the wall.  
  
"Fine" she countered, hurt fuelling her anger "See how far you get, like that, no blood, no weapons."  
  
"I'll manage" he retorted, "you can keep your pig's swill, I'll take mine straight form the vein."  
  
She bristled, crossing her arms and stepping aside "You couldn't hunt down a kitten in your condition. Go on then, I really need to wash my sheets"  
  
He gave her another hate filled glare and summoning what was left of his strength pushed off the wall towards the door. He only made it half way. His head swam, and his legs gave out.  
  
Strong arms, slim and powerful caught him before he hit the floor. "Spike please" she begged, all traces of anger gone from her voice, replaced with concern. "Please just go back to bed, you need to rest"  
  
She was leading him towards the bed. He hadn't the strength to resist, even if he wanted to. He didn't. Every inch of his body hurt, and the bed was soft and warm and smelt nice, and the Slayer was asking nicely and she was warm too and she smelt so good too, like jasmine and soft feminine skin.  
  
He let her lay him down and bring the covers up around his chest, her hands didn't linger this time, her touch was almost professional against his skin, gentle but indifferent. He watched her leave through already closing eyes, sleep again reaching our to claim him. "Slayer" his weak voice stopped her at the door and she turned to him "Thanks" he whispered and was rewarded by a radiant smile.  
  
"Your welcome" she answer her voice soft and filled with tenderness, but he was already asleep.  
  
.........  
  
"The generals are ready sire" Solomon informed his master with a slight bow.  
  
"Excellent. There are no tribes yet to arrive?" he asked  
  
"All are here sire, and all are ready"  
  
"Good, you have the offerings?"  
  
"Yes sire, just as you commanded"  
  
The generals where a fierce some group of creatures, warlords for all the demon tribes under Marcus' banner. Master vampires in their human guises sat alongside huge Polgara demons and Fyral. Bedrog and Trex demon, natural enemies stood together at the back of the room.  
  
Horned Vaith demons drank Marcus' fine blood laced wine and discussed battle tactics with scaly Vahrall warlords.  
  
Silent Apeathans shamed by the failure of Jacob's assassination team stood alone to one side, while demons of all shape and sizes milled around the large oak table.  
  
"My friends" Marcus' greeting brought silence to the room. He smiled feeling the power of the amulet working it's magic on their minds.  
  
"The battle plans progress well," he informed them. "The slayers have positioned themselves just as we anticipated, and our own force grows in strength"  
  
"Each of you has played his" he broke off to give Anastasia, mistress of the largest vampire army ever assembled a charming smile "and her, part well. All is prepared, we need only wait until the alignment, and then we shall attack"  
  
A bold Chaos demon rose to question Marcus. "If all is ready lord, why wait until the alignment?" murmurs of agreement rippled through the room.  
  
"Patience comrades" Marcus chided gently. "It must be as it has been seen. It must be as I command" the amulet around his neck glowed in the softly lit room, lacing it's wearers words with power. Marcus could feel them bending to his will, accepting his commands.  
  
"All is ready" he addressed them again, his voice congenial. "We have time for a little relaxation, please follow me"  
  
He led them to a large hall, high ceilinged and echoing. In it's centre huddled a group of almost a hundred terrified humans.  
  
Young women, for the vampire lords, mothers clutching wailing babies, favour delicacy of the Vahrall. Witches for the Bedrog and handsome boys for the Apeathans.  
  
"Please" Marcus invited, with a flourish of his hand "Enjoy"  
  
Marcus stood beside Solomon and watched the carnage with an amused smile, laughing occasionally at the humans' futile attempts to escape their attackers. Blood stained the floor and screams echoed against the cold walls. .............  
  
"Have I been asleep long?" he asked, not opening his eyes. He had felt her there when he woke up, her presence filling his sense. Comforting and familiar, affection radiated through her warm hand where it stroked his. He smiled softly and opened his eyes. She was radiant, with her glossy hair and soulful eyes, her expression soft and indulgent  
  
"Hours" she answered "was pretty worried about you for a while." She moved her hand to brush his tousled curls of his forehead. "You know we have got to do something about your hair"  
  
He gave her a mock offended look. "What the bloody hell is wrong with my hair"  
  
She arched a perfectly manicured eyebrow and smirked at him "Well to coin a phrase, 'you look like a complete poofter'"  
  
He couldn't help but laugh at that, her American accent making the slang sound strange. "Okay then pet wha' d'ya propose we do, bleach?"  
  
She regarded him critically. "Umm. I was think more, Spikey, no pun intended, maybe a few highlights"  
  
"Highlights" he sounded appalled. "No bloody way!"  
  
"Please Spike, I'll do it for you. I'm good I promise. Please" she pushed out her full lower lip and fluttered her eyelashes.  
  
Spike felt himself weakening, she pouted at him again "Please" she whined.  
  
"Okay Nibblet." He stroked her glossy hair "Never could say no to a beautiful woman"  
  
She clapped and bounced in her seat, the action endearingly childlike. "Yay! Thanks Spike"  
  
Buffy turned away from the scene, tears pricking her eyes. How had this happened? It was her he loved. She'd been his everything. He'd only looked after Dawn for her sake. She'd been so sure of it at the time, so certain that the affection he showed her sister had been an act put on for her benefit. "Self-involved much?" She muttered to herself.  
  
Of course he had always loved Dawn, he'd been like a big brother to her, but Dawn wasn't a child anymore. He'd said it himself she was a beautiful woman, and Spike was a man, a man with no memory of the gangly teenager she used to be.  
  
Stop it Buffy, she commanded herself, it's not like that. But then again Dawn had always had a crush on Spike, if he showed and interest maybe she would. Stop it, stop it, stop it! You have Richard now; you have your normal life. She sat down on the stairs, head buried in her hands. How hollow it all seemed now, she was living this life for him, but he was here and he didn't care how she lived.  
  
Her life rang hollow and fake in her mind, nice normal Richard so boring and pedestrian compared to the vampire upstairs. Upstairs with her sister, jealousy gripped her again, tightening painfully around her heart. But it wasn't about Dawn, it was about Spike, and he didn't want her anymore. All she had left were memories of an old life he didn't remember and thoughts of a new life she'd never wanted.  
  
She curled up against the banister and cried, silent tears flowing freely down her pretty face.  
  
..........  
  
A/N I like reviews they make me warm and fuzzy inside. Posting on FF.net has left me decidedly chilly. So if you are reading let me know what you think. I'm not the begging kind so I'll just give you all a pouty please 


	16. A sort of progress

"Buffy?" Richard's sounded strange, tense, when Buffy answered the phone.  
  
Buffy slapped herself on the forehead, "Oh God Richard, I am so sorry, I meant to call but everything's just gone crazy around here"  
  
"Problems with your new house guest?" he asked his tone bitter.  
  
"How... how did you know about...?" Buffy began flustered by the obvious accusation in her fiancée's voice. "Yeah, he's an old friend and he's kinda in trouble, so we took him in. It's not for long, just till he gets himself sorted out"  
  
"If I recall correctly, it was his assertion that the two of you where in no way friends" Buffy tensed, God he sounded so much like a lawyer she felt as if she where on trial.  
  
"Well he's really more Dawn's friend than mine" she replied desperately trying to keep her voice casual despite the swarm of butterflies in her belly. "He was like a big brother to her back in Sunnydale"  
  
"Oh I see" he retorted angrily "another Sunnydale friend you never told me about"  
  
"Richard" she tried to calm him "there's really nothing to tell. He and I weren't that close, he's just a friend of Dawn's"  
  
"I see" he paused, in the silence Buffy could hear her own heart thundering in her chest. "So why's he in your bedroom"  
  
Righteous anger boiled in the Slayer's mind "Have you been spying on me?" she asked outraged.  
  
"Forget it Buffy" he spat angrily, "you know where I am. If you can find a minute to talk"  
  
Buffy listened to the dial tone for several seconds before finally replacing the receiver in its cradle. Sighing deeply she ran a shaky hand through her hair and turned around. "Aahhh!!!" she cried loudly jumping back.  
  
"Jesus Spike!" she chided him, her hand going to her rapidly beating heart, "you scared the shit outta me"  
  
He gave an amused chuckle and leaned heavily against the counter, "Trouble in paradise?" he asked blandly, angling his head slightly towards the phone. She sighed taking a seat across from him.  
  
"You could say that. It seems nice normal fiancée and crazy Slayer life are definitely non-mixy things"  
  
"That prat is your fiancée?" he asked scathingly, "I knew you had piss poor taste in men Slayer, but hell, even Angelus had style"  
  
Buffy shrugged, "he's nice, very reliable".  
  
Spike frowned, was that the extent of her defence of her future husband? "Reliable?" he asked raising a scarred eyebrow, "I think I'll interpret that as 'boring'?  
  
She narrowed her eyes at him. "You interpret it however you like" she replied haughtily. "It's not like you care who I date" was that bitterness in the Slayer's tone?  
  
"Too bloody right I don't" he replied defensively. He didn't care, really, why would he? But somehow the suit didn't seem good enough for her.  
  
"Right then" she replied stiffly.  
  
"Right" he replied, why the hell was this suddenly so bloody awkward? He had come down stairs out of sheer boredom, teasing the Slayer about her sorry excuse for a love life was supposed to be more fun than this. But oh fuck was she? Where there tears in her eyes?  
  
Don't you dare cry Slayer, he pleaded mentally, don't you bloody cry. Oh shit she was, big luminous eyes filling with tears, lower lip trembling slightly as she fought back tears. He froze, his mind replaying a similar scene, at night on the Slayers back porch in Sunnydale.  
  
"Don't do that." He tried to order, but it game out more of a plea, "Come on Slayer, don't you dare cry."  
  
"I'm sorry" she shouldn't have tried to speak, she lost her control and fat tears began to roll down her flushed cheeks.  
  
Spike looked around the kitchen desperately, as if hoping to find that help had magically appeared. He looked back at the Slayer, her head buried in her hands, quiet sobs sending tremors through her slight frame. Just leave her, she'd be ok, she's a bloody Slayer, stupid bint deserves to cry. Say something cruel. Rub it in.  
  
"Come on pet, buggers not worth it" his voice was gentle and pleading. She looked up at him with huge wet eyes, God she was beautiful. Shit no, what was he thinking, get out Spike, this is all bloody wrong. "Don't cry love" he gently touched her shoulder, feeling her warm body move instinctively in to the touch.  
  
"I'm sorry" she mindlessly apologised again. "Everything's just upside down, with Marcus and the Slayers, and your back and I can't even think straight. I never believed..." she moved closer, her eyes searching his as his hand slid gently down to her elbow.  
  
"I mean, I made wishes sure, but I never let myself really hope." She was so close now that had he needed to breathe they would have been sharing the same air. Instinctively his hand came to rest on her hip, feeling her intoxicating warmth spreading through his fingers. Closer still, till only a thin layer of charged air separated their bodies, "Spike" she whispered softly, a plea and an invitation.  
  
He was drowning, he could feel himself slipping under, she smelt of jasmine and her hand had come to rest lightly on his chest, hot little fingers branding his cold skin, her green eyes filled with hope.  
  
"Slayer" he responded, his body tingled with desire. She was so close. His eyes drifted to her lips, parted and pouting. He tilted his head, his eyes locked on hers again, moving closer so slowly, just inches more and his lips would be on hers.  
  
"Bloody hell" he shouted, his voice loud and harsh as it shattered the silence of the house. He shoved her back roughly, wincing as his wounds punished the action.  
  
She held his eyes over the feet that now separated them, both panting, frustrated and confused. "Sod this" he spat angrily before hobbling unsteadily from the room.  
  
............  
  
"Hey there Buffster" Xander's cheerful voice penetrated the Slayers dazed mind, how long had she been sitting there, she wondered, too stunned to move. "How was your day at home with the recently evil again undead?" he asked light-heartedly  
  
"Hey Xan" she greeted, a wan smile tugging her lips.  
  
"Ready to make some progress with the big bad?"  
  
Buffy jumped guiltily, how could he know... oh of course Marcus. She shook herself, clearing her thoughts, "Way to go with the positive thinking Xan, given our spectacular lack of anything even resembling progress" Buffy could feel herself relaxing in to the gentle banter, Xander's familiar companionship slowly easing her tense mind.  
  
"The way I see it, there's only so much failure we can manage, before success becomes inevitable." He gave her a cheeky grin that lightened her sagging spirit, "Plus" he continued seriously, "I have with me the secret to achieving research success" with a flourish he produced a box of donuts, like a magician producing a rabbit from a hat.  
  
Buffy couldn't help but laugh, God how had she lived so long without him in her life, "I love you Xan" she told him spontaneously, revelling in the simplicity of their relationship.  
  
He gave her a soft sincere smile, "Love you too, Buff"  
  
.......  
  
"So you say he has a psychic working for him?" Giles asked, later that evening when the group gathered together.  
  
Spike sate next to a concerned Dawn who, fussed and fluttered around him, until he had slapped her lightly over the back of the head and told her to "Quit your bloody clucking woman"  
  
"Yeah" he answered, wincing slightly as he adjusted his aching body in the chair. "Regular Dru clone, going on about fine wine and Slayer tears. Marcus seemed to put a lot of faith in it though. Oh yeah Beatrice. Bint's name was Beatrice"  
  
"Ooh!" Willow cut in excitedly. "I have a Beatrice" she consulted her screen. "Definitely a Dru clone, vampire, powerful seer, kinda crazy" she gave Spike an apologetic smile. He shrugged dismissively, nodding for her to continue. "It seems she's his vampire sire and his biological sister, and eww"  
  
"What" asked Xander looking over her shoulder, "Wow, she's hot" he commented catching Spike's eye. The two shared a purely masculine moment of concordance, that wasn't lost on Buffy, where she stood by the mantle casting surreptitious glances at the vampire.  
  
"She's also twisted" Willow continued. "She and Marcus where lovers before they where turned. Quite the scandal apparently ruined the whole family."  
  
"Ewww!" Buffy seconded the redhead sentiment  
  
"Is there anything else you can tell us?" Giles asked the vampire for what seemed like the thousandth time. "The Slayers are in position and are readying themselves for combat, but as yet we still have no idea what we will be facing.  
  
"Getting demon's working together" Spike's voice held a hint of awed appreciation. "That's a hell of a feet, I was surprised enough to see a Vaith working for a Vampire. But your Slayers say he's got Trex and Bedrog fighting together. The man must be one hell of an orator"  
  
"It does seem unlikely" Giles commented, "That even the most powerful of reasoning could inspire such an alliance."  
  
"Too bloody right" Spike agreed. "Bedrog ain't big on reason either, more your blood and mayhem kinda guys."  
  
Dawn's mind flashed back to her conversation with Willow yesterday, she addressed the witch. "Could it be some kind of mind control? A spell maybe"  
  
"A spell like that would be impossible to maintain over any length of time. Plus there's no way he could do it to that many demons, even if he had the power" She shook her head. "Besides, I really don't think a spell of that magnitude could go unnoticed"  
  
"Quite right" Giles added, "Also, many demons have natural defences against that kind of magical attack."  
  
Silence fell on the group once again. Buffy eyes again found the vampire, only to widen in surprise to find him staring straight at her. She blushed deeply and looked away.  
  
He was speaking, whispering something to Dawn. Buffy strained to hear him but could only make out the odd word. Dawn got up and fetched a pad and pencil for the desk in the study, handing in to Spike and settling herself down close to him. Buffy frowned, did she have to sit that close, give the guy some space Dawnie. Damn she was jealous again, stop it Buffy.  
  
She watched as his hand moved deftly over the pad guiding the pencil through long sweeping strokes, his eyes were down and she could watch him without reservation. Her mind wandered, to long nights in his crypt, his talented hands drawing patterns on her bare skin, she had been his canvas back then and his muse. She ached with regret as the memory played out, moving inexorably towards its conclusion, when she would through harsh uncaring words at him, word of denial and fear. She remembered the sick satisfaction she would get from watching his face as she delivered her perfectly designed barbs, hope and affection crumbling into hurt and desperation.  
  
She tore her eyes away from him as he looked up, placing the sketch in Giles' waiting hand. "Best I can remember that's Marcus"  
  
"Thank you" Giles didn't take his eyes off the image, "This is most..." he trailed off, his fingers tracing the image.  
  
"Giles?" Buffy asked, "Giles?" again louder when the watcher didn't respond.  
  
"Huh?" he asked looking at his one time charge.  
  
"Giles" her tone was exasperated. "What is it?"  
  
"I'm not sure it's just..." He paused again, his eyes on the image. "This around his neck, he was wearing this exact thing?" he asked the vampire urgently.  
  
"Yeah, pendant thing, like a big hunk of amber in the middle of a triangle." Spike replied gesturing to his own chest as if the amulet hung there. "Bit poncy, but then what d'ya expect from a bloody spic"  
  
"What is it Giles" Willow asked, moving to look over the watchers shoulder.  
  
"I'm not sure, but I've seen it somewhere before"  
  
...............  
  
A/N Thanks to RavensHaelo and Kathypg for taking the time to review I really appreciate it.  
  
If anyone else is reading, you could just leave a word or two to let me know what you think right? 


	17. A familiar dance

Spike had been studiously avoiding her since their encounter in the kitchen, he had thrown a few unpleasant remarks her way that morning before she left for work, but that was the extent of it. But he had almost kissed her, at least she thought he had, maybe she was completely misreading him.  
  
She sighed in frustration, glancing at the clock on her office wall, still hours to go before she could go home. Not that the thought of going home to watch Spike flirt with her sister was terribly appealing, plus she still hadn't called Richard.  
  
Richard. Funny how since Spike had come crashing back into her life she had been treating him more like an inconvenience than a fiancée. Spike, it all kept spinning round to him, every circle of thought her mind made returned inevitably to the vampire.  
  
She sighed, he hated her, even without the memories of what an unbelievable bitch she was, he hated her. God forbid he ever get his memories back.  
  
She sighed and picked up the phone, may as well check in with Dawn.  
  
"Ahh, hey stop that" her sisters voice came distantly across the line, as if she had her face turned away from the receiver. "Sorry, Hello" she spoke more clearly before giggling girlishly. "Don't touch it"  
  
"Dawn?" Buffy asked confused  
  
"Oh hey Buffy" her sister greet before letting out a squeal that had Buffy pulling the receiver away from her ear. "Spike stop it, ahhh" she squealed again before turning her attention back to her sister, still giggling. "Sorry Buffy, what did you want?"  
  
"I, er, what's going on?"  
  
"Oh, nothing we're just. Spike let go of me! Sorry we're just dying Spike's hair. Ahhh!" Buffy frowned as she listened to her sister laughing wildly.  
  
"Sorry pet, but you asked for it" Spike rich baritone sounded in the background.  
  
"It's ok Dawn," she told her sister, anxious to be off the phone. "I'll see you later"  
  
"'K Buffy, ack! Spike!" Buffy slammed the phone down, fighting back tears. God why did this hurt so much? She slumped back in her chair. Fine, if that's what they wanted, she loved them both enough to let them be.  
  
She rang her boss' office to ask for the rest of the day off, she had to go make up with Richard.  
  
........  
  
Richard hadn't believe a word she said, Buffy was almost certain of it. Still he had accepted her explanation of Spike's presence in her bedroom, she was of course bunking in with Dawn, as her sister had a larger bed, and Willow was in the spare room.  
  
She playfully chastised him for being a "silly, jealous man" and kissed his nose, until he smiled at her. They'd made plans to go out the following evening, dinner and a movie.  
  
It had been and exhausting pretence, and by the time the Slayer was walking up her street her body ached with tiredness and her head throbbed.  
  
A hundred yards from her house a soft scuffle caught her attention, spinning round she caught sight of twin sulphur fires in the darkness. Instinctively her hand groped for the stake she no longer carried in her sleeve. "Shit!" she cursed, was gonna have to start carrying weapons again.  
  
"Willow" she called in her mind, projecting her thoughts towards the house as the redhead had taught her. "I'm just down the street, I need weapons. There's a couple of swords in the closet"  
  
Hoping that her friend had heard her she turned to face her would be assailants. "Here I am," she challenged. "Come and get me"  
  
Eight pairs of glowing eyes appeared in the darkness "Slayer" she heard the moniker in her mind "My father pledged your death on our tribes honour. Now we come to fulfil that pledge"  
  
"Oh yeah" the Slayer retorted. "Well I made Sushi out of your father, really think you can do better?"  
  
She heard it's enraged growl ring through her mind just before the creature attacked and then she was fighting, punches, turns and kicks keeping her attackers away. "Come on Willow" she pleaded in her mind "Where are those weapons?"  
  
"Slayer, catch!" somehow she was unsurprised, he always showed up when she needed him, it was kinda his thing, she raised a hand above her head, attention still fixed on the demon in front of her, and felt the heavy handle of the sword fall into her palm.  
  
Cut, slash, kick, spin. She found herself back to back with the vampire, instinctively falling into rhythm with his movements.  
  
"You look better" she commented as they fought, not sparing him a glance.  
  
"Yeah I feel pretty good. Must be that healing potion Red keeps slipping in my blood" Spike replied as he decapitated one of the demons.  
  
"Yeah she's good isn't she? Duck" She threw her blade over the vampire's ducked head watching in satisfaction as it skewered an advancing demon.  
  
Spike cupped his hands in invitation. God, this felt so right, Buffy couldn't remember anything ever being so utterly, effortlessly right. She placed her foot in his cupped hands and he flipped her outside the circle of attackers to reclaim her sword.  
  
Spike marvelled at the understanding they shared, he may not remember fighting alongside her, but his body did. Every move was synchronised to hers, every thrust and parry calculated perfectly to complement her fighting style. He gave a joyful whoop of excitement and launched himself into the fray.  
  
The last demon, gurgle and spat blood as it fell to the ground, one clawed hand grasping hopelessly at its slit throat. He turned to the Slayer, a triumphant grin splitting his face. His grin faded when he saw her, flushed from the exertion of the fight and breathing hard. He move closer, breathing in her scent, sweat, overlaid with jasmine.  
  
She swallowed hard as he approached, frozen in place by the intensity of his gaze. "Hell of a fight Slayer" he commented. God could the man make any collection of word sound provocative?  
  
"Uh huh" she affirmed ineloquently, he was in her personal space now and she was having trouble forming coherent thought.  
  
She was beautiful like this, there was no denying it, adrenaline still pumping in her veins heart pounding loudly, a sudden need to touch her overtook him and he brought his hand up to gently wipe a splash of demon blood from her warm cheek.  
  
"Seems you and me make quite the team" he tilted his head, and she almost whimpered at the familiarity of the gesture. "Surprised I could forget a dance like that"  
  
She didn't speak, couldn't have formed words, even if she had something to say. Instead she nodded mutely moving closer, her own hand coming up to hover just inches from the black cotton covering his chest.  
  
"Oh thank God" Willows voice had them both jumping guiltily away.  
  
"Buffy, are you guys ok?" Dawn's breathless question made Buffy look at the floor. Had she been about to get up close and personal with her baby sisters boyfriend?  
  
"We're fine little bit" Spike answered for her when the silence threaten to become awkward. "Nothing like a bit a rough 'n' tumble, hey Slayer?"  
  
Buffy looked up at him, panic written on her face. She scowled at his amused smirk, God he was playing with her, asshole, right in front of Dawn.  
  
"You're hurt?" Dawn was inspecting the shallow cut on her left arm. "Come on lets get back to the house and clean you up"  
  
She liked his hair she decided as they trudged back to the house, Dawn had done a good job, the long unruly curls had been tamed into shorter spikes, blond highlights making his natural colour look darker by contrast. It wasn't quite the bleached bad boy look she was used to but it was closer too it.  
  
Dawn walked ahead with Willow, leaving her trailing behind with Spike, the pair casting nervous glances at one another. He turned to her a couple of time as if to ask her something, before shaking his head and looking away.  
  
.........  
  
"It's called The Eye of Remeunatishka" Giles informed them later that evening. "It is the talisman on an ancient Ukrainian cult of demons that were wiped out in the twelve century. The eye disappeared with them had has not been heard of since"  
  
"Until now." Buffy sighed, leaning against the mantle, she was so tired, she felt old, maybe she was too old for this. Slayers are young for a reason, she figured, rotating her stiff shoulder. "So" she continued "do we now what this eye of rheumatism does?"  
  
"Remeunatishka. Well no, not exactly." Giles removed his glasses, polishing the lenses briskly, before replacing them and studying his notes. "Some texts describe the Eye as 'the giver of power' others as 'the path of energy"  
  
"Sound's like that's how he's controlling his demons then" Spike affirmed, picking at his newly blackened nails. Another part of the Dawn make over Buffy thought ruefully.  
  
"It would seem so yes" Giles agreed, "However there are many references to the Eye being 'without power of it's own' or 'dead in it's solitude' I'm afraid the language is very old, and some of my translations are not entirely clear."  
  
"Maybe it's a conduit." Willow offered earning bemused looks from all but Giles.  
  
"A conduit to other power source. It has no power in itself, but it can be used to access power from another source" she explained.  
  
"That's a possibility," Giles sounded excited "Marcus could be using the Eye to channel some greater power"  
  
"Fantastic" Xander cut in rubbing his good eye in frustration "Which leads us right back to 'we don't know what he's up to'"  
  
"Not exactly" Willow corrected. "There are only a certain number of power sources that could be channelled by the eye, and only some of them could be used for mind control. We have something to work with now."  
  
"Yippee" Dawn chimed "Grab those ancient texts its research time" her enthusiasm earned sceptical looks from her sister and the vampire beside her. She smile sheepishly "it's been a while since we hit the books, I kinda missed it"  
  
Buffy raised her eyebrows and gave Dawn an amused look, then the amusement fell from her face. "But I'm not really research girl" she told Giles, desperate to avoid the dusty tomes Willow and Dawn were eagerly producing. "Maybe I should patrol, see if there are anymore of those assassin demons lurking about"  
  
"Buffy" Giles sounded concerned "These demons seem to be here with the express purpose of harming you. I don't think its wise to go out alone"  
  
"I'll go" Spike offered standing up. "Don't fancy wading through one of those" he angled his head towards the table. "Maybe me and the Slayer can dig up some info from the demon world"  
  
Buffy flushed awkwardly, glancing nervously at her sister who seemed extremely pleased with the suggestion. "Ooh good idea. You two go out and patrol together, it'll be like the good old times" she grinned sheepishly at their twin looks of incredulity. "Except of course you wouldn't remember, and times where not always good, but still" She gave them both and encouraging smile "off you go"  
  
......  
  
They had been strolling around town for nearly two hours, passing only the occasional comment. Well at least we're not fighting Buffy thought, that's something.  
  
"Well Slayer" Spike's bored voice drew her attention. "I think we can safely say you picked the most boring town in America. No demons to fight, not even a bloody fledgling to have a go at."  
  
"That was kinda the point Spike." She explained. "I'm retired, I don't want to find demons round every corner"  
  
He stopped, turning to look at her, his head tilted to the side, eyes appraising. "Come on Slayer" he prodded. "You must be bored out of that tiny mind of yours. Playing at being a normal girl. Don't tell me you don't miss it, the hunt, the kill"  
  
"I don't" she replied firmly. "I have everything I ever wanted. A nice normal life away from fighting and demons and apocalypses, is that a word, can you have more than one apocalypse"  
  
He smirked at her "Bollocks" he stated adamantly.  
  
She met his challenging stare for a moment, before sighing and conceding, "Ok maybe a little, I used to come out some nights looking for something to stake. I keep trying to tell myself that life is good, but when I'm not fighting I just feel like I have no purpose. And why am I telling you this?"  
  
"It's because you're a Slayer, a creature of darkness." He told her "You're just wired that way is all, you shouldn't fight it. And if your sugar daddy can't take it, well..." He stepped back spreading his arms a little "maybe you need a real man"  
  
Shit was he flirting? His tone was certainly suggestive, drawing her in to their old dancing patterns. She couldn't help it the retort was past her lips before she had time to think. "Maybe I do," She purred moving closer "Spike?" she asked, just inches away from him, she saw his eyes darken and almost crowed with satisfaction. "If you see one let me know wont you?"  
  
With that she turned away from him, hips swinging as she went. "Bloody women" she heard him mutter as he trotted to catch her up. She smirked triumphantly at him. Waiting for the inevitable rejoinder when a shrill scream pierced the night air.  
  
He was running before she was, reacting instinctively to the cry for help. She caught up with him on the far side of the park, she watched as he threw a young man across grass, advancing on him with smooth predatory strides. Behind him a girl of similar age pulled her tattered blouse closed and curling up into a defensive ball.  
  
It took Buffy a moment to register that her attacker was human, and that Spike now had the helpless boy dangling by the throat. Oh God, Buffy realised, frozen to spot, he's going to kill him.  
  
Spike shifted into game face and growled at the boy, who whimpered pathetically in response. He was aware of the Slayer behind him, her eyes riveted to the scene. He could kill the boy before she got to them, snap his neck one handed, he thrilled at the thought, he hadn't killed a human since his resurrection, and it was time to put that right. But she wouldn't like it, he hesitated, in his mind he saw her face saddened with disappointment, luminous eyes filled with tears.  
  
"Get out of here" he growled, throwing the youth to the floor.  
  
.................  
  
A/N I'm an idiot a big fluff brained idiot. Here I am asking for reviews but at the same time I've got "Do not accept anonymous reviews" option ticked.  
  
That's sorted out so now all you people who where dying to review can do just that. Please, I mean a little review, tell me what you think. That's not too much to ask is it?  
  
Thanks to Stacy75 for being cool with my taboo.  
  
Anyone who reviews gets a sloppy kiss and a slice of chocolate cake (virtual) 


	18. A realisation

Spike was dreaming, in his dream she had come to him again, that faceless golden woman. They fought across the dreamscape of his mind, sometimes side by side, sometimes with each other. The dream changed, sounds of passion filling his subconscious mind, a breathy female voice chanting his name in ecstasy, his dream self open his eyes to look down at her, blond hair obscuring her face.  
  
He leant forward burying his head in her neck and breathed her heady scent, sweat overlaid with vanilla, feminine and powerful. She flipped them over so she could ride him, powerful muscles contracting around him, bring them both to a shuddering climax. She slumped forward, her hair falling over his face, the scent of her filling his sex addled senses.  
  
He took a deep satisfied breath, sweat overlaid with jasmine.  
  
"Ahh!" he came awake with a startled cry, grasping the memory of his dream tightly. He shook his head, it couldn't be. But the scent was the same, youthful vanilla replaced with sophisticated jasmine, but the scent beneath, the essence beneath the same.  
  
The golden goddess of his dreams. Buffy.  
  
He cursed his fractured mind, where did dreams and memories mesh? What was fantasy and what reality? Had they truly been lovers, it would explain a lot, the way she acted, the strange intense looks she gave him, when she thought he wasn't watching her. The undeniable call of her body to his.  
  
He lay back, breathing in the now familiar smell of her sheets. A glance at the clock told him it was just past four, sunset was hours away yet, but he was certain he wouldn't sleep again that day.  
  
Wandering barefoot through the house he found Dawn lying face down on the living room floor, her head propped up on her hands, an obviously ancient book opened in front of her. She looked up when he entered, greeting him with a friendly "Hi Spike"  
  
He didn't acknowledge her greeting, just stared at her until she became nervous, "Gee Spike. You're kinda freaking me out. What's up?"  
  
"I want the truth Dawn" he told her, voice low and stern.  
  
"Ummm, the truth about what?" she asked nervously, refusing to meet his eyes.  
  
"You know about what," he snapped impatiently "About everything, about Buffy"  
  
"What?" she squeaked, before readjusting the tone of her voice "I mean, what makes you think there's anything to tell?"  
  
He looked at her, his... his friend he supposed, if she was to make him her confident, he would have to do the same for her. "I..." he began uncertainly. "I knew you from the start, knew I cared about you, would risk my life for you."  
  
He glanced at her before continuing, "but whatever I feel for you, it's not enough to make me wanna change. Not enough to make me wanna be, I don't know, better"  
  
She nodded her understanding, his brotherly affection for her was not the life altering force his love for Buffy had been, it was gentler, easier, but also less intense.  
  
He took a deep breath, "But just recently, I have wanted to" he saw her confusion and clarified "Wanted to be better, for..." he trailed off, this was bollocks, he was insane. Him and the Slayer, they'd laugh their arses of if they knew what he was thinking.  
  
"For Buffy" she completed, not a question, just a soft confirmation.  
  
He looked up sharply, suspicion evident on his face, "Yeah" he agreed, "So I figure there's a hell of a lot more to the little tale you lot spun me, am I right?"  
  
Dawn sighed, Buffy had been adamant that Spike should not be told about their relationship, but somehow it seem unjust to keep him in the dark, especially if he was beginning to suspect.  
  
"Even if I knew the whole of it, it's not my story to tell," she told him gently, but firmly "You'll have to talk to Buffy"  
  
"But there is a story to tell?" he asked nervously. "Something about me and the Slayer, something that explains, what the hell I was doing saving the bloody world"  
  
"Yes" Dawn answered simply. "You and Buffy, it was complicated, and I don't even know the half of it, but yes, there's a story"  
  
................  
  
"So, what do you think?" Richard asked, pouring her another glass of Merlot.  
  
Buffy frowned, what had he been talking about, probably something to do with the wedding, damn, she should've been paying attention. He was suspicious enough already. "Oh definitely" she ventured hopefully.  
  
He frowned. "Definitely red, or definitely blue?" he asked a strange tone of tired acceptance creeping into his voice.  
  
"Blue!" she affirmed, her mind supplying an image of Spike's cerulean eyes. "I like blue"  
  
"Blue it is then." He took a sip of wine and watched her face. "Buffy" he began, his voice sad and serious, "if there's anything wrong, anything that's bothering you, please tell me. Is it the wedding? If it's too soon for you we can postpone. I don't want you to feel pressured"  
  
"What? No of course not. No pressure here. I am pressure free Buffy" God she was a terrible liar, he had always found it comforting, that she lied so badly, knowing she would never be able to hide anything from him. But now, it hurt, hurt to be lied to and not know why. Hurt to be played by the only woman who had ever really captured his heart.  
  
"Buffy" he tried again. "Please, I want you to be happy, I love you"  
  
She smiled a broad plastic smile that set his teeth on edge. "I know, and I am happy trust me"  
  
He looked down 'I know', it was the best he had ever received from Buffy, of course he had always wanted to hear his sentiments returned, but before now it hadn't hurt so God damn much.  
  
He looked at her again, she was prattling about work, covering her deceit with mindless babble. Did she really think he would be so easily fooled?  
  
............  
  
He dropped her off at her house, leaning in for a kiss that caught her cheek rather then her lips as she turned her face away. "Night" she whispered softy before getting out of the car and walking towards the house. He watched her go sighing deeply as he pulled away from the curb.  
  
"Well, well, well" his thickly accented voice sounded from the darkness to her left, causing her to jump, nervousness and anticipation sending her pounding heart into overdrive. "So how was your date Slayer? Nice posh dinner in some swanky restaurant with you loaded boyfriend?"  
  
"What do you care Spike?" she spat. "I don't have time for this, I'm tired and I'm going to bed" with that she turned back towards the house, only to cut off when the vampire positioned himself in her path.  
  
"Ah, ah, ah! Not so fast" he purred, his voice flowing like honey through night air. "You and me are gonna have a little chat first."  
  
"Get out of my way Spike" She ordered straightening up.  
  
"Don't think so Slayer" he titled his head and let his voice drop to seductive rumble, "It seems that you haven't been completely honest about the last few years. Had myself a little chat with the Nibblet, seems there's a thing or two you shoulda told me" "Dawn" she exclaimed angrily. "What did she say? I'll kill her"  
  
"Now now Slayer, Dawn didn't have anything to say I wasn't beginning to work out on my own. You think I don't know what you're thinking when I get close to you? You think I can't feel it?"  
  
She pursed her lips and tried to pass him. "Get out of my way" she told him again. He was mocking her, using her feelings for him to hurt her, she had to get away, she couldn't stand it.  
  
"Make me," he challenged, his tongue stroking the back of his teeth, for a moment her eyes followed its progress, before she snapped out of it.  
  
"Fine" she hit him hard in the nose sending him stumbling back towards the house.  
  
He laughed, straightening up and fixing her with a knowing a stare. "Now is that anyway to treat and old." He paused for effect, letting her stew "boyfriend?"  
  
Her eyes met his sharply, denial pouring from her lips. "If Dawn told you that she's crazy," she retorted indignantly.  
  
"Oh so I'm wrong?" he asked his voice excessively innocent. "You don't want me, your heart doesn't beat ten to the dozen whenever I get close to you. You weren't feeling me up when I was in my weakened state"  
  
"You're a pig Spike" she spat, again trying to pass the vampire.  
  
"Yeah!" he replied laughter in his voice. "But you still want me"  
  
She punched him again, hard, tears spilling from her eyes, "what does it matter what I want?" she almost screamed, swinging wildly at him.  
  
He caught her arm and pushed against the side of the house, her body trapped firmly under his. She went limp in his arms, anger seeping away "You don't love me anymore"  
  
He looked at her, her teary green eyes bright in the moonlight, expression still defiant. Her hot body burned him, where he pressed against her igniting his own desire. "No" He drawled, letting his lips brush her ear, delighting in the shiver of excitement the action provoked. "I don't love you yet"  
  
With that he was gone disappearing into the blackness. Leaving the Slayer propped against the wall, her eyes wide with shock, her breath coming in laboured gasps  
  
...................  
  
A/N Yippee I have reviews now coming in from all those anonymous reviwer types. Maybe it's a good thing I didn't allow anonymous reviews earlier I'm sure I'd have been flamed about the S/D attempted rape.  
  
Anyways thanks to:  
  
Elle, wow I'm so honoured to have your first review. Thankyou  
  
Yvonne, glad you like, hope I can hold your interest as the plot thickens (  
  
Roz, Gave me a happy smile with your praise  
  
Hey RavensHaelo thanks for reviewing again, You know I agree I should have more reviews. Pouts and stamps her paw. Blah. Here are your kisses xxxxxxxxxx, I'll work on the cake  
  
Blade Redwind, Yeah I really like making Buffy do the work for once. What you don't like Richard, come on hes a nice guy maybe I'll let him have Buffy forever (Joking only)  
  
Aubrey Thanks for bothering to review, it gives thebear a happy grin  
  
Peta, wow in one sitting, I'm flattered to hold your attention that long. Poor Richard, his silly girlfriends having wrong thoughts about out favourite vamp and you people show no compassion ;) How could Spike not fall, its Buffy?  
  
Thanks to all that bothered to review  
  
Growly kisses from TheBear 


	19. A step back

"Ah ha" Giles exclaimed, waking the dozing Xander with a start  
  
"What? I'm up" The young man bluffed blinking furiously.  
  
Giles didn't spare the outburst any attention, "I think I've found it" he informed him, "the power source that Marcus is channelling with the amulet"  
  
"Great, what is it? Does this mean I can stop reading now?" he asked glancing down at the dusty tome that had moments ago been his pillow.  
  
"Indeed" Giles replied dryly "call Buffy I'll get the car"  
  
"Okay, but it is three am, maybe we should take this to Buffy tomorrow" the young man suggested before giving the watcher a noisy yawn he didn't bother to cover with his hand.  
  
Giles frowned at him disapprovingly but agreed as if suddenly realising the time, "quite, er, maybe you should go and get some sleep too. We'll meet with Buffy and the others tomorrow."  
  
"Okey dokey" Xander rose to leave, the call of his bed in the next room tugging at his tired body, but concern stopped him and he turned a questioning look on the watcher. "About Buffy" he began tentatively "How do you think she's doing? With Spike being back and all." He shook his head "She's acting like it's no big. I mean not that I want her falling into the evil un-dead's arms, but I don't know, I thought she'd do something ya know?"  
  
"She certainly seem to be taking his return very well" He polished his glasses. "I suppose she has Richard now and her life here. Perhaps with Spikes amnesia she sees this as an opportunity too put that part of her past behind her"  
  
"Yeah, I guess." Xander looked unconvinced. "I just keep thinking about what Dawn said, remember about her 'owing' it to Spike to live her normal life. I was kinda buying it, but now the guys back and she's carrying on just the same. Seems kinda weird"  
  
Giles felt the currents of truth in Xander's words and swam hard against them. "Well it's entirely possible that Dawn was mistaken, she has always had something of a soft spot for Spike. You must also remember that the Spike that has returned to us is not the same creature that sacrificed himself in the Hellmouth." He paused fixing Xander with a pointed look "He has no soul"  
  
....................  
  
Buffy stared accusingly at her desk tidy, wondering if she really needed so many pencils. Her phone rang loudly in the quite office, causing her to jump, heart pounding furiously in her chest.  
  
She gave the phone a suspicious look before answering it. "Buffy Summers" she greeted formally.  
  
"Buffy. It's Giles" her watchers voice came across the line, clear and authoritative. "I have some news on the current situation. What time can we meet?"  
  
Buffy ran a mental checklist over the group "I'm home by six, and Willow said she'd be over by half past." She informed him "Spike'll be there with Dawn, she seems to have given up on lectures all together, since he came back" bitterness tinged her voice making the words come out harsh and clipped even in her own ears.  
  
"Quite" the watcher agreed concern over her out burst evident in his gentle voice. "I'll see you all at half past six then. Goodbye"  
  
"Bye Giles"  
  
Buffy hung up the phone and returned to contemplating her desk tidy, if she got the angle right she could stake Spike with one of those pencils. That'd wipe the arrogant self-satisfied grin of his face. Teach him to mess with her head.  
  
After their intense encounter last night he hadn't said a word to her. He'd come back to the house an hour later, fresh pack of cigarettes in hand and brushed past her without even acknowledging her presences before settling down on the Sofa with Dawn under his arm to watch Late Night Poker.  
  
She'd lingered in the kitchen listening to their easy banter over betting tactics and cheating, the counter had suffered further damage when her grip had tightened on it splintering the edging. Xander wouldn't be able to fix it now, she'd have to buy a new one, and that was Spikes fault too, stupid infuriating vampire.  
  
Maybe she should stake him, he was clearly messing with Dawn's feelings too, all lovey dovey one minute, coming on to her the next. Maybe he thought it'd be funny, play the two of them off each other, until one of them broke. Stupid evil bastard.  
  
.......................  
  
"She burns my eyes!" Beatrice spat angrily, gleaming golden eyes fixed angrily on her brother. "Too bright she is, burning my eyes to ashes in my head" she clawed maniacally at her face, long nails scratching the skin.  
  
"Sshhhh" he crooned gently, pulling her hands away. "Your eyes are fine my love, beautiful as ever"  
  
She calmed, looking at him with dark human eyes, filled with fear. "Turn off the light, it's too bright. Turn off the light"  
  
"I will my love" he assured her, hands rubbing comforting circles on the naked skin of her back "I will. You need to rest, shall I have Solomon bring a boy for you?" he asked  
  
She looked at him coyly, her mood switching instantly to childlike excitement. "Ooh yes, a boy" she clapped her hands. "Young and soft and golden"  
  
He gave her an indulgent smile. "I have just the thing" he told her stroking her glossy hair. He stood from the bed and dressed gracefully. "I'll send him right away, and I'll deal with the Slayer, you don't have to worry about a thing my sweet". He leant down to kiss her forehead, "you just stay here and, er, play, with your food" he chuckled at his own joke and walked to the door.  
  
He looked back before leaving, she was lying naked on the bed, arms thrown wide, eyes closed, a look of contentment on her face. Such faith in him she had, his beautiful mysterious sister, and he would not fail her. The slayer would die, just as she wished it, and then he would gift her the world as a plaything.  
  
......................  
  
"So" Buffy asked briskly as soon as they where all assembled in the living room. "Let's get on with it, the sooner I kick Marcus' butt the sooner I can get my life back." She cast Spike a nasty look "We're on a schedule guys I'm getting married in forty eight days"  
  
"Chop chop then watcher, wouldn't wanna keep the blushing bride waiting." Spike exclaimed with faux brightness, he returned her look with an equally unpleasant sneer "Tell me Slayer, you getting married in white?"  
  
She narrowed her eyes at him, anger boiling in her veins at the insinuation in his voice. "Don't you even..." she began ready to unleash the full force of her pent up her anger on the vampire.  
  
"Buffy please!" Giles interrupted her before she could continue, out of the corner of her eye she saw Dawn roll her eyes and give an exasperated sigh.  
  
"As I was about to say" he spoke firmly giving both the Slayer and the vampire stern reproving looks. "I think I have discovered what power source Marcus is harnessing"  
  
He took a deep breath and scanned the room as if to ensure he had everyone's full attention. "I believe he his channelling the power of the ancient demon god know as Velmorick." He glanced at their faces, excellent now he had their attention. "Velmorick was worshipped as a god of leadership or of battle. It was said that Velmorick himself commanded an army so great and powerful it laid waste to half the demon world." He paused. "This was of course long before humans inhabited the earth"  
  
Another pause with no interruptions, perhaps his surrogate children where finally developing something resembling an adult attention span. "It was believed that when Velmorick departed this dimension he left behind some of his power contained in and effigy of the god himself"  
  
"Do we know where this effigy is?" Willow asked.  
  
"Um yes, this is partly my reason for believing that it is indeed Velmorick's power that Marcus is using." He glanced at his notes. "There is said to be a shrine to the god housed in an underground temple in Cleveland. The exact location is not known, but given the information Spike has given us on Marcus' location and the coincidence of the Hellmouth being so near..." He trailed off, no further explanation necessary.  
  
"Great so what? Have Faith look for the temple?" Buffy asked keeping her eyes fixed firmly on Giles.  
  
"Passing the buck are we Slayer?" Spike accented drawl drew her unwilling eyes to his face. "Gonna send a sidekick instead of facing the big bad, and here I thought you where a hero" his tone was mocking, holding a hint of challenge, she would not be drawn. She knew him too well to not realise when he was baiting her, looking for a reaction. She would not be drawn.  
  
"And I thought you where helping" damn she wasn't supposed to be drawn "So far though, more of a hindrance, what with all the saving you I've had to do "  
  
He gave her a sugar coated smile, "Now now Slayer, no need to for that. Everyone'll understand if you don't wanna upset your wedding plans, wouldn't want to give your sugar daddy time to realise what a bitch you are and call the whole thing off"  
  
"Guys" Dawn tried vainly to interrupt their squabble.  
  
"Okay that's it" Buffy spat, flicking her hair over her shoulder "Outside, I'm gonna do what I shoulda done the moment you showed up here" a stake appeared magically in her hand, she knew she was right to start carrying weapons again.  
  
"Don't flatter yourself Slayer, you wouldn't stand a chance" Spike rose gracefully from chair. "But if you really wanna dance" he opened his arms in invitation, head gesturing to the door behind him.  
  
"Buffy" Giles' pedagogic reprimand went unheeded as Buffy barrelled headlong into Spike, sending the pair through the kitchen and out onto the back porch.  
  
Willow rose as if to follow, but Dawn's resigned voice stopped her. "I think we should let them work out their issues" she told the group with a defeated sigh "Besides for them, I think this is kinda like progress"  
  
...............  
  
A/N Thanks to Stacy75, of course Spike is sexy, he's sexy sex on sexy leg that's what he is, and Aubrey, flattered to make your favourites here's an update. For reviewing gives TheBear a happy.  
  
I just began getting the DVD collection, bought season one yesterday and watched welcome to the hellmouth. Couldn't believe how much the fight scenes have improved since then and SMG used to hold her fists most strangely. 


	20. A little bit of history repeating

"You don't think maybe we should go look for them?" Willow asked nervously glancing at the door, "I mean it's been over an hour, what if they've killed each other"  
  
"They won't kill each other" Dawn assured her not looking up from the text she was studying "Besides you really don't want to get in the middle of this"  
  
"I guess not," the redhead conceded.  
  
"Not fair though" Xander whined, "they're getting out of researching again. I'm beginning to think they're in it together, like a conspiracy"  
  
"I'm sure Buffy and Spike will be back shortly" Giles cut in "In the mean time we have plenty to do researching Velmorick"  
  
With a collective sigh the group returned to the onerous task of trawling through the ancient tomes spread out on the living room floor.  
  
.................................................  
  
"The stars are shifting" Beatrice informed him in a conspiratorial whisper, "taking their partners for the dance"  
  
"Not long now then?" he asked keeping his eyes on hers, as if by holding her gaze he could hold her clarity long enough to find out what he needed to know"  
  
"Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset" she spun away from him arms outstretched, her voice singsong "sunrise, sunset, sunrise" she paused locking eyes with him across the room sanity, cold and ruthless settling over her. "Sunset"  
  
"Three days?" he asked, looking for confirmation while her mind was focused.  
  
"Three days" she confirmed certainly, before tilting her head to the side eyes locked somewhere in middle distance, "And the Slayer's coming to the party, but will she bring a partner? Can't dance without a partner"  
  
"I have a group ready to take out the Slayer, Solomon will lead them himself" Marcus told her, his first lieutenant was almost ready to leave, no mistakes this time, he was sending his very best people to finish off this infuriating girl.  
  
"She is coming to the party," Beatrice told him haughtily, "She has a new dress and jewels on her shoes, no one will stop her coming"  
  
Marcus thought for a moment, his gaze lingering on her all seeing eyes, "You" he barked startling the minions standing guard at his sisters door. "Go to Solomon, tell him the mission is cancelled. He is return to me for orders"  
  
.......................................................  
  
She wasn't even tired, they had been fighting for over an hour, a cat and mouse battle that had covered a fair portion of the small town, eventually leading them to unsurprisingly enough, the cemetery. She wasn't tired at all, her body thrummed with life, she felt exhilarated, free, this was what she had been created for, this violently beautiful dance.  
  
A well-placed back kick sent him slamming face first into the wall of an ostentatious crypt, shattering the stone carvings that adorned it. "Come on Spikey" she taunted gleefully when he was slow to rise to his feet. "I thought we were gonna dance"  
  
He pulled himself up and turned to face her, a chuckle coming out as a gurgle of blood in his mouth, he spat before turning an amused smirk on her. "Enjoying yourself Slayer?  
  
She frowned, "I don't know what you're talking about" she denied hotly  
  
"Yes you do" he insisted, his voice dropping to a provocative drawl as he moved closer  
  
She straightened her back giving him a haughty look. "I'm not in the mood for games Spike." She told him planting her hands on her slim hips. "If you wanna fight lets fight, just try and keep your mouth shut for more than ten seconds, give us both a break"  
  
He smirked lashing out quickly, a hard jab that snapped her head back and sent her stumbling. "Come on Slayer, I know you feel it" he challenged "the thrill, the power, does it make you hot?"  
  
"That may be your thing Spike, but it's not mine" she told him cracking his ribs with a roundhouse kick.  
  
"Really?" he asked before attacking with a barrage of punches that had her retreating, a series of clever blocks eventually giving her the upper hand and she sent him tumbling back with a powerful shove.  
  
"Really" she affirmed, following him down, her hands pinning his above his head straddling his hips to keep him in place.  
  
They stopped like that, suddenly both aware of the intimacy of the position. Buffy gasped, it was so familiar, the feel of him beneath her, the sound of their harsh breathing in the still night air, he was looking at her with confusion in his lust filled eyes. Say something Buffy, she ordered herself, or better still get off him. But she didn't, couldn't, she stayed frozen in place by the intensity of his azure eyes.  
  
"Slayer" breathy and sensual, the moniker snapped her out off the her daze, Slayer, he always called her Slayer since he'd returned, never Buffy, not even pet or luv, all she was to him now was a Slayer, the enemy. This was all a game to him, bastard.  
  
Fear and pain flashed across her face, she began to move off him, ready to retreat. He felt her move away and panic overtook him, no, she mustn't get up and run, something told him that she had run from him too often, he had to make her stay.  
  
The sudden speed of his movements caught her by surprise, his hands shot out to grip her arms as he flipped them over with a swift jerk of his hips. He had her trapped beneath the weight of his body, he had her, now, what to do with her?  
  
Her eyes burned with defiance as she glared up at him. "Let me up Spike" she ordered, venom dripping from her ominously quite voice, he didn't react and she let her anger rise, "Damn it Spike, let me up or I swear..."  
  
He slammed his mouth down on to hers, silencing her with rough lips and teeth. There was no affection in it, just anger and confusion, lust and fear he kissed her as if he could break her growing hold on him by the ferocity of his kiss alone, he wanted to subdue her, to punish her spitfire soul for having the audacity to call to him.  
  
But she was not subdued, she renewed their battle, opening her mouth so that her tongue and teeth could clash violently with his, shit but she was intoxicating, he could feel himself slipping under, losing himself in her.  
  
He was no longer master of his own actions, if he had been he would not of reduced the pressure of his lips on hers to a firm caress, he would not have freed her hands so that his own could tangle in her golden hair. He would not have stroked her cheek so tenderly as he kissed her, or rolled them over so that she was above him.  
  
If he had been commander of his body he would not have moaned so suppliantly into her mouth, his hands would have pushed her hot body away from his rather than pulling her closer. And certainly he would not have torn his lips away from hers to breath one word with such reverence "Buffy"  
  
Oh god, oh go, oh god Buffy's mind chanted over and over as she moved instinctively above him, he's kissing me, he's really kissing me. It had been so long, such a very long time since she felt this, felt him, shattering and rebuilding her over and over again with the movement of his lips on hers. Too long her heart told her since she had lost herself so completely in another. She heard him say her name, her real name, barely more than a breath tinged with sound but undeniably her name and she came undone, finding his lips again with a needy moan, she gripped his shoulders melding her body to his.  
  
Her hands where moving now, mapping out the planes of his body, pushing aside the cotton of his shirt to explore the cool skin beneath, before moving lower to play around the waist band of his jeans.  
  
She was lost and he knew it, knew that at this moment she was his for the taking, his own hands moved to caress the skin of her back, God how he wanted her, he could feel the need to have her eclipsing all else in his mind. Then he felt it, the cool metal of her ring, contrasting starkly with the heat of her fingers and he remembered, Buffy was engaged to be married.  
  
It didn't matter he told himself, he didn't give a rats arse what promises she had made some wanker almost old enough to be her father, but Buffy did. If she did this now she would be sorry afterwards, she'd feel guilty, maybe even ashamed. Suddenly the thought of her being ashamed of this, of her hiding this from those around her choked him, sending a strange familiar pain though his heart.  
  
Memories without form or detail told him that this was not enough that her body hot and willing above him was more curse then blessing. Instinctively he knew that it could not be like this for either of them.  
  
He pulled away slightly. One look at her eyes, hazy with lust, almost broke his resolve, but the knowledge was too real, too painful to ignore. "Buffy" he tried to get her to focus on his words "luv we can't do this"  
  
What? Buffy's mind protest, why not? But words wouldn't come so she just shook her head slightly and tried to find his lips again. He firmly held her at bay a forlorn expression marring his face. "Buffy listen to me, we can't, this cheating, it'll hurt in the morning"  
  
She let his words sink in 'cheating?' Oh God Dawn. She scrambled to her feet, her hand coming to her mouth as she looked down at him. He was resting on his elbows, clothes awry, hair tousled, he looked so enticing with his swollen lips and sad eyes that she almost went to him again. Dawn, her mind screamed, you can't do this to Dawn.  
  
So she ran, turned and ran as fast as her super human strength allowed. He watched her go and felt his heart crack with knowledge that a history he couldn't remember sharing with her was repeating itself.  
  
He could've cried, but it wasn't his style so instead he turned to the overly elaborate mausoleum with it's cracked carvings and punished the stone until his knuckles where broken and bloody and the wall of the tomb rubble beneath his feet.  
  
............................................................  
  
A/N Thanks for the reviews, makes me happy.  
  
Allan - you sound like April who is kindly proof reading my second story. I can only apologise for the dreadful grammar, I know my sentences run on and I've never understood colons. Maybe after I finish my second story I'll see if April has the time to wade through this mess, but for the time being I'm afraid we're stuck with it. In my defence ff.net sometime eats line breaks  
  
Ah ladyluck, you are not the first to compare Richard to Riley, I guess he's along the same lines, kinda vanilla. I'm flattered I held your attention enough for you to read all 19 chapters at once  
  
Anoni-mouse, Hello. Thanks for the review, concise and encouraging 


	21. A few things resolved

Buffy flew past the living room door and up the stairs faster that humanly possible, her footstep echoing through he suddenly silent house. The group exchanged worried glances "Should I...?" Willow trailed off angling her head towards the stairs.  
  
"No" Dawn said standing. "I'll go"  
  
She disappeared up the stairs, the quite pad of her stoking feet contrasting with her sister's earlier ascent.  
  
"Buffy" she called softly through the closed door, "Buffy can I come in?"  
  
Silence, Dawn waited a moment more before pushing the door open and peering in. Her sister sat on the bed in the poorly lit room, her hands wringing nervously in her lap.  
  
"Buffy?" Dawn prompted again, moving closer. "Are you okay?"  
  
When she met her sisters gaze, Buffy's eyes where worried, he demeanour skittish. She glanced away quickly biting her lip, "I'm fine," she answered softly.  
  
"Buffy" the younger girls voice held a trace of gentle reprimand, "Tell me. Did something happen tonight, with Spike?"  
  
Buffy's head came up quickly, her eyes wide with shock and guilt, again she only held her sister's gaze for a moment before dropping her head.  
  
"Buffy" Dawn implored, "Please, whatever it is you can tell me, please"  
  
"I'm sorry" Buffy choked out, her voice filled with tears, "I didn't mean to, we where fighting and it just happened, I'm sorry"  
  
Fear gripped her, no this couldn't be real, Buffy couldn't have really killed him, she just couldn't have. "Buffy" she asked urgently "Buffy what happened?"  
  
"I'm sorry" Buffy apologised again, tears streaming down her face as she avoided Dawns questioning gaze. "It wasn't like I planned it, but he kissed me and I, I just couldn't stop, I'm so sorry Dawn." She raised her head and met her sister's eyes determinedly "It won't happen again Dawn, I promise. I never meant to hurt you"  
  
"Eh?" the brunette's ineloquent response seemed to provoke further apology from Buffy.  
  
"I'm sorry Dawn, truly I am. I know how things are between you, I should never have... I'm so sorry"  
  
"Eh?" okay Dawn, really need to find a new response, the brunette chided herself, but what the hell is she talking about, why does she keep apologising, surely she knows I love Spike.  
  
"I'm a terrible sister, I really am. I know how you feel about him"  
  
Oh. Realisation hit Dawn like a sucker punch, causing her to sputter at her weeping sister, "Ewwwww!!!"  
  
Buffy stopped in her track, self-flagellation temporarily forgotten in the wake of Dawn's violent exclamation.  
  
"Eh?" Buffy's turn to try the monosyllabic  
  
"Ewww" Dawn reiterated her earlier sentiment, face screwing up in an expression of disgust. "You thought me and Spike where, ewww Buffy. What the hell made you think that?"  
  
"Eh?" Buffy shook herself "I mean what? You mean you're not?"  
  
"No" she shook her head, glossy brown hair flying. "Definitely not. That's just ewww. Buffy how could you think? Spike's like my brother"  
  
"But" Buffy blinked and shook her head. "You two, doing your Siamese twin impression, with the giggling and the jokes, a-and the touching" She nodded her conviction that she was not mistaken.  
  
"Buffy, he's my friend, and he just came back from the dead" Dawn told her in a soft earnest voice, then she crossed her arms and gave a petulant toss of her head "It's not like you where exactly welcoming him back with open arms"  
  
"I" Buffy frowned at the accusation "I did what I could, he hated me remember?"  
  
"My God are you blind" Dawn looked disbelievingly at her "Did you not notice the way he was looking at you, I mean right from the start, it was obviously just a matter of time"  
  
The blonde sighed with relief, Spike and Dawn, just friends, completely wholesome relationship, but if that was the case...  
  
"Then why did he stop?" she asked a perplexed Dawn. "He said that 'cheating would hurt in the morning' and he stopped. If he's not with you, then where's the cheating?"  
  
Dawn gave her an incredulous look shaking her head, "Buffy. Richard"  
  
.......................................................  
  
"Oh dear lord" the familiar phrase caused the Scoobies to look suspiciously at their mentor.  
  
"Well that doesn't sound good" Xander commented, earning wry glances from his friends.  
  
"What's up Giles?" Buffy asked grateful for something to occupy her mind other than the absent vampire  
  
"Something rather disturbing regarding Velmorick" the watcher told them, pensively polishing his glasses, "this text refers to an astral alignment that it is believed will enhance Velmorick's power. This alignment happens roughly once every ten thousand years"  
  
Buffy sighed running a hand through her hair "let me guess. This is the lucky year, fifty percent extra free on all demon power sources"  
  
Giles gave her an un-amused glare. "Quite" he affirmed, "I'll have to do some more work to give you and exact date but, yes, this is the year"  
  
"Do we have any idea what this could mean?" Willow asked, "Marcus already has control of his demon horde, what else does he need"  
  
"Uh oh" Dawn interrupted, frantically flicking through the pages of her own book, "I saw something about this in the legend"  
  
Only the sound of rustling paper disturbed the tense silence as the group waited from Dawn to locate the information, Willow and Buffy shared a worried look.  
  
"Here it is" at last she found the page, "my translations kinda sketchy but basically it says, 'And Velmorick took the power of a thousand stars' um then something I don't understand, maybe 'forged his armies swords' or sharpened them I'm not sure. Then it says 'nothing stood before them'"  
  
"Forging swords, now he's a blacksmith?" Xander asked his tone light, but unmistakable worry on his face.  
  
"Probably a metaphor, I think we should all get some rest, I'll attempt to find an exact date for the alignment, Dawn if you have time perhaps you could work on that translation, maybe decipher it's meaning"  
  
.......................................................  
  
Rest, hah that was a joke, it was nearly dawn, she would need to be up in an hour if she was going to get to work on time. She rolled over and buried down into her pillow, she had deliberately not changed the sheets after Spike had moved into the spare room, and his scent lingered in the fabric. Still sleep eluded her.  
  
Why wasn't he back yet, it was nearly sunrise, he should be back, unless he wasn't coming back, maybe she'd scared him away. No, this was Spike, really not scared off that easily, he'd be back. Unless he'd been hurt, Marcus might've sent another demon assassination squad. She was half way out of bed, when she heard the back door open, she relaxed back into the bed, sighing her relief, he was home.  
  
She lay still, barely breathing, senses reaching out through the quite house to track his movements, she heard him quietly ascend the stairs, must've taken his boots off. She listened to his footsteps on the landing, one two three, four, that would take him past the spare room, five six, shit he was coming to her room, he was nearly at the door, oh God.  
  
She wasn't sure if she was relived or disappointed when she heard the bathroom door open. Letting out a shaky breath she closed her eyes, she had to see him before she went to work, she felt like she was going crazy.  
  
Spike exited the bathroom just as she came into the hall, instinctively she ran her eyes over his body, checking that he was okay, her eyes rested on his damages hands and worry overtook her. Strange how even knowing that his vampiric power would heel the slight wounds before nightfall still she couldn't help but fuss around him.  
  
"Oh your hands, did you get in a fight?" she didn't wait for an answer before stepping forward, taking one bloodied hand gently in hers, "Let me clean these up properly for you"  
  
She led him back into the bathroom, leaving him momentarily to riffle through the cabinet in search of her first aid kit. "Come here" she ordered gently, as she ran warm water into the sink.  
  
Spike knew he should get out, leave the bathroom, tell her he was fine and slink off to bed, but she was so worried and gentle as she touched him, he couldn't resist basking in her concern.  
  
"It's alright" he told her half heartedly "you don't have to"  
  
"I want to" she responded firmly, dabbing at his knuckles. A moment's silence before she spoke again. "Spike about earlier..."  
  
"Don't," he commanded shakily, "you don't have to say anything"  
  
"Spike you don't understand" she ran her hands up his arm, and locked her eyes with his, "I know what I'm doing"  
  
"Buffy"  
  
"Ssshhh" she whispered moving closer, standing on tiptoes she laid her lips gently over his.  
  
Don't do it mate, his half formed memories told him, she'll hurt you, go running back to lover boy. But her lips where soft temptation and he succumbed returning the tentative kiss. It was Buffy who took the lead, angling her head and opening her mouth to deepen the kiss, small strong hands sliding up his arms to cling to his shoulders.  
  
It was gentler this time, an almost lazy caress of lips and tongues. Buffy moaned into his mouth, letting herself sink deeply into the feel of him. Then he was pulling away, leaving her bereft, she reached for him but he batted her hands away. "Not really interested in being your dirty little secret Slayer"  
  
His tone was bitter, eyes wary, maybe even hurt. Shame for the way she had treated him in the past despite everything he had given her overwhelmed her she dropped her eyes.  
  
He clenched his fists, hurt and anger sending violent shudders through his body, there it was, guilt and shame written on her feature as clearly as if she had shouted it aloud.  
  
"Spike" she looked up at him resolve replacing guilt. "Spike, I promise it won't be that way." She moved towards him and he stood his ground, letting her get close enough to touch. "I promise it'll be okay, I wont..." now she did touch him, one warm hand sliding up his body to settle over his heart. She watched it's progress as if hypnotised by her own movement, "Please believe me, it'll be okay, I won't hurt you again"  
  
He didn't question the 'again' knowledge that she had done so was already clear in his fragmented memories. He looked away eyes lifting to the ceiling, "Buffy, I..." he trailed off, when her hand reached up to angle his face back down to look at her  
  
"Do you trust me?" she asked softly, her eyes telling him what is answer meant to her.  
  
"Yes" he breathed, before his mind had even processed the question, he trusted her implicitly.  
  
She quirked a smile at him, "there you go then." She kissed him again, and this time he didn't object, he yanked her body flush against his with one strong arm wrapped around her waist, revelling in how her shocked gasp mutated quickly into a needy moan.  
  
Her hands wasted no time in reacquainting themselves with the contours of his body, gliding over his chest and back, reaching higher to tangle in his short hair. He responded in kind, hands slipping up beneath her baby t- shirt to caress her breasts as he backed her up against the sink. A trail of kisses down her throat had her gasping his name and thrusting her hips towards him eagerly.  
  
His self-satisfied chuckle, which should have been annoying in its arrogance, was in fact so familiar, so utterly him that it served only to fuel her desire. She dragged one leg up the outside of his thigh and he caught it beneath the knee, pulling her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist. "Buffy" he moaned into her skin  
  
"Buffy" Dawns aggravated voice sounded through the locked door, "what are you doing in there? Come on it's nearly time to leave and I need a shower"  
  
Spike pulled back and set her on her feet, chuckling at the annoyed growl that emanated from the small slayer. "Okay Dawn, go put some coffee on I'll be right out"  
  
She turned to Spike as she heard her sister plod off down the stairs. "No fair" she pouted, her hands once again gliding over his forearms.  
  
"Gotta go to work pet?" he asked, one hand toying with a strand of golden hair.  
  
"Yeah" she sighed, "Actually I really do, my boss is kinda down on me for taking the other afternoon off" she pouted again, "Don't wanna," she stated petulantly "wanna stay here with you"  
  
He chuckled at her childlike antics, "I'll be here when you get back pet" he tried to placate her.  
  
"You better be" she told him firmly, leaning up to kiss him briefly. "See you later then?" she asked almost shyly  
  
"Count on it." He affirmed, "Now off you go" he pushed her towards the door, only to pull her back just before she could reach for the handle. She giggled delightfully as she was jerked back into his arms, he couldn't help but smile, god but she was adorable like this.  
  
She kissed him on the nose, and he gave her a fake glare that made her laugh even more. He silenced her with a passionate kiss, trapping her between his body and the door hands running through her shiny hair.  
  
"Hhhhhmmm" she voiced her approval when he finally let her breathe, "are you trying to convince me to go to work, 'cos really not the way to do it"  
  
"Sorry pet" he apologised insincerely, "but you're just too delicious not to grab another taste"  
  
She blushed prettily and kissed him briefly before opening the door and heading off down the hall, she made it all of three strides before she turned back to the following vampire and kissed him again.  
  
They broke apart and came together again so many times that they were both laughing breathlessly by the time they reached the top of the stairs. Suddenly he became serious, "See you later pet?" he sought one last confirmation.  
  
"See you later" she affirmed in a whisper, satisfied he gave her a nod, and turned her towards the stairs, patting her ass playfully to send her on her way.  
  
She glanced over her shoulder at when she reached the bottom to see him watching her, he gave her a cheeky wink and disappeared in to the spare room.  
  
.......................................................  
  
Dawn raised her eyebrows questioningly when Buffy came into the kitchen a dreamy smile on her face. "Shower's free," she told her smiling broadly.  
  
"Uh huh" she paused "so did you and Spike make up?" she asked innocently.  
  
"Um hmm" Buffy affirmed nodding enthusiastically, "much making up, and more promised for later"  
  
Dawn couldn't help but smile, it had been such a very long time since Buffy's smile had been so genuine, perhaps now was not a good moment to bring up the small matter of the fiancée Buffy seemed to have completely forgotten.  
  
An hour later as Buffy turned the car into the university car park a good moment was still yet to arrive, Buffy had been humming happily along to the radio for the entirety of the drive, occasional breaking off to comment on how much a she liked the songs.  
  
"Buffy" Dawn ventured regretfully as Buffy brought the car to a halt, "what are you gonna do, about Richard?"  
  
Dawn wished she'd kept her mouth shut as she watched her sister's good mood deflate as if she had stuck a pin in it. "I mean if you and Spike, well you know, what about Richard."  
  
Buffy looked troubled for a moment before smiling again, "I don't know, but I'll figure it out. See you later"  
  
.......................................................  
  
Spike lay on his bed puffing on a pensively, on a cigarette he had been staring at the ceiling for the better part of an hour. Turning over the images his shattered memories had supplied after she had left for work.  
  
He had closed his eyes, willing himself to conjure her face earlier, happy and carefree, but his mind had provided less appealing memories. He remembered rough sex and cruel words, he remembered lying in a filthy alley with the Slayer above him, pounding her deadly fists into his face, spitting venom and hatred at him as she battered him.  
  
He remembered the pain of her insults 'evil, disgusting, thing' the words repeated in his mind over and over until he thought he would scream.  
  
Again he reached for more recent memories 'I won't hurt you again', she had promised him that everything would be okay and he had to believe her. She had asked him if he trusted her and he knew that he did. Mentally he compared the playful smiles she had given him that morning to the tortured pain that distorted her face in his memories and he believed her that things were different, that she was different, now.  
  
He let images of a smiling Buffy fill his tired brain. What a bloody woman, he mused, could break a fella's heart just by looking at him.  
  
He glanced at the clock, she'd barely been gone an hour and already he was impatient for her return, he just wanted to touch her all the time, she was so god damn enchanting. Everything a man could want, fiery warrior, beautiful woman, and charming girl.  
  
He stubbed out his cigarette an smiled up at the ceiling, best try and get some sleep, at least it'd pass the time till she got home. He closed his eyes, hoping that he'd dream of their earlier encounter in the bathroom.  
  
.......................................................  
  
A/N Thanks to all those who left reviews, bear likes it more than having her tummy scratched and that's saying something.  
  
RavensHaelo – I'm trying to keep Buffy in character, she always makes relationships harder than they need to be. Spike loves her anyway, fool that he is.  
  
Stacy75 – Hey girl, glad you like. All resolved about S/D now, yuck how could Bufyy have thought...  
  
Hey Thursday, nice to see you over here on FF.net. Means a lot that you reviewed again xxxxx  
  
First time reviewer, you almost got the hang of it right away, but it's your name you need to put in the Name field not mine. It looks like I sent myself that fabulously flatering praise fest. Still it doesn't matter I'm really glad you liked it so much, hope you'll keep reading, and I'll get to see your name/alias up there. 


	22. A scene replayed

The day had passed in a blur, Buffy was certain some of her advice to the pupils that visited her had not been entirely valid. Her mind was most definitely elsewhere.  
  
Elsewhere with Spike, waiting for her at home, all wit and passion, God how she loved him, and he was falling in love with her again, it was just too good, she could barely believe it. Richard, her mind reprimanded her, are you gonna cheat on him, because there is no way you aren't sleeping with that sexy vampire tonight. The thought sent tingles through her body, she was going to have sex with Spike again tonight, and this time she was gonna get it right, gonna let him make love to her like he always wanted, let him hold her afterwards while she slept, the way she never allowed before. Richard, her conscience reminded her again.  
  
She sighed noticing it was almost time to go, just one thing to do before she could head home to Spike.  
  
........  
  
"Buffy?" Richard asked confused as she entered his office, "what are you doing here, I though we where having lunch tomorrow"  
  
"Richard" Buffy began, shit this was hard, she hadn't done this before, well once, but that didn't count, because that had been Spike and inside they had both known she hadn't meant it.  
  
"Oh baby, I was gonna call you I've had a thought about the seating plan, we're going to need to make room for..."  
  
"Richard" she cut him off, "I'm sorry, but I can't marry you"  
  
He gaped at her, taking her words in, "What? Why?" he asked pain making his voice ragged.  
  
"I'm sorry, I..." she paused "There's someone else, I'm sorry"  
  
"Someone else" he exploded, anger rising suddenly "who? It's him isn't it, that arrogant son of a bitch at your house, Spike, it's him"  
  
Buffy tried to keep calm in the face of his anger, "I'm sorry, Richard, I never meant to hurt you, but yes, it's him, he, we have a lot of history and..." she trailed off, there was no way to explain this that would make it any better. No words she could say that would dampen the raging hurt in his eyes.  
  
Tears filled her own eyes as she tried desperately to lesson the blow, "I care about you Richard I really do, but Spike.... Truly I am..."  
  
"Don't tell me you're sorry Buffy" he shouted hand slamming down on the desk with a loud crack, "You're not sorry and we both know it." He paused, regarding her through tear filled eyes. "You love this guy? Does he make you happy?"  
  
"Yes, yes he does" she told him earnestly  
  
He gave her a tight, tired smile, "then there's nothing else to say, Goodbye Buffy"  
  
"Goodbye" she whispered before slipping from the office.  
  
He watched her leave, tears trickling unheeded down his face, nothing he had ever felt had prepared him for the pain of losing Buffy, she had illuminated his life with her bright light and now he had lost her. He sighed deeply, burying his face in his hands, no he wasn't losing her, she had never been his, perhaps she had always belonged to this Spike.  
  
.........................  
  
Spike dreamed, she was kissing him in the bathroom, reaching up to gently kiss his lips "wanna stay here with you" she pouted and he couldn't help but smile.  
  
"Buffy" he murmured reaching pulling aside her robe, "I know you felt it ... when I was inside you..." his voice suddenly desperate and demanding.  
  
"No, ow, ow! Please, please, Spike, please..." he heard her pleading sob, but it didn't matter, he couldn't stop now, just had to make her understand, make her feel it.  
  
"You'll feel it again, Buffy..." he told her, almost as if to reassure them both, just a little closer and he'd be inside her, she'd feel it then.  
  
He felt her struggle become weaker "Please don't do this..." she begged trying to twist away from him  
  
Don't fight it my love he told her mentally its all gonna be okay, "I'm gonna make you feel it."  
  
He didn't wake up screaming, or startle awake breathing hard with shock. He just opened his eyes and let the tears pour down his face to soak the pillow beneath.  
  
............................  
  
It was Buffy's firm belief that the world was conspiring to keep her away from Spike as long as possible, the drive across town from Richards office seemed to be taking forever, traffic moved with obviously deliberate slowness, while spiteful pedestrians took the opportunity to delay her further by using every crossing on her route. By the time she entered her house she feeling edgy and frustrated, the sight of the Scooby gang waiting for her made her want to groan out loud.  
  
"Buffy" Giles greeted "Excellent we where waiting for you, we have some disturbing news"  
  
Buffy sighed, giving the stairs a rueful glance before resigning herself to this further delay. "What's up?" she asked taking a seat.  
  
"Well for one thing I have a date for the alignment, midnight, two days from now," he told her ominously.  
  
"Two days!" Buffy exclaimed, "we're not ready, we don't even know, well anything"  
  
"We know what happens at the alignment" Dawn interjected, "I finished off the translation this afternoon."  
  
"Let me guess, something not good" the Slayer ventured in a resigned voice.  
  
"Really not" dawn confirmed, "During the alignment Marcus will be able to use the amulet to channel Velmorick's power directly into his army. Enhancing the strength of every demon he commands"  
  
"Great" Buffy let frustration make her voice harsh, "so Marcus already vastly superior force will be extra powerful and completely unbeatable"  
  
"I'm afraid that's about the short of it yes," the watcher affirmed with a tired sigh. "We have to somehow stop Marcus from channelling that power into his army"  
  
"Perhaps if we could destroy the amulet?" Willow suggested  
  
"Marcus isn't gonna let us get near his precious amulet" Buffy countered, "how about the effigy, could we destroy that?"  
  
"I could probably destroy it with magic, but there would be a residual effect, meaning Marcus could still control the demons long enough to really hurt the Slayers. Besides, we don't know where it is"  
  
"There was one door that Marcus had heavily guarded" Spike's voice cut in from the doorway, causing Buffy to smile radiantly at him, he avoided her eyes and continued. "I'd bet me last farthing that the temples right under his digs"  
  
Buffy frowned trying to catch the vampire's eye again, "Hi Spike" she greeted, but he didn't look up.  
  
"If we could get to the effigy, maybe we could spike it some how?" Xander suggested, "like tag something along with its power that'd hurt them instead of making them stronger"  
  
"Excellent idea Xander" Giles complimented, slight disbelief in his tone. "Willow?"  
  
"I don't think I could do that, but maybe once the transfer begins, we could latch on to it's conduit, destroy the effigy and send our own..." she trailed off shaking her head. "It's a really long shot and even if I could do it I'd need an energy source, I can channel the power, but I can't create it"  
  
"Well that's that out, no way we're gonna get an energy source at this notice, not now the scythe's all used up" Buffy flopped despondently down in her chair, her thoughts half on the impossible task ahead and half on the silent vampire leaning heavily against the door frame.  
  
"Umm, we have an energy source" Dawn replied tentatively.  
  
Willows eyes went wide with understanding, "Dawn no, I don't think..."  
  
"If two drops of my blood could rip open all dimensional walls, I think there's enough power here for you to deal with a few thousand demons" she crossed her arms and looked defiantly from one face to another. "We have an energy source, now we need a plan"  
  
"No way!" Buffy was on her feet, "If the effigy is really in Marcus' lair, it's gonna be heavily guarded, it's way too dangerous, you are not going anywhere near that shrine"  
  
"Buffy it's the only way. I'm not a child anymore, if my blood has the power to stop this thing, I'm going." The two faced each other twin expressions of determination on their faces.  
  
"Do we need Dawn?" Xander asked "Couldn't we just take a little blood?"  
  
Willow shook her head. "The blood would die outside the body."  
  
"Yes quite, we'd need a mystical vessel of some sort or the blood would lose its power" Giles agreed.  
  
Xander looked nervously about the room in the silence that followed, before raising his hand like a nervous pupil seeking a teacher's attention. "I have a really bad idea," he told them  
  
.........................  
  
"No bloody way" Spike exploded, the whelp was insane if he thought any of them would go along with this.  
  
"It might work" Willow offered raising her hands as if to calm the irate vampire, "and it'd keep Dawn out of danger"  
  
Spike paused his agitated pacing and narrowed his eyes at the witch, didn't take this lot long to figure out a fella's weak spots. "I think it'd bring her a lot closer to danger than she needs to get"  
  
"It's really a question of relatives" Giles tried to intercede, "while the plan is far from ideal, it would be far better for her to be bitten by you out of harms way then to go into Marcus' stronghold"  
  
"Spike" Dawn tried to convince him, "you're the only mystical vessel we have, it's either this or I have to go with Willow." She smiled at him, "It's okay, I trust you"  
  
"You shouldn't" he spat bitterly before turning and heading for the back door.  
  
Buffy was up and following him before anyone could stop her, "Spike" she called running out into the back yard, eyes scanning desperately left and right as she searched for the vampire.  
  
"Right here" she spun round at the sound of his voice, he was leaning on the railing of the back porch, cigarette hanging unlit from his lips.  
  
"Spike" she breathed in relief, she moved towards him, hand coming up to touch his arm, "Whats up babe?"  
  
She frowned when he flinched violently away from her touch, "Don't," he commanded harshly.  
  
"Spike what's wrong? I don't understand" tears shone prettily in her eyes and he almost reached out to comfort her, before he remembered he had no right to offer her anything except an explanation.  
  
"Had me a not so pleasant trip down memory lane today" he looked at her almost accusingly, "How can you even think that we could... after..."  
  
Buffy's eyes widened in shock, he remembered, remembered uber-bitch Buffy and now he didn't want her. "Spike that was then this is now, it's different."  
  
"Different?" he asked incredulously, "It's different, forgive and forget then." He shook his head "Unbelievable" he muttered.  
  
"Spike look, I'm sorry, I know that things where messed up before, but this time it'll be different. We can make it work I know we can" she knew she was begging, abandoning her pride before him and she didn't care, she had to make him see. "I know there was a lot of bad, we hurt each other, but it's in the past. It's not us anymore"  
  
He was looking at her like she was crazy, brow furrowed, she ploughed on "It's different now, everything's different, we're diff..."  
  
"I almost raped Dawn" his soft confession shocked her into silence. She shook her head, as if to deny his words.  
  
"I almost raped Dawn," he repeated more loudly. "I held her down, ripped her shirt and laughed when she begged me to stop" he held her shocked gaze for a moment, making sure she understood. "So you tell me that I'm different"  
  
.........................  
  
A/N I know, I'm sorry, but we couldn't just ignore the rape could we, best to face up to the problem. Thanks to my nice reviewer people  
  
RavensHealo – I stole your Spuffy, I'm sorry don't tar and feather me please.  
  
Hello Michelle, oh I'm glad to have a name for you. Wow I blush at your flattery. Makes me want to write when someone is so enthused. Thank you.  
  
Hey Aubrey, glad you like thanks for reviewing  
  
Ladyluck – Not such a fresh start I'm afraid, but they can't ignore the past. Yeah I let Buffy stew for a while but it was time for Dawn to set her straight.  
  
Thanks for the reviews makes the bear smile 


	23. A welcoming committee

"Buffy?" Dawn questioned when the Slayer finally returned to the group.  
  
Buffy looked at her sister's concerned face, her baby sister, poor Dawn, God how could he have...  
  
"Buffy?" Another concerned voice, Willow's, her gaze questioning but supportive.  
  
"Spike" She paused, the name tasted like acid in her mouth, "He went back to the motel. He said he'd do what ever we needed, just go get him"  
  
"Buffy, what happened are you okay?" Dawn's question sent anger coursing through her, how can you ask me that you lying little...  
  
"Giles" she ignored the question. "Can you book overnight flights, we need to get to the hellmouth"  
  
......................  
  
"It's just too damn quiet, I don't like it" Faith commented, eyes scanning the cemetery.  
  
"Calm before the storm?" Angel asked his voice soft, eyes following hers out over the landscape.  
  
"I reckon. I wish B and the gang 'd get here already" she sighed leaning back further on the tomb they where sitting on she let her gaze travel to the star covered sky.  
  
"Never thought I'd hear those words from you Faith" he replied with a dry chuckle, "Thought you liked being the head honcho?"  
  
"Oh yeah man, I mean it's cool and all, making the decisions giving the orders." She sighed and turned her head to catch his eye, "but this is bad shit man, I figure we're gonna be needing the big guns on this one. Say is Red coming too?"  
  
"Giles said she would, Xander too, and Dawn" he frowned running his earlier conversation with the Watcher over in his mind, "he said they had a few ideas, and some reinforcements, funny he was a bit cagy on the details"  
  
"Well you know Giles, likes to build up the melodrama" she sighed again, feeling strangely old in the face of the inevitable battle, perhaps she was old, for a slayer anyway, if not for B and Willow she'd have been dead years ago, just like all the chosen ones before her.  
  
"Lets head back to HQ" she said standing and brushing herself off, before her thoughts could turn maudlin. "We wanna make sure we're in the welcoming committee"  
  
........................  
  
The pencil moved over the cheap motel stationary as if by it's own volition. There was little hope of sleep, no dream that would not inevitably lead back to that awful scene.  
  
Images of Buffy where scattered all over the bed in some her face was hard as stone, hatred burning in the greys of her graphite eyes, in others she was hurt, tears on her cheeks, pain and confusion on her face. He sighed and studied his latest creation, fear and betrayal screamed back at him from the page.  
  
He dropped his head into his hands, he had put that expression on her beautiful face, his rough demanding hands, his merciless lust. He wiped angrily at the tears that forced their way past his closed eyelids.  
  
He remembered that morning, the gentle playfulness, the easy affection, how could she behave like that, after what he had done, how could she forgive him. She would not forgive him this, he had seen it in her eyes when he told her what he had done to Dawn, she may be able to forgive the wrongs he had done her, but she would not forgive the transgression against her sister.  
  
He sighed, turned over a new leaf of paper, picked up his pencil again and drew.  
  
....................  
  
"Buffy" Dawn came into her room without knocking, concern for her sister overriding any thought of politeness.  
  
"Buffy what's wrong?" she crouched down in front of her sister "Come on Buffy, you know you can tell me anything"  
  
"Hah" the sound was harsh, almost unrecognisable as her own voice. "Can I? When you tell me nothing"  
  
She caught the younger girls eye and held it "How the hell could you not tell me Dawn?"  
  
"What Buffy? I don't understand" Dawn's protestation fuelled the Slayer's anger.  
  
"About what happened with Spike, you didn't think that maybe I had a right to know?"  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes "Buffy, we've been over this, there is no me and Spike"  
  
"In the motel" she said it like a challenge, daring her sister to deny the truth.  
  
"Oh." A long heavy pause "Buffy I didn't tell you, because" she took a deep breath Buffy wasn't going to like this "because it's none of your business"  
  
There was a brief moment of silence while Buffy gaped disbelievingly at her sister, then she exploded. "None of my business?" she shouted angrily. "How can it not be my business?" she was up and pacing now, anger radiating from every pore "My boyfriend tries to rape my sister and it's not my business"  
  
"No it's not" Dawn tried to keep her voice calm and reasoning. "Spike wasn't your boyfriend then. And he didn't try, he almost, he stopped"  
  
"Now you're arguing over semantics," Buffy hissed angrily.  
  
"No I'm not," she countered. "He couldn't remember us, he was just doing what any vampire would do"  
  
"So it's okay?" her anger was diminishing into hurt and confusion. "How could you let him be anywhere near you after that?"  
  
"You did" an undeniable truth, but not an accusation. "I didn't understand back then, I couldn't understand how you could forgive him, let him back into your life. I understand now"  
  
"Well I sure as hell don't" Buffy almost screamed, "Spike came back from Africa with a soul, he was different."  
  
"He's different now" she insisted.  
  
"How?" the blonde challenged, hands coming to rest on her hips. "What's changed in the last week? You tell me because I don't know. What's changed?"  
  
"You" Dawn let the answer sink in for a moment before pressing on. "You, he found you again, that's what changed. Spike doesn't need a soul Buffy, he never did, all he ever needed was you"  
  
"Dawn" Buffy began but trailed off, brow creased with half formed understanding.  
  
"Angel and Angelus where different creatures" Dawn pressed on, ageless wisdom guiding her words "I never understood how when Spike came back with his soul he was still just Spike  
  
"I was so angry with him back the, I thought it was because he wasn't really sorry, that he didn't regret what he'd done to you."  
  
Dawn paused searching her sister's eyes for confirmation that the older girl was following her. "But I figured it out" She continued, suddenly impassioned. "The soul wasn't a curse like Angel's, it was a reward. He fought for it, and when he won it back it wasn't to torture him or suppress the demon it was to guide him. He wanted to be good before the soul all he needed was a moral compass. The soul and the demon weren't at war like Angel and Angelus, they had too much in common"  
  
"Huh, what could his soul have in common with his demon?" Buffy's anger seemed to have abated, genuine curiosity in Dawn's reasoning taking its place  
  
"Buffy" Dawn's gentle voice held a hint of chiding, "You know what"  
  
She looked down, face contorted in deep thought, finally she met her sister eyes "me"  
  
...............................  
  
The day had been spent making arrangements, packing, peddling rusty excuses to bosses and tutors. Buffy had been grateful for the activity, anything to keep her mind off Spike.  
  
Everything was ready, nothing needed doing or rechecking, Giles and Xander had not arrived and Willow and Dawn where making sandwiches for the journey, well it was better that airplane food.  
  
So she was alone for a while, nothing to do but think. Was Dawn right? Was Spike a good guy just trying to find his way, relearning a centuries worth of forgotten morals. He had been a monster, she had always known that, he had never tried to hide it, never apologized for it. It was what he had been for a hundred years, was he different now, had love changed him. It seemed a foolishly romantic notion of course, but then this was Spike, the vampire that had earned a soul for love, even knowing what it would do to him.  
  
She ran a shaky hand through her hair and plopped down on the bed. If he was truly willing too learn, could she teach him? Could she give him back right and wrong? It was a responsibility she wasn't certain she could face. If she failed then innocent lives would be in her hands, but if she succeeded. Was Spike beyond redemption? True he was an unrepentant killer, a merciless demon, but he was also a compassionate man, driven by love to deny his very nature.  
  
"Giles is here" Willow's voice rescued her from her own circling thoughts  
  
.............  
  
"I'll go" Buffy offered when they pulled up in the motel car park. She was out of the car and halfway to the door before anyone could acknowledge her.  
  
One brief knock and she entered the unlocked room, "Spike" She greeted the vampire sitting cross legged on the bed, the bed where he had attacked Dawn, sketches of her own anguished face spread out before him. He tried to hide the images, hasty jerky movements, lacking his usual grace.  
  
"Time to go Slayer?" he asked keeping his eyes averted.  
  
"Yeah" she answered moving over to the shabby desk, covered with still more images. She recognised one as from their interlude in her bathroom the previous morning. Her own broad smile shone radiantly from the page and she returned the smile with a rueful quirk of her own lips. Had he really put that blissful expression on her face just a day ago?  
  
She listened to him moving about behind her for a moment more before he spoke. "Ready" he informed her, the single word laden with guilt and regret.  
  
"Okay" as she moved away some scribblings on the edge of an image of a smiling Dawn caught her eye, causing her to gasp audibly.  
  
"You okay? He asked concern ringing in his hushed voice.  
  
"Sure fine" she turned giving him a business like look, "lets go"  
  
...............................  
  
Dawn had had enough, enough of watching Spike slink along behind the group like a whipped dog, enough of watching Buffy give the vampire alternately wary and sympathetic looks. Most of all she had had enough of the tension that hung heavy as molasses in the air.  
  
With a determine toss of her hair she stood and strode over to where the vampire had positioned himself, leaning heavily on a mirrored pillar away from the rest of the group. "Giving yourself away there fang," she told him, gesturing towards the empty mirror.  
  
His sigh was so utterly desolate that she ached for him, "not much bothered what people think pet." He told her keeping his eyes fixed on his steel toecaps. "You should head back over to your sister, no good you being anywhere near the likes of me"  
  
Her irritated huff was obviously not what he expected, "Oh for Gods sake Spike stop being such a drama queen"  
  
"Pardon?" he gave her a disbelieving, half offended look.  
  
"You heard." She told him sharply before her eyes softened and she reached for his arm, gripping it firmly when he tried to move away. "This is me Spike" she reassured him. "I know you've got Buffy worries right now, but this is me. Don't shut me out, okay?"  
  
"Pet you don't understand..." he began only to be cut off by her unladylike snort  
  
"Spike, I understand more than everyone gives me credit for. I'm like a billion years old." Her attempt at lightening the mood was blessedly successful.  
  
"Or ten" he countered with a wry chuckle.  
  
"Children can be very perceptive" she let her mirth slip away, "I know you remembered. About what happened with Buffy"  
  
"Yeah I remember" his voice was so low she almost didn't hear him.  
  
"But you don't remember everything" she insisted firmly, "a lot happened before and after that you don't remember."  
  
"Nothing that excuses what I did to her" he paused catching her silky hair in his fingers "or to you"  
  
"Blah!" she exclaimed, "you keep your guilt trips for Buffy, me and you are okay, I know it wasn't you"  
  
"Then who the bloody hell was it?" his voice boomed in the near empty terminal causing Buffy to glance up sharply at them, he dropped his eyes where they met hers.  
  
"There's no one else Dawn, I'm no Angel"  
  
"I know" she replied, "but you changed, for me, for Buffy, it wasn't your fault you couldn't remember"  
  
He sighed shaking his head, "Dawn..."  
  
"No" her voice was firm, "you can't expect to get everything right right away, you'll make mistakes, but you're trying and that's enough."  
  
"Not for Buffy"  
  
"Oh I wouldn't be so sure. Give her time" she slipped her arms around his waist and tucked her head under his chin, waiting patiently for his arms to come up hesitantly around her.  
  
..............................................  
  
"Flight 392 to Cleveland now boarding" Buffy watched as the announcement cause Dawn and Spike to pull out of their long embrace, Dawn scrubbing frantically at her face, while the vampire shook himself.  
  
She was on the plane second, grabbing a window seat in front of Xander, Willow and Dawn came next, taking the two seats in front of her, already bickering over who was buying the in flight drinks.  
  
He looked strangely comfortable in the modern confines of the plane, moving gracefully down the aisle, somehow she had expected the same awkwardness that Angel still exhibited when confronted with human technology. He glanced at the empty seat next to her and she found herself holding her breath, maybe he'd sit with her and they could talk.  
  
He didn't even catch her eye as he moved past her and flopped down next to Xander. "You mind mate?" he asked casually.  
  
"A few hours sitting next to the evil dead, why should I mind?" Xander joked without malice.  
  
"'Preciate it" Spike's uncharacteristic politeness seemed to unsettle Xander.  
  
"You alright man?" Xander asked with genuine concern. "You seem a little... off"  
  
"Fan-bloody-tastic, say you gotta pencil and paper?"  
  
"Er, not on me, but I bet the stewardess could get you one" He raised a hand. "Excuse me Miss"  
  
..............................  
  
"They are on their way Sire" Solomon informed him, "They boarded a night plane just minutes ago"  
  
"And the Slayers?" Marcus asked, running a hand over his chin thoughtfully.  
  
"No movement, they appear to be waiting for the arrival. I suspect they will send an escort to take them back to their head quarter."  
  
"Undoubtedly." He paused giving Solomon a hard look, "Make sure the welcoming committee is ready. I want her dead before she leaves the airport  
  
"Yes Sire" the vaith gave a stiff bow before turning to leave.  
  
"Solomon" Marcus eerily calm voice chilled the air in the room, stopping the demon at the door, "no mistakes this time. You understand?"  
  
Solomon nodded without looking back and left the room. No mistakes.  
  
He walked briskly to the where five men waited, mercenaries selling there automatic machine guns to the highest bidder, cruel blood thirsty men that would think nothing of murdering a pretty young girl for a few thousand pounds. No, no mistakes.  
  
..........................  
  
Buffy wiped her sweaty palms against her denim-clad thighs, she was feeling antsy and unsettled. Giles who had settled down next to her had long since fallen asleep, as had the girls in front of her. Xander's soft snoring was the only sound she could hear above the gentle hum of the planes engine, that and the never-ending scratch of graphite on paper.  
  
She almost growled, from the moment Xander had acquired the materials Spike had been drawing. She understood why he did it, transferring his shattered memories to paper in and attempt to capture them. But the almost inaudible sound of pencil on paper was beginning to fray her already jangling nerves.  
  
"No more fruit rollups mom" Xander mumbled, coming awake behind her with a start, "weird dream". She heard him yawn and shift in his seat.  
  
"Hey captain peroxide, what you drawing?" he asked quietly.  
  
"Your girl" came the distracted reply, Buffy heard the rustle of paper as Spike handed the young man a selections of drawings.  
  
Xander sighed as he studied the final picture, Anya's expression was sad, her eyes spoke of a pain her strange innocence had not been able to understand, instinctively he knew what memories the vampire was sketching here, so it was no great surprise when Spike spoke.  
  
"For what it's worth, I'm sorry," he offered, his eyes trained of the stewardess serving drinks at the front of the cabin. "If memory serves she was just drunk and lonely. Poor bint was just hurt is all, nothing more"  
  
"You and her both" Xander replied his eyes still riveted on the image.  
  
"You know" he began after a long pause, "it still eats me up that I put that expression on her face, that I did that to her. But you know what's worse?"  
  
He locked eyes with the vampire. "We wasted so much time, being scared and angry. Yeah it took her a long time to forgive me, but it took me even longer to let her. Coulda had more time if..." her trailed off before shaking himself.  
  
"I wont ask if you want my advice" he told the vampire, "'cos I know you'd say no, so I'll just give it. If you're lucky enough to get a chance, you let her forgive you"  
  
Buffy felt tears prick her eyes, dear Xander, impossibly perceptive Xander, how do you do it?  
  
She closed her eyes, if she could, if she decided she could forgive him, would he let her?  
  
...........................  
  
"Flights on time" Faith informed them, walking back towards Angel and the small party of Slayers that where to act as escort, "I guess wonders'll never cease"  
  
"How long till they get in?" Angel asked eyeing the board warily.  
  
"Ten minutes, then another ten with luggage collection. Should be back at Slayer central in an hour"  
  
"Come on big guy" she took his arm, "let's go get a coffee"  
  
...................  
  
Technology was no match for the power of the old ways, cloaking spells made light work of airport security. The five stood in the centre of the arrivals lounge, armed with semi automatic machine guns and no one in the airport knew a thing about it.  
  
"We kill them all" the leader informed them again, "But the girl first, no mistakes, we kill the blonde"  
  
A grunt of understanding rippled through the group "Sir?" one asked warily "The vampire?"  
  
"We stake him once the others are dead, it won't be a problem" he assured "shhh!" A harsh whisper, bring there attention to the passengers getting off the plane. "Get in position"  
  
....................  
  
Spike walked behind Buffy and Willow as they exited the plane, the others delayed by Dawn's uncooperative hand luggage left slightly behind. Moving into the departure lounge he was aware of three familiar smells, one was Angelus' unmistakable scent, the other a Slayer, but not Buffy, his mind flashed an image of feisty brunette, but it was gone too fast to decipher. The third smell was a strangely metallic, mechanical scent he couldn't place, he reached back into his long history a saw the battlefields of the Second World War. There it was beneath the remembered scent of death and sulphur that same scent. His sensitive hearing picked up a quit click of metal. Gun oil!  
  
With a shout of warning he pushed the two girls to the floor just as a shower of bullets flew overhead. Screams of pain and confusion sounded above them as the bullets found alternative targets. "Willow" he demanded, but she was already acting, mumbling magical words, and letting her power unravel the spell.  
  
He glanced around as the magic crumbled, revealing five viscous looking gunmen, "Xander" Buffy's panicked voice drew his attention to the young man bravely exiting the plane to come to his friends' aid, "Oh God"  
  
Xander had forgotten quite how strange an experience it was to look death in the face, he saw the armed men, heard Buffy's cry strangely distorted in his unnaturally clear mind, in slow motion he watched one of the men aim towards him, and watched him slowly squeeze the trigger.  
  
What he did not see was Spike, God had he really forgotten how fast those creatures could move, suddenly the vampire was in front of him, his body jerking violently as the automatic weapon peppered his chest with bullets.  
  
Time played catch up, hurtling uncontrollably towards the present, security where shouting orders uselessly, no help was coming from there, but help was coming. Twelve teenage girls, moving faster than any human should where amongst their attackers, high kicks and lightening fast hands knocking the weapons from the men's grasps perfectly executed sleeper holds leaving them for human authorities to deal with.  
  
Faiths voice sounded strongly from amongst them "Move" she ordered "Get out of here before the filth show up"  
  
Spike turned to him, seeming obliviously to his own perforated chest, "You alright mate?" he asked blood bubbling up with the word to froth over his lips.  
  
"Shit Spike" Xander was too slow too catch the falling vampire.  
  
"I got him" Angel appeared, throwing the younger vampire over his shoulder in a fireman's carry, "come on move"  
  
.......................  
  
A/N Hope people are enjoyng this fic, if you are let me know, if you have any constructive criticism, let me know. Just hit the review button ;) Hope all you Spike fans enjoyed Spike being the hero, I know I enjoyed writing it.  
  
Hey RavensHaelo you saw the complications coming, one step forward two back, that's Buffy and Spike. Looks like they've got some work to do  
  
Oh Ladyluck, poor Richard, he just lost the love of his life, have a little sympathy! I wanted Buffy to make the leap of dumping Richard before she had any guarantees, I want her more courageous about love (Look where it's got her though)  
  
Come on Stacy don't go soft on me, the hard time Spike's had with her, she deserves to have a little tiny bit of slapping down don't ya think? (Spike loves her and wants no revenge, I have no such scruples) 


	24. A healing touch

"Quick in the van" Faith ordered, mentally doing a head count, Xander, Willow, Dawn, Giles and Buffy, that's the old gang, three, six, nine, eleven, twelve slayers, Angel, and Spike! Shit!  
  
Damn B could given them some warning, Angel looked like he'd seen a ghost, he set his bloodied grandchild in the van and sat back on his heels, watching in confusion as Buffy clambered in next to the younger vampire.  
  
She kept her eyes on the distraught Slayer as she took command of more pressing matters. "Anna" she barked at one of the girls, "you're driving. Go!"  
  
"Spike" Buffy was muttering the vampire's name through desperate tears, her hands uselessly clutching at his chest to staunch the bleeding. "Oh God, please no"  
  
They where moving now, being jostled around on the metal floor as Anna sped through the busy streets. "Katie" she got the attention of a stocky brunette with short-cropped hair, "Quit gawping and get me some first aid"  
  
"Buffy" Dawn pulled her stricken sister away from Spike, giving Faith room to work. Her arms wrapping comfortingly around the older girl, "Let Faith patch him up okay? The blood loss won't kill him, it's gonna be okay"  
  
"Spike" the blonde whispered reaching a hand to touch the vampires thigh, "Help him" half an order half a plea as she looked beseechingly at the dark slayer.  
  
"I got it B" Faith went to work, she couldn't believe how frail Buffy seemed, how girlish and feeble in the face of Spike's condition, perhaps she had been pinning her hope too much on Buffy's arrival, perhaps the once mighty Buffy Summers wouldn't be able to save them after all.  
  
............................  
  
"How much longer?" Dawn demanded.  
  
Faith peered out the vans small back window getting her bearings "Nearly an hour, Anna's taking an alternative route, standard procedure in case we're followed"  
  
"Giles, can the blood loss kill him?" she asked the watcher. All eyes returned to the vampire on the floor, there was so much blood, Faith's mobile first aid kit had been able to do little in the face of his injuries, blood lay thick and dark on the floor so that each of them had stained knees and hands where they crouched in it.  
  
"In theory no" Giles assured her, "but I've never seen a vampire loose so much, he doesn't seem to be healing, I don't understand."  
  
"He's only had butchers blood since he came back" Dawn remembered, "maybe he needs human blood to heal"  
  
"Well that would certainly help, but where..." he trailed off as her intention became clear, she rolled up her sleeve moving her arm towards his lips.  
  
"No Dawn" Buffy's voice was strong and commanding, she looked up from the vampire who's head she'd cradled in her lap.  
  
"Don't try and stop me Buffy" Dawn hissed angrily at her sister, "if I can help him I will"  
  
Buffy grabbed her arm as it moved again towards the vampire's mouth, "No Dawn, the plan"  
  
Dawn frowned knowing her sister was right, Willow needed her precious blood to fight Velmorick's power. "We can't just do nothing" she insisted.  
  
Buffy didn't answer she merely rolled up her own sleeve and put out her hand for a blade.  
  
Angel had been silent and immobile for the whole journey, Spike was back, back for a fiery death in the hellmouth. Spike who had saved the world was back and possibly bleeding to death in the back of a van in Cleveland. He saw Buffy roll up her sleeve to feed the vampire and revulsion rose in his stomach, no it wasn't right. His golden perfect Buffy freely offering her blood to an evil disgusting thing like Spike.  
  
"I'll do it" he cut in causing Buffy to look at him in surprise, when she looked about to protest he continued. "You need your strength and sire's blood will heel him faster than anything"  
  
"Do it then" she snapped "quickly"  
  
It occurred to Angel that Buffy had wanted to do it herself, that she had been glad to gift the vampire her blood, she must not know, must believe that he had returned from death with his soul intact. Still, there would be time for that revelation later, now he would have to heal his grandchild or Buffy certainly would.  
  
He pierced his wrist with his own fangs, letting the blood drop over Spikes still lips in an action so reminiscent of siring that he felt a suffocating wave of regret wash over him. His blood had created this creature, this thing that had killed, maimed and tortured his way across the world for a century, he had created him, all that blood was on his hands.  
  
Slowly the mystic power of his demonic blood roused the unconscious demon, his lips parted allowing the healing fluid to slip into his mouth in a steady trickle.  
  
As Spike felt consciousness returning he was aware of only two things, firstly that he was in pain, a lot of pain, he felt as if his body had been put through a mincer. Secondly, that there was powerful vampiric blood running down his throat, familiar and comforting the life giving elixir that could only be his sires, or her sires.  
  
Angel. His eyes shot open to fix on the dark vampire, who's bleeding wrist hovered over his open mouth. Hatred for his grandsire rose in his weak body, for a moment he considered batting the offered wrist away, he needed nothing Angel could offer. But the blood, the inescapable pull of family called to him through the blood, he was a vampire and it had been a long time since he had shared blood with his closest kin.  
  
Ignoring the pain his hand shot out to fasten on Angel's thick forearm, holding it in position as he lifted his mouth to the small wound. His own fangs descended ripping the flesh so that the blood poured freely into his mouth.  
  
Angel let his one time progeny drink until he felt blood loss weaken his own body, then he wrenched his wrist away from the others increasingly powerful grip, and moved away watching with interest as Buffy drew Spike's attention.  
  
"Spike" she whispered her hands stroking his face gently "Are you okay?"  
  
"Slayer" his hoarse voice was barely more than a whisper, he looked slowly down at his own bloodied chest. "Bloody hell" he croaked before passing out again.  
  
......................  
  
Slayer central was a well oiled machine, Buffy had to admit being extremely impressed. On their arrival there had been medical assistance for Spike and one of the girls who's arm had been cut in the fight at the air port, a quick no nonsense debriefing and food and drink for the new arrivals.  
  
Buffy sat with Xander in the large empty canteen, eating sandwiches and sipping on milk shake. "Nice set up they've got here" she commented. "Have you been here before?"  
  
"I pop in and out, but mainly it's field work for me. Helping out new Slayers." He leant back in his chair and smiled at the anxious Slayer across from him, "how you doin' Buff?"  
  
She sighed heavily and scrubbed at her face, "I'm okay, I just wish someone would tell us what's happening"  
  
"Don't worry" he reassured her confidently, "Slayer central has the best of everything, they'll fix your boy up in no time"  
  
"He's not my boy" the response was automatic, a reflex denial that surprised them both. "I mean, he's... It's complicated"  
  
"Ain't it always?" Xander asked, a soft question that could have been mistaken for rhetorical had he not held her eyes so intently  
  
"I was just so happy he was back you know, I thought we could have a new start." She looked past him a rueful expression on her face "But then..." she sighed "Stuff happened and I felt like we where back on square one and, I don't know, it was such a long hard road the first time, can I do it again?"  
  
"Only you can answer that Buffy, but what I know is that if it's really real, that scary no holds barred love I was so wrong in thinking you and Riley coulda had"  
  
She laughed a little then and reached over to take his hand. "If it is" he continued "then you can, because you have a hell of a heart"  
  
Closing her eyes she basked in his gentle, unconditional affection, "thank you" she told him sincerely.  
  
.....................  
  
"He'll be fine B." Faith insisted for the fourth time, "we're pumping him full of A Pos, he'll be all better by tomorrow afternoon. Now you" she physically turned her towards the stairs "room 340. Get. Some. Rest"  
  
Buffy sighed giving in to the dark slayers insistence, "Okay I'm going, see you later"  
  
The room was cheap but comfortable looking with a small double bed, but no shower, God she was exhausted, she stepped out of her shoes and trudged towards the bed.  
  
A sharp knock on the door stopped her, "Buffy are you awake" Angel's worried voice sounded through the hardboard.  
  
"Yep, sure come on in" She sat on the bed rubbing her sore feet as he entered.  
  
"Buffy" that gentle reverence that always accompanied her name on his lips, "I need to talk to you, there's something you need to know, about Spike."  
  
Her head shot up, "Is he okay?" She asked already half way to her feet. He stopped her gently and sat them both down on the bed before continuing.  
  
"He's on the mend, but, Buffy, I'm sorry to tell you this, but..."  
  
"Spit it out Angel" worry fuelled her annoyance making her harsh.  
  
"His soul. He doesn't have it anymore" he watched her reaction, the confused crease of her forehead and annoyed shake of her head, not what he'd expected.  
  
"So?" she asked bluntly, her eyes fixed challengingly on his  
  
"So?" he asked incredulously. "Buffy do you even know if he still has that chip?"  
  
"Yes" she replied disinterestedly as she took her foot in her hands again.  
  
"Well that's something then, but even so Buffy we need to be careful, he could still..."  
  
"I mean yes I know if he still has the chip" she interrupted him, not looking up "he doesn't"  
  
He watched her for a moment, processing her casual revelation that William the Bloody was loose in Slayer central without a muzzle. "Have you gone crazy?" he asked angrily jumping to his feet, "You brought him here! What where you thinking Buffy?"  
  
She looked up at him narrowing her eyes, who the hell did he think he was? "I was thinking we can't fight Marcus without him." She told him haughtily "I was thinking we need him here, I need him here" her eyes shone with defiance, daring him to question her judgment or authority.  
  
"Buffy" His voice was soft again, oh so gentle, oh so calm and reasoning, what the hell did Angel have against a nice shouting match, "I know that what he did for you, for all of us, before he died, meant a lot to you. But you mustn't let it cloud your judgment, he has no soul, he's not the same person"  
  
"Pfft" she waved her hand at him dismissively, "You don't know him?"  
  
"I created him" Angel countered, "I think I know him"  
  
"Not anymore, he's different now. He's here to help Angel, it's not up for discussion, we need him" her voice was firm, full of an authority, he opted for discretion over valour and changed track.  
  
Looking down at her hands where they had resumed tending to her tired feet, he breathed a sigh of relief. "Well at least you haven't done anything stupid?" he said, inclining his head towards her hand.  
  
"Eh?" she questioned idiotically.  
  
"You still have your engagement ring" he clarified, "I was worried for a moment that you where throwing everything away over this"  
  
.............. 


	25. A plan explained

"Feeling better?" Dawn asked quietly when he began to stir.  
  
"Not really" he grumbled, but his voice was strong enough to tell her he was okay, "feel like someone used my chest for target practice" he opened his eyes and managed a weak grin, "Oh that's right someone did"  
  
Her eyes twinkled and she gave him an indulgent smile, "You gonna be on your feet for the big briefing this afternoon?" she asked, "You've got a couple of hours yet"  
  
"I'll be there," he told her, pulling himself up into a sitting position "plans all set then?"  
  
"Willow's had her head in musty magic books all morning and Giles and Faith have been doing their battle strategy thing. So I'm guessing we're good to go" she leaned back and looked at the ceiling, "Giles asked if I'd rather Angel do it" she paused looking back at him, "you know the biting" she watched the hurt of rejection flash behind his eyes, and hurried on, "I said no, I wanted you. Is that okay, will you be strong enough?"  
  
He smiled at her affection and pride written on his face. "If you trust me too?" She nodded and he continued with mock offence. "Course I'll be bloody strong enough, cheeky little chit"  
  
The sound of the door opening interrupted their budding banter. "You're awake." Willow sounded surprised as she entered the room, Xander at her heels.  
  
"Er, yeah" the vampire replied looking questioningly at Dawn who just shrugged.  
  
"We, er, we came to, to see if you were. Awake that is" Willow babble. "But not just that, we, er..."  
  
"Good to see you alive and well" Xander came to his friends aid, plopping himself down on the neighbouring bed, "well figuratively speaking of course"  
  
"How are you feeling?" Willow's brow was creased in genuine concern.  
  
"Been better." Spike grumbled self consciously, oddly touched by her concern. She was a sweet girl shouldn't be worrying herself about a monster like him.  
  
He watched curiously as she poked Xander in the ribs with her elbow and gave the young man a pointed look. "Oh yeah" he delved into the bag at his side pulling out a bottle of cheap scotch, "Best the local Quickie Mart could offer" he smiled apologetically.  
  
Spike raised his eyebrows questioningly at the two friends, "Kinda a thank you" Willow clarified, "For saving Xander"  
  
"Oh" Spike expression was delightfully nonplussed and Dawn had to stifle a giggle at his awkward acceptance, "Er thanks. I, er, it was nothing"  
  
"Nothing to you maybe" Xander responded, "But a chest fulla bullets woulda done nothing for my figure" he paused fixing the vampire with a serious look, "I owe you one" he told him sincerely, offering his hand.  
  
Spike leant forward shaking the outstretched hand firmly. "Anytime mate"  
  
................................  
  
"So the slayer still lives?" Marcus asked, not looking up from the map spread out in front of him.  
  
"Yes sire" Solomon responded plainly, he had failed and he would offer no excuses, make no pleas for clemency, he was Vaith. "The witch's power was greater than I anticipated sire, she undid the cloaking spell in moments."  
  
He straightened his back, standing to his full height, he remembered his father, a noble and courageous warrior, telling him once that there is no shame in failure, there is only shame in hiding from your failure. Honour, a Vaith's code, he had pledged his sword to Marcus and he had failed, his life was forfeit, honour demanded.  
  
"Are the preparations made, have the generals they're orders?" Marcus asked glancing up at his lieutenant.  
  
"Yes sire, all is ready" he replied professional to the last. "The divisions are in position, ready to move on your mark."  
  
"And the shaman?"  
  
"Arrived not an hour ago, sir" he waited for long moments until it became clear Marcus was not going to speak. "Sire" he began, "my Kimidel. It is time"  
  
Marcus looked up confusion creasing his handsome features, "Kimidel?" he asked. "I'm not familiar with that word"  
  
"Kimidel, sire, is the sacrifice of life, for honour" Solomon's voice was gravely and solemn. "The price of failure"  
  
Marcus gave an amused chuckle, "you Vaith" he tutted, shaking his head, "so old fashioned. No Kimidel for you I'm afraid Solomon, you'll just have to live with the failure. I need you to guard the sanctuary during the battle, it's unlikely but..." he trailed of distracted by his own thoughts  
  
"Sire?" the question drew his attention slowly back to his lieutenant. "During the alignment, our shaman will be here at the Sanctuary to perform the channelling ritual" he explained, "It's unlikely that our enemies have any knowledge our lord Velmorick's power, but we can take no chances, you will retain a small force of my most trusted demons here at to protect the temple"  
  
"As you command sire" Solomon bowed stiffly. He had been granted the opportunity to redeem his warrior's honour. He swore a silent oath to his ancestors that the temple would not fall to their enemy.  
  
........................  
  
Buffy was having a really weird dream. In her dream she and Willow where making chocolate chip cookies in Giles' old house in Sunnydale.  
  
"I think they're baked" Willow commented looking at the oven. "We should get them out"  
  
"We can't" her dream self cautioned, "they might not be ready"  
  
Willow laughed at her and picked up a brightly covered oven mitt. "We won't know till we taste them," the redhead told her sagely as she opened the door.  
  
"Don't" Buffy shouted urgently, "they're not done" But Willow was already placing the delicious smelling biscuits on a cooling plate.  
  
"Careful" Willow warned. "They're hot"  
  
"I can handle it" Buffy told her confidently as she reached out for a cookie. It was delicious, warm and sweet in her mouth, she smiled to herself, they tasted just like the ones her mom used to make when she and Dawn were little.  
  
"Don't I get a cookie?" a deep accented voice asked behind her. She leant forward and picked up a cookie, blowing on it to cool it, before turning to offer it to him.  
  
"...sunshine most of the day, temperatures around..." she leant over and slammed her hand down on the radio alarm clock. She sat up and stretched yawning noisily, strange how sleeping in the day always seemed to make her feel even more tired.  
  
Leaning over to see the luminous digits of the clock's display she noticed the glittering band of diamonds and gold, she reached for the ring, turning it over in her fingers so that it flashed in the late morning light and sighed, she hadn't corrected Angel, she'd merely nodded and pleaded exhaustion till he left her to sleep.  
  
Had she thrown everything away? A whole new life, a wonderful man? Richard was everything she should want, he was kind and considerate, loyal to a fault and he loved her. Oh how he loved her, he would have given her anything, done anything to please her and she had broken his gentle heart with barely a second thought.  
  
Maybe he'd take her back, she could head back to California, bury her head in the sand and pretend none of this had happened. Pretend Spike hadn't come crashing back into her life all noise and thunder, pretend she wasn't helplessly in love with the man that tried to rape her sister.  
  
'Almost.' She heard Dawn's voice in her head, 'he stopped'. Did it make any difference? The intent was there, rape, violence, murder, just par for the course for a creature like Spike. She flopped back down onto her back, eyes studying the ceiling, her mind drifted to the airport, conjuring images of Spikes body jerking uncontrollably as bullets riddled his chest. He had saved Xander today, without Angel's blood he could've died, was that a monster?  
  
"Uch!" she grunted in frustration, rising from her bed and padding over to desk on the far side of the room. She riffled through the draws until she found a small brown paper envelope. She sealed the ring inside and scribbled an address on the front before dropping it into her bag. No going back now.  
  
.......................  
  
Slayer central was buzzing with anticipation. Young girls with newly sharpened swords and fresh stakes milled about in the main briefing hall, only half listening to last minute advice from their protective watchers.  
  
Word had spread like wild fire, Buffy Summers had arrived and she was legend. Most of the girls had served with the veteran slayers of Sunnydale, or had heard their story through the grapevine. Buffy Summers, The Slayer, the source, the visionary that had given them the power they now wielded.  
  
"Settle down" Faith's voice boomed over the chatter, instantly silence descended, tense and expectant.  
  
"Now we know we got a war to fight" she told them, "and we're ready" She paused for effect, funny how easily she of all people had taken to the role of General in the army of Slayers. "The odds are against us, yeah it's true. But anyone who was in Sunnydale 'll tell you they always are" a murmur of agreement from the veterans.  
  
"But we got ourselves a plan, and we got ourselves some reinforcements" she indicated to the group sharing the raised platform with her. "The original gang from Sunnydale, most of you know Xander" He raised a hand in greeting. "An you've all heard of Willow Rosenberg" a excited murmur rippled through the crowd, the witch that had made it all possible, yeah they'd heard of Willow Rosenberg. Faith ignored the interruption and pressed on "and Buffy Summers"  
  
Instantly the crowd quieted, each slayer and watcher studying the petite blonde, such a little thing, most had expected her to be taller, more imposing. But looks can be deceiving, they were all proof of that, the Slayer's power was not doubted.  
  
"Hi" Buffy greeted, not in the slightest bit unnerved by their awed scrutiny, the Slayer was in charge, and she had work to do.  
  
"Some of you know me, some of you don't. It doesn't matter. What matter's is that we know how to fight Marcus, we know where his power comes from," She indicated to willow, "and we have the means to fight it"  
  
"What we need from you is..." she was cut off when the door sung open, banging noisily against the wall.  
  
"Starting without me pet?" His voice was honey and fine wine, suggestive and assured as he swaggered across the room towards the stage.  
  
Whispered questions filled the hall, "Who?" young slayers asked they're mentors, who asked they're section leaders, who asked the veterans of Sunnydale, "Spike" the reply filtered back, leaving the hall in stunned silence.  
  
Spike. The vampire who had loved the slayer. Whose love had led him on a quest for a human soul, and had eventually burned brighter than the sun to destroy the hellmouth. Their young romantic hearts had embraced his story, embellishing it with each telling.  
  
Buffy Summers was legend, William the Bloody was myth.  
  
.........................  
  
"Is that really Spike?" Jenna whispered in Rona's ear, her eyes riveted to the handsome slight built man standing at the blond slayer's shoulder  
  
"Yeah that's Spike," she told the younger girl, "I trained with him back in Sunnydale when I was a potential." She paused, enjoying the girl's awed gasp. "Didn't always see eye to eye with him, none of us did, but Buffy believed in him, and he came through in the end."  
  
"Meet Spike." Buffy's strong voice called the hall to order. "Now you all know who and what he is. Now if anybody has a problem with him being here" she let her eyes travel threateningly over the crowd. "Now's the time"  
  
She let the implied threat hang in the ensuing silence. "Good" her tone was business like again, "now here's the plan"  
  
"Marcus wants this war tonight" she told them, "he picks the time, we pick the place" she stepped to the side indicating to the large map projected onto the wall behind her. "Breaker's Field. It's easily defended and has good visibility, Faith and the main force of the Slayers, alpha through gamma section, will hold the hill. Vi, your force will take cover in the woods to the left, once they attack the hill you will flank them. That leaves Rona and delta section on the right, the covers not good here so you'll hold off until you can attack their rear."  
  
She stopped looking to the section leaders for nods of ascent. "Now here's the kicker, at midnight an astral alignment will allow Marcus to channel power into his army, making each demon twice as strong and virtually unkillable. Giles, could you" she indicated vaguely at the slayers.  
  
"Of course" he cleared his throat and removed his glasses nervously. "Marcus will channel the power of the demonic god Velmorick through the amulet he wears around his neck, and an effigy of the god housed in an underground temple. Fortunately. Thanks to information provided by, er, Spike." He nodded awkwardly in the vampire's direction "We know the location of this temple, Buffy and the elite unit will attack there just before midnight. Once inside Willow will attempt to hijack the magical conduit created during the alignment and use it to destroy or at least severely weaken Marcus' army. The key to the success of this plan is timing"  
  
"We get there too soon, there's no channel for us to use, too late and we have an unstoppable demon army to contend with" Buffy explained. "If we succeed you'll know, if we don't your only chance is to get to Marcus and destroy the amulet"  
  
"Your section leaders have detailed orders" Giles told them, "we move at sunset".  
  
..................  
  
A/N  
  
Hey RavensHaelo, I guess Angel's just seeing what he wants to see. Is that in character or what?  
  
Very encouraging to know you think that Aubrey. I promise I'll keep going 


	26. A gift of power

"Quite the entrance" Buffy's voice startled him from his thoughts. He looked up from the half smoked cigarette he'd been contemplating.  
  
"Yeah well" he seemed embarrassed "gotta keep up the image" he dropped his eyes again unwilling to hold her open gaze. "You need something Slayer?" he asked through a heavy sigh.  
  
"Just some pre battle company is all" she stated lightly coming to sit next to him on the cold back stairs.  
  
"From me?" he asked incredulously. "Slayer head back over to your mates"  
  
"Don't wanna" she let the silence hang for a while watching his pensive face. "What's up?" she asked softly, "you look like you got something on your mind." She frowned a little, "I mean other then the impending bloody death of us all" her gallows humour didn't raise a smile.  
  
"Angel should do it," he told her not looking up.  
  
"Eh, do what?" she asked her head tilting endearingly to the side, God but she was beautiful, almost childlike in her gestures.  
  
"Be your mystical vessel or whatever" he caught her eyes with his, "my fangs shouldn't be anywhere near the nibblet and we both know it. Even if she won't see it."  
  
She regarded him with open puzzlement. He seemed so contrite, so regretful, years of slayer training told her it was impossible, but her heart disagreed. "She chose you Spike, she trusts you" she emphasised the word you, her voice dropping and her eyes boring into his.  
  
"She shouldn't" was his sharp reply, "you know that better then anyone. Trusted me once yourself, didn't you? Look where it got you" he sighed rubbing at his face, "Slayer, Buffy, please talk to her, make her see..." he trailed off when he felt her hand come to rest on his arm.  
  
"Its okay Spike" she tried to sound firm, but her voice came out like a whisper.  
  
"No it's not" he responded in kind, "what if I hurt her, what if I take to much, or I can't stop, I...."  
  
"You can do it Spike" she interrupted, "you can do this and keep her safe." She told him sincerely "I believe in you"  
  
.........................  
  
"You can come out now" Spike said after Buffy ran off telling him she had something for him, his tone was conversational and relaxed, but the set of his shoulders told Angel all he needed to know about the others mood.  
  
"Spike" his voice was laden with disgust as he stepped into view.  
  
"Angelus" Spike greeted with elaborate bonhomie, "Good to see you, how's my old grandsire?"  
  
Angel ignored the attempt to irritate him. "What are you doing here?" he asked taking a menacing step towards the seated vampire, "What are you up to?"  
  
Spike came to his feet casually, un-intimidated by his grandsires posturing, he sneered at Angel. "Here to help" he told him, "just like you" he smirked as if amused by his own thoughts "I want to save the bloody world"  
  
"Save it for Buffy" Angel dismissed his declaration, "I know what you are Spike, so I'm telling you, go now, stay away from Buffy and I might decide not to kill you"  
  
"Oooohh!" Spike couldn't resist the opportunity to needle the dark vampire, "Some ones jealous. Thinks I'm gonna seduce his precious Slayer" He paused leaning in and adopting a conspiratorial tone, "again"  
  
He stepped back and regarded the fuming vampire in front of him. "Don't remember much about what happened in Sunnydale," he told Angel his tone pleasant, as if he were making small talk with an old friend. He tilted his head and ran his tongue suggestively over his teeth, "but I do remember her screaming my name till she was hoarse"  
  
Angel sung sloppily at him, an easy block and a hard punch in the nose put distance between the two again. "Now, now Angelus, play nice, wouldn't wanna upset the Slayer now, would you?"  
  
"I mean it Spike, I won't let you hurt her again." The words felt like a punch in the gut, stopping him in his tracks and stealing the unneeded breath from his body. He stepped back to lean heavily against the wall as images of Buffy's hurt and frightened face rose in his mind, and guilty tears pricked his eyes, he squeezed them shut, not now, not in front of Angel.  
  
"She doesn't need you Spike" Angel pursued sensing weakness, "she has her friends and family, her fiancé, the people she loves." He relished Spike's violent flinch at the mention of Buffy's intended. "She doesn't need a thing like you, maybe she did once, but she wasn't herself then, she'd been through something terrible and she used you to punish herself. She's better now, she's only letting you hang around because she's soft hearted. Do yourself and the rest of us a favour and fk off"  
  
Spike swallowed hard and met his grandsire's stern stare, his own eyes glassy with tears. Damn Angel for being right. The disjointed and broken memories of his time with the slayer told a story of self destruction and abuse, of a lost and frightened girl seeking comfort in sex and violence. "Will ya tell the nibblet I'm sorry?" he asked softly pushing off the wall and running a hand over his face.  
  
"Sure, just go, I'll make sure Dawn understands" Angel encouraged, anxious for Spike to leave before Buffy came back.  
  
"What the hell is going on here?" Too late. The slayers angry voice turned both vampires around to face the furious girl.  
  
"Nothing to worry about pet" Spike tried to placate her, "just talking battle strategy with gramps. I'm just gonna go see is Dawn's all set" he backed away, he'd made his decision, he had to leave now, if he stayed, if he looked at her he'd never do it, he was too weak, too selfish to walk away.  
  
"Stay where you are" she ordered, her hand raised as if the gesture could physically keep him there. "Angel" she turned her angry glare on her first love, "you and I had this conversation last night. I told you then and I'll tell you again. I. Need. Spike."  
  
She didn't let herself look at him but she felt his reaction, felt the tension stiffen his body and sharpen his eyes, she could picture his face, his posture, perfectly in her minds eye. "Buffy, we don't need him, we can find the temple without him" Angel was talking, trying to persuade her.  
  
"I didn't say we" she held his gaze letting him know how serious she was, "I said, I need him. Go away Angel, Faith wants to go over some things with you"  
  
"Buffy" He tried again moving towards her, hands coming up as if to take her elbows.  
  
"Go" her voice was low, but the command in it was unmistakable. He left, sending Spike a deathly look that went unnoticed as the younger vampire kept his eyes trained on the floor.  
  
..........................  
  
When he finally managed to raise his eyes and look at her he truly wished he hadn't, she was looking at him with big wet eyes, and expression of bemused pain on her beautiful face. "You're going to leave me" she accused in a whisper, tears spilling over to run down her rosy cheek.  
  
Weak as he was he gave in, resolve melting away in the face of her tears. "Pet," he moved forward one hand coming to rest on her arm, the other raised to brush stray tears from her soft skin. "I have to, I can't be around you, I can't risk hurting you again"  
  
She shook her head unable to find words, he couldn't leave her again, he'd only just come back. "Spike" she tried not to sound as if she was begging, but she knew her eyes gave her away. "You don't" her hands where gripping his forearms with bruising force.  
  
"Buffy" his voice was a husky warning, filled with regret and desire as his hand cupped her cheek more firmly. She didn't let him finish, a slender finger pressed against his lips, cool and soft under her heated skin.  
  
"Ssshh" she commanded softly drifting closer to him, the irresistible pull of his body drawing her in. This is crazy, Buffy told herself firmly, after everything he's done, everything you know he's capable of. Stop it. Just stop it. But one of his strong hands had slipped under her hair to tilt her head back and the other was caressing the curve of her hip.  
  
She held his eyes as he dipped his head towards hers, letting them fall shut only when his lips hovered scant centimetres above her own. Immediately images flashed across the screen of her mind, her own anguished face drawn in charcoal grey, Dawns torn blouse, Spike's pained face when he told her what he'd done.  
  
She moved away, but he'd beaten her too it and was already backing towards the open door, "I'll stay for the battle" he told her, "then I'll go. You know I have to. Maybe I'll come back when..." he trailed off looking away from her.  
  
Her mind flashed back the motel the half forgotten scribblings alongside Dawn's smiling face, the name of a demon and a location in Africa. He was going to do it again, cross hell and earth to reclaim what Drusilla had stolen from him so long ago, face the trials and win a soul, for her.  
  
"Spike" she tried again conflict tearing at her heart, a soul, a moral guarantee, a muzzle a hundred times more effective then any piece of silicon. If he had a soul they could put it all behind them, the attack on Dawn, on her, would be another creature's crime, he would be absolved.  
  
With a human soul his hands wouldn't smear the crimson blood of countless innocents on her skin when he touched her, his kisses wouldn't condemn her as a killers consort. It'd be okay, if he had a soul no one would judge her.  
  
"No slayer" he was backing away, "just don't say anything. It's almost time, I have to talk to Dawn" with that he was gone, a tactical retreat in their running emotional battle.  
  
She stared after him, fingers unconsciously stroking cool leather, she looked down at the heavy black coat, damn, she had meant to give it to him for the battle.  
  
........................  
  
Angel was glaring at Spike, Spike was staring at Dawn, Dawn was looking apprehensively at Buffy, and Buffy was sending Angel angry accusing looks, that Willow was surprised hadn't turned him to ashes already.  
  
Giles spoke, breaking the circle, "I believe it's time, for, er, for..." he faltered as if suddenly losing faith in the wisdom of their course. "Time for Dawn to, er, transfer her, um..."  
  
"Oh for..." Dawn interrupted exasperated, "come on Spike you're up, it's drinky time"  
  
Spike stepped forward diffidently his eyes capturing hers, gentle and questioning, "here?" He asked sounding slightly panicked, "Pet you might wanna" He gestured with his thumb towards a private room. "It can be a little intense, maybe..."  
  
"Here" It was Angel that cut him off, "you think we'd let you bite her without us keeping an eye on you. How stupid do you think we are?"  
  
"You want me to answer that you bloody ponce" Spike spat, glaring at his grandsire over his shoulder, Angel may have been right about his leaving, but that didn't mean he was going to let the big poof accuse him of planning to hurt Dawn.  
  
"It's fine here" Dawn rolled her eyes in frustration, "come on guys, it's really no big"  
  
Both vampires gave her incredulous looks but neither spoke. She stepped closer to he favourite vampire, pulling back glossy hair to expose her pale throat. "Ready?" she asked nervousness making her sound impatient  
  
Spike swallowed hard, suddenly overly aware of the sound of her heartbeat, accelerating despite her calm façade. He could smell her too, sweet skin and hot blood just beneath. Bollocks, he couldn't do this, he could hear Buffy's shallow breathing behind him this was all wrong he couldn't do this not here, not in front of Buffy.  
  
He took a step back ready to bolt when the slayer was suddenly at his side, her hand on his elbow stopping him, "It's okay" she reassured him, "If you don't want us here we can go" she held his eyes, letting the implied trust shine in the intensity of her gaze.  
  
"Buffy, are you insane" Angel's outraged voice shattered the moment leaving them both blinking. Spike cast an irritated glance at the dark vampire, bloody bastard thinking he'd hurt the nibblet. Resolve straightened his back. He'd show him.  
  
Two smooth steps forward and he had her held gently in his arms, one arm loosely around her slim waist, the other reaching around to gently coax stands of dark silky hair off her neck.  
  
His lips hovered over her the skin as his fangs descended, "You okay?" he asked. Dawn heard the difference in his voice, muffled slightly and knew he was in game face, a half expectant, half frightened shiver ran through her body and she nodded deliberately.  
  
Despite his warning the sharpness of the pain caught her by surprise causing her utter a shrill squeak, fear griped her as his fangs burned into her soft flesh instinct took over and she tried to pull away, his arm tightened around her waist holding her to him as his free had stroking her hair comfortingly.  
  
A moment more of burning pain as his initially delicate sips gave way to strong gulps of her ancient blood, and then a strange sensation of bliss a floating surrender that made her feel at once weak and infinitely powerful. She felt her body go weak and didn't fight it, trusting him to keep her standing. He was growling now the vibrations running through her skin to raise goose bumps, instinctively she raised her hand to draw him closer to her throat.  
  
From her place at the pair's side Buffy could just make out the ridges of Spikes game face, this was the demon at work, the darkness within him that for so long had been an impenetrable wall between them. The same darkness he would cleanse with the burning fire of a human soul  
  
She heard his growls grow louder as he gulped greedily at her sisters blood, his arms tightening around her like a deathly vice. The slayer rose within her, instincts as old as time demanding action, destroy it, her lineage commanded, destroy it now.  
  
She was about to move, hand already reaching for the stake in her waist band when she stopped, letting her heart and mind hold sway for a moment over the raging righteousness of her destiny. His arms where not a prison around her sisters delicate frame but a unbreakable protective circle, his possessive growl claimed her as his, but not as prey, for she was his, his to love, to care for and most of all to protect. His Dawn, his little bit, no demonic instinct could overcome the unremitting protectiveness of his affection. He had proved it already, even with all memories of her eclipsed from his mind, still his heart had known  
  
Dawn's desperate needy moan broke through her musing, she sympathised with her sister, she had once felt the seduction of a vampires bite, the intoxicating force of its demonic lure. But Spike was already pulling away, gently disentangling Dawn's arms from around his neck his hands going to her sisters face, eyes gentle, almost regretful, "You okay pet?" he was asking, his voice soft and concerned, his blue eyes searching her face for reassurance "I didn't hurt you did I?"  
  
"I'm fine" Dawn answered fingering the wound, evidently she had enough blood left to blush crimson, oh God, he had warned her, why hadn't she listened? Buffy had been watching while she tried to climb all over Spike, she was so embarrassed her hands came to cover her face. "Oh God I'm sorry. I'm such a..." she began but he stopped her.  
  
"Not your fault pet" he assured firmly, "nothing to be embarrassed about, it's my nature that's to blame luv, not yours." He ruffled her hair until she batted at his hands and gave him an affectionately annoyed smile. Buffy couldn't help but envy them the simplicity of their relationship, even after the intensity of what had happened still they found they're equilibrium again with consummate ease.  
  
"I reckon we got all the juice you need red" He looked over at the witch, "never tasted anything like it. Like slayer blood, but older, more powerful"  
  
Buffy only half listened while Willow once more outlined the workings of the spell, a frown etched deep on her forehead, when she had heard Spike denounce his demonic nature an unexpected sense of unease had settled on her, a foreboding that left her stomach tying itself in nervous knots that had little to do with the upcoming battle. Spike planned a quest for a soul and that was a good thing. Right?  
  
..........................  
  
Thanks to LadyLuck for reviewing, you get a cookie, everyone else gets a stern look and a disappointed shake of the head. 


	27. A battle commences

"Your certain?" Marcus asked her gently. "That is where they'll make their stand?"  
  
She nodded distractedly, eyes unfocused, head titled to the side as if listening to some unheard voice, "they're like Jack and Jill" she told him with a knowing smile, "tumbling down"  
  
"Well done darling" he leaned in and kissed her long and passionate on the lips. "You stay here my love, Solomon will defend the house, keep you safe"  
  
Her eyes widened, comical and childlike, "who will keep him safe?" she asked in a stage whisper her eyes darting to the Vaith.  
  
He smiled indulgently at her, "Velmorick" he answered as if imparting a great secret to a small child.  
  
She clapped her hands, "Oh I forgot he's coming to the party. Our guest of honour, I wonder if he will dance with me."  
  
"How could he resist" Marcus indulged fingering her silk gown, "you look so beautiful" She smiled and twirled away from him, dancing elegantly to silent music.  
  
"Solomon" Marcus barked, "Spread the word to the generals, we attack Brakers Field an hour before midnight" .......................  
  
Angel noticed two things about Buffy that left him more than a little concerned, firstly she was wearing an oversized black leather duster that looked suspiciously like the one Spike had stripped from the still warm corpse of the New York slayer Nicky Wood, and still more worryingly her diamond engagement ring was conspicuous only by its absence as she griped the aged leather to pull it more tightly around her small frame. There was a chance of course that Buffy had removed it in order to keep it safe during battle, but Angel couldn't help but think that that was wishful thinking, especially considering the glances she was casting at his seemingly oblivious grandchild.  
  
Damn Spike, what had he done to Buffy? How had he got under her skin so badly? She couldn't love him, not really, he was a soulless demon, a creature of unrepentant evil. Perhaps she harboured feelings for the souled version that had fought with her in Sunnydale, but there was no way Buffy could feel anything for Spike, not really.  
  
Spike watched her too, drowned in the coat of a long dead sister, did she know where he'd got the duster? No she couldn't, wouldn't wear it if she did. Just another barrier between them, a barrier only a soul could breech. His mind was made up, as soon as Marcus was defeated, and he was confident they'd win, absolute faith in the small girl alongside him, then he'd leave, go to Africa, face the trials.  
  
"There" Buffy looked down Spikes outstretched arm to see an elegant modern house set in large grounds.  
  
"Nice place" Xander commented dryly. Moving to the slayer's other side, "so what's the plan?"  
  
"Side entrance" Spike told them, "should be able to sneak in commando style"  
  
She turned to the group, the elite force where kited out commando style at least, tight black sweaters and combats. Knives, stakes, swords and crossbows strapped to every inch of their bodies. The elite where Faiths best troops, the Slayer SAS high kill ratios and special training, the best of the very best, she just hoped it'd be enough. "You know what to do, fast and silent" she told them. "Anna, you'll hang back, make sure Giles and Willow get in there. Angel, you and Xander to the left, Spike and I'll take the right"  
  
Curt nods signalled she was understood and then they where spreading out, moving silently towards the house in open formation. She could feel Spike just behind her, moving silently in the darkness, she tuned him out and focused her Slayer sense on the house, definitely defended, she could sense demons up ahead, looks like they'd have to fight their way in after all.  
  
As they approached the house a strangled gasped to her left signalled the first kill of the night.  
  
........................  
  
Faith had never been afraid to fight. Since the age of ten, when she accepted the life pretty much sucked, she had not been afraid to die. But tonight she was afraid. Afraid for the girls under her command, afraid she would fail them. Lead them astray. The irony of her, the eternal loner, being so weighed down with the responsibility for the lives of others that she could barely form a logical series of thoughts was not lost on her.  
  
"Sir" Becky, an advance scout caught her attention, "Still no sign of anything, shall we expand our radius" she waited a long beat for her commander to answer, "Sir?"  
  
"No, recall the lookouts" Faith kept her eyes trained on the distance, "Fighting pairs, form line, he'll be here"  
  
"Sir"  
  
She watched her order spread with efficient speed through the ranks until a thin defensive line formed around the summit of the hill. Looking left she could she Maria Akuba leader of the African contingent standing proudly before her troops, the blade of her sword glistening silver in the moonlight. To the right Lady Jane Parker a Hertfordshire heiress and Vi's second in command moved among the European force offering words of encouragement in six different languages  
  
They where ready, ready as they'd ever be at any rate, nothing to do now but wait. Damn she hated waiting.  
  
.............................  
  
She caught his eyes in the low light, angling her head upward in silent communication. He understood of course, he always did. There had only been two things Spike and Buffy had ever done right together, one of them, well that was the obvious, and the other was fighting. Whether they be side by side or face to face, when they danced, the music cut to their tune.  
  
He cupped his hands, launching her up onto the high roof before moving slowly along the wall towards the group of watchful guards. That's right Spike, just enough noise to make them jumpy, that's it get them looking your way. She heard one of them give a murmured command, sending two burly demons Spike's way, he'd take care of them, that left three for her, she levelled her impact cross bow and waited for the right moment, that's right ugly, just a little to the left and... Whoosh one arrow straight through two hearts, perfect, she dropped down behind the third before it could react dragging a wicked blade across its leathery throat.  
  
Spike was beside her as they crossed the threshold, no magical wards, that was something. She turned back into the night and gestured for the others to follow, confident they could see her clearly backlit in the doorway. ......................  
  
They heard them long before they saw them, the thunders sound of thousands of demon feet, driven on by the relentless hammering of their drums. At their front came Marcus' cannon fodder, huge mindless Fyral and Melick demons, too blood thirsty and stupid to realise they where little more than a sacrifice, further back came his best troops, the ones Marcus' planned to still have alive when the alignment came, cunning vampire's and fierce Vaith, powerful Apeathens, poisonous Trex and tens of species Faith didn't recognise.  
  
Watching the approaching army Mari-Claude was reminded of her history teachers vivid descriptions of Napoleon's columns marching under a burning gold eagle towards the seemingly fragile thin red line of Wellington's forces, for once her patriotic heart was glad that the British had won.  
  
The column was an awesome sight, terrifying and magnificent, a diverse army of demons united in a rhythmic chant of Marcus' name. There where so many more than they could ever have anticipated, Bedrogs screeched as they circled above the marching horde adding to the cacophony of sound. The line faltered, a step back rippling for one frightened slayer to the next, Faith felt it rather than saw it, felt uncertainty and fear spreading like a virus through the troops.  
  
She took a step forward, deliberate and decisive, and felt them steady behind her, felt their unconditional trust in her, the faith they placed in her judgement, God please let them be right. "Come on B" she mumbled to herself "we're gonna need you." ...............  
  
It was going well, better then expected, between them they had killed all the perimeter guards without raising the alarm, and so far they'd met no resistance within the house. Spike stopped, getting his bearings, she waited, no need to worry he'd work it out. He moved left and she followed, funny how it never occurred to her to doubt him.  
  
Angel and Xander where directly behind her, then Giles and Willow surrounded by a protective circle of Slayers. Faith's orders had been clear, get the witch to the temple at all costs. If she'd had the time Buffy would have been surprised and impressed by Faith's unquestioned authority, by the fierce loyalty of her troops.  
  
"Just through there" Spike leaned in close to whisper, Ok Buffy this is not the time to be distracted by sexy vampires lips on your ear, focus. She caught his eye from the briefest moment before turning to the others to wave them forward through the double doors to Marcus' private chambers.  
  
Ah, maybe not going quite so well after all. Within the large room where at least a hundred demons, she recognised the large horned demon that was obviously their leader as Vaith, nasty fierce bastards that took a hell of a lot of killing.  
  
She heard Angel warn the Slayers to stay clear of the two Trex demons paralysing venom. "Swords" she commanded drawing her own weapon, "beheading 'll work on all of these." It was more than an order to her team, it was a threat, said loudly so that the facing demons could clearly hear her.  
  
Unsurprisingly it was Spike who broke the tense stand off, launching himself at the demons with a savage growl, Buffy followed immediately unable to stop herself emitting an answering growl of her own.  
  
............................  
  
Stella could make him out clearly from her advanced position in the trees to the advancing columns left. It had to be him. Pretentious bastard, done up like bloody royalty with his gold armour and black horse, what was this the bleeding middle ages? She levelled her bow, even at this range she could hit him, she was one of Vi's best marksmen accurate at 300 yards.  
  
Taking a calming breath she trained her eye along the arrow, fixing it on Marcus' throat, no way she could penetrate the armour at this range, but she could certainly incapacitate him. Her finger closed around the trigger letting the mechanism spring forward to release the arrow. Suddenly Vi was in front of her the arrow in her hand, caught even as it left the bow.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" her commander asked, voice low and full of warning.  
  
Stella stood to attention eyes trained straight ahead "I had a clear shot Sir" she justified herself.  
  
"Your orders to remain hidden until we can attack their flank" Vi dropped her voice to a threatening hiss "Is that in anyway unclear?"  
  
"No Sir, but I believe I could have taken out their leader"  
  
"Brilliant! That would only have left another two thousand demons to fight. Without Marcus Buffy can't execute the plan and we will all die, do you understand?"  
  
"Yes Sir" Stella felt foolish but she kept her back straight and her head held high.  
  
"Good, hold your fire"  
  
..................  
  
A/N thanks for the reviews, always make the bear happy and warm slightly patronising smile replaces her stern look. "Well done children you're all very clever, you've done very well"  
  
Readers scowl at her and determine that if they bother to review her story again it will only be to criticise her appalling grammar. "I'm sorry" pleads the bear "I didn't mean it, please review, I'd appreciate it and I promise to show proper respect in future"  
  
Readers roll their eyes at her pathetic grovelling and wander off muttering to themselves.  
  
.......  
  
Don't know why I wrote that, none of my coding has worked today at work and I think I may have gone mad :-)  
  
Thanks LadyLuck, someone had to be the bad guy in my story and Angel got the job, oh yeah incestuous Marcus and his baby eating generals, also not good.  
  
Hello Peta, glad you like, that's the question, guess you'll have to keep reading to find out ;-)  
  
Never doubted it Elle, cheers for reviewing  
  
That's right RavensHaelo, you know when the bear looks at you with a look, you know you have to mend your wicked ways. Spuffy comes and spuffy goes hopefully my little tease (Buffy distracted by sexy vamp lips) will keep you going for now  
  
Take care,  
  
Kisses TheBear 


	28. A small victory

"Wait" Faith's command echoed through the section and team leaders, rippling down the line, "Wait"  
  
She took a deep breath holding her nerve in the face of the charging horde of Fyral, "wait!" just a little closer, just a little, "Fire!"  
  
The front rank loosed their bolts in a flurry of pings and whooshes, the leading demons fell, crashing heavily to the ground, to trip and slow their comrades following behind. "Fire!" the second rank fired another devastating volley of crossbow bolts. There was no need to order the reload, "Fire at will" she commanded raising her own bow.  
  
Each Slayer managed another five or six arrows before the leading rank of demons smashed into their line, order gave way to chaos, directive to instincts, as the girls ceased to be an army and became what each one truly was, a slayer and the Slayer fights alone.  
  
Faith had felt it before, alongside Buffy when they had been the chosen two and again in the hellmouth years later. She had felt how even with your sisters at your side you where ultimately alone, because you are a slayer and that's how it works, looking left and right as she fought she saw girls fiercely swinging razor sharp blades and wicked looking battle axes, their faces contorted with their battle cries, slayers everyone of them. True they where horribly outnumbered, and if Buffy failed they would surely all die tonight, but my God would they go down fighting.  
  
.................  
  
Vi gave the order to move just moments after she saw Marcus' column slam into the Slayer's line, her relatively small force crashing violently into the demons' flank. Surprise bought them only a few moments, a few precious moments, when they could kill without resistance. Then a section broke from the column, turning to face Vi's girls, claws and fangs flashing in the moonlight.  
  
..................  
  
Rona had never in her life felt so useless, waiting, just waiting for the endless procession of Marcus' army to pass. She heard the unmistakable sounds of battle, loudly from the summit of the hill and more subdued from over near the tree line. Her blood screamed for her to join her sisters in battle, the Slayer heritage demanding she take action, that she protect the others.  
  
She waited, attack now and we'll be dead before we get anywhere near that column, just wait, we can't help them if we're dead.  
  
......................... "Willow" Giles pulled her down against the wall with him as she began conjuring a second fireball. The first had cut a bloody swathe in the temples defenders leaving several dead and still more injured.  
  
"Giles" she tried to stand, "I can help"  
  
He pulled her back down shaking his head, "you need all your energy for the spell" he hissed urgently, "let them handle it" he held her unconvinced eyes "it's what they do"  
  
Looking up into the chaos above her Willow could see the Slayers moving with terrifying speed and precision, cut, duck, slash, kick, spin, they were made for this, mystical creatures of war, Giles was right, let them handle it.  
  
................  
  
"Spike" Angel heard Buffy's urgent call as the soulless vampire disappeared beneath a swarm of demons. "Spike" she called again, fear and desperation colouring her voice, as she fought her way towards him.  
  
She disappeared too, swallowed up in a sea of clashing swords and savage blows. He moved to follow, drawn as always to protect her, his beautiful fragile Buffy.  
  
Suddenly she appeared hurtling upwards toward the high ceiling, turning in the air, a perfect tuck somersault that had her slamming back down into her enemies her sword sweeping down with devastating force to crack two skulls simultaneously. Angel beheaded the nearest demon and turned in her direction again, a clearer view now, he saw Spike throw her up into the air before spinning away to avoid the downward strike.  
  
...................  
  
She had to get to Marcus, she could make him out up ahead, a bright beacon in his golden armour, she sidesteps a spray of Trex venom and impaled the creature on her blood-coated sword. No time to check if it was dead, just keep pushing, steadily closer to the bastard responsible for all this. Hell even if they failed, even if B and Willow couldn't pull it off, even if they failed and she couldn't destroy the amulet, even then, that bastard was going down, she'd make sure of it.  
  
..................  
  
She'd lost too many girls already, nearly half her force dead or injured. They'd known the flank was a dangerous mission, but they hadn't realised they'd be quite so badly outgunned. Vi sung her sword again, taking grim satisfaction in the sickening squelch it made as it ripped through the demons cuts, that's for all my girls you bastard.  
  
................  
  
Maria Akuba was dying, she could feel her spirit slipping away, hear the call of the nether world, she fought it for a moment longer, opening her eyes to meet the tearful gaze of her first lieutenant. Gathering her remaining strength she pressed the hilt of her sword into the girl's hand, before closing her eyes to welcome the spirit guardian.  
  
With an anguished roar Ebu rose swinging the mystical Jhas blade in a perfect circle that turned half a dozen vampires to dust.  
  
....................  
  
Xander felt the blood flowing steadily down his left arm, clotting and caking in his shirt. It didn't matter, didn't matter if he bled, he could still swing a sword, still help to safeguard the hundreds of exceptional girls he had personally brought into the family of slayers. His breathing was coming in harsh gasps, his chest constricting with exhaustion, it didn't matter, he could still swing a sword.  
  
................  
  
"Buffy" Spike's timely warning sent her rolling forward, narrowly avoiding the Polgara's skewer. He was at her side when she came to her feet, hell he was always at her side, always had been.  
  
"There?" she pointed to the heavy metal door just feet away from them.  
  
"Probably" he punched an approaching demon, "few more to kill and we can have a proper look" with that he was fighting again, plunging into the fray with vicious enthusiasm.  
  
She followed him in; maybe it was her that was always at his side.  
  
..................  
  
It was too dark, and too chaotic to check her watch so she had no idea how close they were to midnight, no idea how long she had to fight the last few tortuous feet to Marcus. She hoped she had time, hoped she would arrive just in time to know which way things had gone for B, hoped she wouldn't fail if she was needed.  
  
....................  
  
Solomon felt the weight of failure fall upon him, felt himself drowning in it, choking and suffocating on it. His force was decimated, just him and a handful of Apeathons left, powerful warriors true, but the Slayers had fared much better, only a few of their number where dead, just six or seven girls to his butchers bill of almost a hundred. He cast his gaze about the room eyes fixing on the redhead crouching against the far wall, the witch, the powerful sorceress from the airport.  
  
Realisation cold and certain filled his mind, they had brought the witch to sabotage the ritual, to poison lord Velmorick's power and rob his master of his rightful place as leader of all demon kind. He had not failed yet, if her could destroy the witch, Marcus' would be victorious and his honour would be restored.  
  
With a desperate roar he launched himself across the room, whirling his sword around his body like a dervish, cutting a path through the fight towards the witch, a kamikaze manoeuvre designed to sacrifice his own life to ensure the death of his masters enemy, a swing of his sword split a girls stomach, her guts pouring out into her own clutching arms. He took no satisfaction in it, it didn't matter, he was so close, one more swing and the witch would be dead.  
  
Willow's eyes widened in fright as the huge, horned, demon swung its sword towards her. Frozen in fear her magic defensive failed her, she didn't have time throw together the collection of words that could have saved her. I'm gonna die, Oh God I'm gonna die. She closed her eyes and braced for the final strike.  
  
Every fibre of Anna's body demanded she move, to do her duty and protect the witch. Faith and Buffy had each given her the specific responsibility of ensuring Willow made it to the temple. It was important they had told her, more important than any single other duty in this whole war, she must get Willow Rosenberg safely to the temple.  
  
She wasn't afraid, she was a slayer and death was part of her heritage, she was proud in that last moment proud to sacrifice herself for the witch, for the other slayers, for the world, but most of all she was proud that she had not failed her leader that when the dust settled Faith would know that she had done her duty well.  
  
Willow opened her eyes to see the girl, Anna was it? Fall to the floor just feet in front of her, eyes open and lifeless, blood pooling in her flaxen hair. The demon was still standing above her clawed hands clutching at the hilt of the sword protruding from its chest, for a moment it looked at her before it's eyes fell heavily shut and it toppled to the floor  
  
................................  
  
"Go" Finally Rona gave the order to attack. The girls moved eagerly forward, quickly covering the open ground between them and the rear of the column. Anger and frustration carried them forward, swords raised, eager to make amends for their time spent crouching hidden in the darkness while their sisters fell on the field.  
  
.................................  
  
The door was heavy steel, held shut by a coded electronic lock, Buffy frowned at it, damn she had not planned for this. "I can open it" Willow told her, "I'll have to use magic, but I..."  
  
"No" Buffy cut her off, hand raised "we've got time, we'll get it open, you need every drop of magic for the ritual"  
  
Spike appeared at her side a large metal bar in his hands and she couldn't help but smile, that was her Spike, brute force and ignorance, just like her. She took the bar and wedged it in the door.  
  
.......................  
  
Angel felt the door move a little more and indicated for one of the girls to help him. Spike and Buffy had worked on the door for five minutes before handing over to him, now they where sitting together on the far side of the room talking in low whispers, he strained his hearing to try and catch their conversation as her pushed against the bar.  
  
"So it's not wearing off or anything?" she asked, barely resisting the temptation to brush her fingers gently over the angry bruise on his jaw. "You still all keyed up?" she laughed at her own pun making him roll his eyes and give her a faux annoyed look.  
  
"Yeah" he answered anyway, "Little bit's just fulla surprises, blood like this could keep a fella buzzing for days"  
  
Buffy fought the irrational jealousy that rose in her, she wondered what kind of high her slayer blood would give him and couldn't help but hope it would be better. Maybe they'd find out some day? Okay now that was a weird and oddly exciting thought.  
  
"You okay Slayer?" he asked snapping his fingers in front of her eyes, "no time for spacing out pet"  
  
She flushed prettily making him smile, "I, er was just thinking"  
  
He leaned in close, "what about?" he asked his voice deep and suggestive, his smirk letting her know he had a good idea exactly what direction her errant thoughts had followed.  
  
"Er, about, um" she began, trying desperately to come up with a clever response that would wipe the conceited gin of his gorgeous face. The loud clang as the door sprang free saved her the bother and had them both across the room in the blink of an eye.  
  
"Ready?" she asked Willow  
  
"Ready"  
  
...................................  
  
Thanks for the reviews :)  
  
RavensHaelo, you can't blame Spike for thinking he's unworthy, it's all Buffy ever said to him. Hopefully she'll find a way to make a mends  
  
Michelle, you know one of the scoobies or Angel is always going to try and get between them, that's true to life, hopefully TheBear's version of Buffy will be a bit braver about making her own decisions than Joss' version.  
  
Thanks for saying that Aubrey, I can't be doing with stories where everything's just suddenly rosey between Spike and Buffy. The characters are too stubborn and the relationship is too complex for that to be realistic.  
  
You know he'd do it again for Buffy LadyLuck, he's that kinda guy. I wanted soulless Spike to prove himself all over again, even without his memories fully back his love guides him. (ooh soppy) 


	29. A power struggle

A/N if you want to read something short and fluffy by me then you're in luck, I just posted a little one shot Spuffy Fluff piece with Willow Buffy friendship call "The Best of Friends" why not head over and give it a read?  
  
Sorry about that blatant bit of self promotion. On with the yarn  
  
........................  
  
Buffy managed to swivel her eyeballs left, straining to see Spike frozen beside her, Xander just behind him equally immobile. She forced her unresponsive eyes frontward again desperately ordering her body to move, to surge forward and help her friend.  
  
Willow's fragile body slammed hard against the rock wall of the temple as another bolt of powerful magic struck her square in the chest, Buffy wanted to call out to her friend but her jaw was as paralysed as the rest of her, held prisoner in the cloying magic of this deceptively ordinary looking man, like a mosquito trapped in solidifying amber.  
  
Willow dragged herself to her feet with excruciating slowness her breathing coming in harsh shallow gasps, she hadn't been prepared for this, hadn't thought to focus on combat magic, never in a million years could she have anticipated the brutal power of Marcus' shaman.  
  
"Ministro tutamentum" she raised her hand deflecting the next bolt up into the caverns roof, shards of stone and dirt rained down on her but she ignored it letting the magic itself guide her. "Debello" her own charge of magical destruction hurtling towards the shaman.  
  
He laughed, pathetic mortal, how could a human, even one as powerful as this witch, presume to challenge him. Catching her shot between his outstretched hands he smiled cruelly at her while he turned it over casually before flinging her own magic back to send her flying again.  
  
Willow groaned, the gentle healing and peaceful idealism of the earth magic she had practiced since Sunnydale where no match for the shaman's dark power. For a moment she resisted the thought, weighed the risks and decided the price was too high, then she saw him turn towards her static comrades one hand raised as he gathered his power, he could kill them all, there was no doubt in her mind that he could reduce her friends to ashes with a single phrase.  
  
The decision was made for her, she had no choice but to call on the long dormant well of black magic held prisoner at her very core, she turned her consciousness inwards picturing herself unlocking a heavy iron.  
  
It cried for joy at it's renewed freedom, swirling and rushing through her body until power crackled in her ebony hair and sparked across her fingertips.  
  
"Stop" she commanded, no need now to court the power with pretty Latin. She was the power, pure, savage and blacker than the darkest midnight.  
  
She spun the shaman's body like a fly in the web of her magic, silken and deceptively beautiful, deadly and unbreakable. A cruel tinkling laugh bubbled from her, "Arrogant fool" she hissed her voice gravely "do you know who I am?" She gave him no chance to answer, spinning his suspended body faster and faster, she laughed manically as the sheer velocity began to break the shaman's body. His eyes bulged until they burst in their sockets blood pouring down his face and splattering on the temple walls like a grotesque parody of a contemporary artist at work.  
  
Buffy swivelled her eyes to read the twin looks of horror in Spike and Xander's as they watched, mesmerised by the gruesome spectacle. Looking back she surmised that the shaman was dead long before his arms and legs detached themselves from his body and his skull caved in.  
  
Willow raised a hand to toss the ruined form aside with negligent casualness as she advanced on the group. "Release" she commanded with a nasty grin, "it's no fun if they don't try and fight back"  
  
.....................  
  
Faith ducked low, sheltering behind the massive bulk of a fallen Melick demon, out of sight of Marcus and his personal guard, but close enough that if she had to, she could make a move. She squirmed further beneath the stinking carcass pressing the small button on her wrist watch, the digital display was suddenly illuminated proudly displaying the time as eleven fifty one, God almost time, one way or another it'd be over soon. As she crouched low listening to sounds of battle, the clashing of swords, the cries and screams of pain, the low pitiful moans of the dieing, she could barely bring herself to care which way it went, she was just glad it would soon be over.  
  
.................  
  
"Willow" Buffy tried to break through the shroud of darkness that had engulfed her oldest friend, "please Willow, it's me Buffy"  
  
"I know who you are, Slayer" God was that even Willow's voice? It sounded so deep and hoarse, so distorted by hatred and evil.  
  
"Will" Xander moved cautiously towards the witch, arms outstretched as if in welcome, "Wills listen..."  
  
"Silence" she commanded with a wave of her hand, "you helped her once with your pathetic sentimental words" another wave of her hand and his lips began to merge and seal shut, she smirked as if infinitely amused by the sight, "I wont let you do it again"  
  
"She's in there" Buffy latched on to the admission, "Willow listen you have to fight it, we need you, you have to fight it. I know you can do it Willow, fight it."  
  
With an angry snarl the witch discharged a searing bolt of magic from her fingertips smashing the Slayer hard in the side of the head and crumpling her, stunned, to her knees. "I said silence!" she hissed.  
  
"Willow" Giles' took his turn, "Willow, you can do it, use the white magic, it'll help you"  
  
Willow fought, trapped inside the caverns of her mind, she struggled against the darkness running through her being. She called on the gentle goddess of the earth, summoning the light of her healing power.  
  
"Fight it Red" she heard Spike mumble from his place crouched next to the kneeling slayer"  
  
"Willow" Giles was trying again, desperately trying to reach her, "Willow use the magic"  
  
She was trying, trying so hard to fight the all consuming power of her dark magic, fighting back against it's control with every fibre of her being. Damn it. She was Willow Rosenberg and she would not go down that easily. "Back" she commanded in her mind cracking a surge of powerful white magic like a whip, to beat back the darkness. "Back to your place, and cower there until I call for you" another crack of the whip and she felt it begin to retreat like a whimpering dog, tail between its legs towards it's prison deep in the dungeons of her exceptional mind. "Back" one last powerful command that had it finally locked away.  
  
Willow collapsed forwards into Xander's waiting arms. Her hair once again the colour of autumn leaves, "Are you okay?" he asked, moving his mouth experimentally side to side, popping his jaw.  
  
"I'm okay, I'm sorry" she felt tears of shame prick her eyes, she had nearly killed them all, again.  
  
"Nonsense my dear" Giles patted her comfortingly on the back, "you did quite well"  
  
"No Giles" the tears where flowing freely now, "I totally lost it, I was gonna kill you all. Oh Xander, I'm so sorry I didn't mean..."  
  
"Er, I hate to break up your pity party" Spike's rich voice cut her off, "but is that supposed to be happening"  
  
They turned as one to follow the direction of his outstretched arm, behind them the still bleeding body of a teenage boy lay naked on a low stone slab, around the corpse where magical amulets and herbs in a sand circle. Towering over the slab was a stone effigy of the demon god Velmorick and around it's neck an amber amulet glowing very faintly at its centre"  
  
"It's starting" Buffy took command, "Giles, Willow, quickly we have to do this now" she stepped back giving the pair room to work as they drew their own circle in golden sand alongside the large red one that surrounded the body, the circles touching to form a lopsided figure of eight. Willow sat cross-legged in its centre, "Spike" she called and the vampire to join her as she ran a blade between her palms.  
  
Spike kneeled opposite her taking the proffered blade and slicing his own palms. They joined hands, the blood flowing between their clasped fingers to drip onto the stone floor, as Willow began to chant softly.  
  
"Buffy" Giles whispered urgently, drawing the slayers attention away from the scene, "I'm afraid the fight will have taken too much out of her" he told her sadly, "I don't think she'll be able to pull it off"  
  
"We don't have a plan B Giles" the slayer told him with a slight shake of her head, "She has to pull it off"  
  
....................  
  
Seconds ticked by excruciatingly slowly as the witch and vampire sat motionless save for the slight movement of her pink lips. Looking up Buffy could make out a very high above them in the centre of the temple's domed ceiling, through it she could make out a small section on the night sky, in which three bright stars shone in and almost perfect line, "the alignment" she whispered to Giles indicating to the ceiling with her head.  
  
"Come on Will" Xander encouraged softly to her left, "come on"  
  
Willow could feel the power of Dawn's blood, pouring from the vampires veins, ancient and serene, humbling and empowering her all at once, they where close, she could feel the stars shifting high above them, it was almost time. Just a little more...  
  
A loud thunder crack heralded the midnight hour, as three bright stars formed a perfect line directly above the temples centre.  
  
.....................  
  
The amulet burned around his neck searing the skin with delicious white-hot agony. He thought he heard his own voice cry out in pain, but he might have been mistaken, his mind processed nothing but the power flowing through the amulet, through his body, through his mind.  
  
This was it his destiny, his vision come to life. He felt the infinite well of Velmorick's power open to him, felt it bending to his will as it flowed through the amulet. "These creatures are mine" he declared "Give them strength and make them ever obedient to me"  
  
He could feel the amulet gathering its power to work his will, feel it preparing, shifting, to obey him. It was coming, it was coming.  
  
.................. Willow drew deeply on the power in Spikes blood as she felt the channel to Marcus' amulet begin to form, pulling at the edge of the conduit, trying to dislodge it from effigy and make it her own. She felt herself falter, felt her own power draining from her weakened body. She tried to rob a little of the Key's power but it was already swirling in a impenetrable vortex of contained destruction she willed her self to continue to dig deep into the resources of her mind and body, but it wasn't enough, she needed more.  
  
Buffy watched Willow slump slightly forward, her lips stilling and her dark eyes flickering shut. Damn Giles was right, Willow didn't have enough juice left to complete the ritual. Suddenly she heard Spike's voice in her head, words from earlier that day, words she barely registered at the time. "Like Slayer blood, but older..." of course, Dawn wasn't the only one with power in her blood. Maybe, it might just work.  
  
She grasped the discarded knife and quickly slashed both her palms, before stepping into the circle.  
  
"Buffy no" Giles cried from behind her, too late, she had already broken the magical boundary and paid the price as scorching pain burned her skin, she ignored it, dropping to her knees besides the witch and the vampire she broke one of their joined pairs of hands apart and took one hand in each of hers forming a circle.  
  
Willows eyes shot open and her back straightened as she felt a new surge of power flow through her. She felt the fierce power of the Slayer bolstering her weakened body, lending its fathomless depth to her flattering resources. She felt Buffy, her dearest friend strengthening her mind with love and faith, "You can do it Will" she heard Buffy's voice in her mind, "Take what you need from me, you can do it"  
  
Willow let her head fall back as she absorbed the Slayers power, pouring it into the words of her ceaseless chanting.  
  
.......................  
  
Faith saw the blinding light emanating from the medallion around Marcus' neck and knew Buffy had failed. She had to destroy the amulet before Marcus could use it to create his super army. She surged forward with an enraged battle cry charging towards him.  
  
Romelek felt power surge through his body, sharpening his fangs and claws, fortifying his scaly hide. He had never known such a feeling of strength and he praised his master's name for it. He saw the dark haired slayer charging towards them, her flat out run looking slow and ponderous in his new eyes. He raised an arm with casual disinterest and brushed her aside as if she where a buzzing insect.  
  
He gave a triumphant roar, she was an insect, they where all nothing more than insects now that Marcus had elevated him. "Hail Marcus" he cried, his voice booming over the field.  
  
"Hail!" came the unanimous reply as every demon left standing in Marcus' army felt his gift, "Hail"  
  
.......................  
  
Willow felt the edges of the conduit give and redoubled her efforts, around her she could feel Buffy's power supporting her and the older vastly stronger energy of the key hovering within the vampire's body waiting for it's moment to be release.  
  
One more pull and the conduit broke away from the effigy, she could see it now a swirling magical pipe waiting to deliver her poison arrow right into Marcus' force.  
  
She gripped Spike' hand harder, calling the power out of him and directing it down the conduit, one final command sending it on it's way, "Destroy them all"  
  
......................  
  
Faith landed hard on the ground, all the air escaping her lungs in a painful whoosh as her back slammed against the earth. She struggled to her feet turning back to look at Marcus and almost wept, she had been thrown a good sixty or seventy feet, no way in hell could she get back to him now. She was too late anyway she realised as she listened to the victory chant of the Demon army. Her legs gave way and she fell to her knees, her hands going to her face as she sobbed out her failure and her grief, for her girls and for the world.  
  
....................  
  
Marcus felt the change in the power flowing through him immediately, felt it's intent and tried desperately to repel it. "No" he commanded, one hand going to rip the amulet from around his neck, but it had it's own purpose now and it resisted.  
  
Another bright flash of light, followed by a simultaneous howl of pain from Marcus and all his army as the keys timeless energy worked Willow Rosenberg's will within their bodies, burning and melting them from the inside out.  
  
........................  
  
It was done, Buffy knew it, she could feel Willow's relief, feel the redhead preparing to release them from the circle. She wanted to resist, she didn't want to let go, not yet. She had never felt such connection, such oneness in her life as she had felt here one hand holding Willows firmly, the other buried in Spike's gentle grip.  
  
She had felt Willow's power, her confidence, her desire to do good and it had made her want to cry with affection for her friend. She had felt Dawn too, through Spike, gentle and wiser than she could ever truly fathom and she had felt Spike. Boy had she felt him, his love complete and unconditional welcoming her into the circle, promising her his protection, his loyalty, his life and most of all his heart. He offered himself to her, hers to do with as she pleased, hers to destroy, hers to rebuild as she saw fit but always hers.  
  
Willow released her hand and she felt the connection slipping, felt herself returning to the isolation of her own mind and whimpered in protest. Spike followed the witch's lead and tried to let go of her hand, "No" she heard herself whisper, clutching desperately at his hand, her eyes closed against the reality of separation.  
  
"It's okay pet" he reassured her gently, his free hand stroking her face, "we did it pet, you can let go now"  
  
"No" she protested weakly her eyes opening to meet his, there it was again, that connection, that same welcome, that same offer made again through his eyes. Tears filled her own eyes as she realised it had always been this way, that he had always been there, giving himself to her, hers, always hers.  
  
"Buffy" Angel turned her around by the shoulder, breaking the connection, "Come on Buffy we have to go"  
  
....................  
  
Faith watched with grim satisfaction as the Slayers moved among the agonised demons methodically destroying every one of them. "Sir" Lady Jane's cultured voice broke through her thoughts. "Mr Howard and his team have just left with the seriously injured. Ms Roberts and the others are collecting the rest of the wounded"  
  
"Good" Faith took a deep breath and tried to steady herself, even so her voice came out choked "and the dead?"  
  
Lady Jane let out a shaky sigh, "Vi and some of Rona's girls are helping Mr Ward collect the bodies. We'll take them home"  
  
Faith nodded unsure of her voice, before squeezing her eyes shut and whispering, "how many?"  
  
"We're not sure" Lady Jane's voice had taken on the aloof business like tone that Faith recognised instantly as a defence mechanism, "Best guess would be between two hundred and two hundred and fifty. I'm terribly sorry sir"  
  
Faith nodded again, and turned away indicating that the conversation was over, two hundred and fifty, of the nine hundred and eighty four girls that had come to Brakers Field two hundred and fifty where going back in body bags. She looked down at the broken amulet, lying in the dust beneath her feet and let the tears come, twin tracks of watery regret flowing unhindered down her cheeks. Two hundred and fifty girls.  
  
...................  
  
"You spoiled my party" a shrill feminine voice accused from off too their left as Buffy and the others made their way out of Marcus' lair.  
  
"Beatrice" Spike whispered in Buffy's ear.  
  
"Beatrice" Buffy greeted jovially, stepping forward, she really wanted to kill something.  
  
"Ahh" the seer screeched covering her eyes melodramatically, "You, you burn my eyes"  
  
"Oh yeah" Buffy shifted her weight onto one hip as she pulled a stake from the pocket of Spike duster. "I also dust your ass, ain't that a coincidence?"  
  
With that she launched herself at the vampire falling effortlessly into the rhythm of the dance, she was so hyped she could of fought another ten vampires, a single loony wasn't the challenge she wanted, still it could still be fun.  
  
Angel moved to help her when Beatrice landed a heavy blow on the vampire slayer's jaw sending her stumbling back against the wall. Spike's arm shot out across his path, pressing against the taller man's chest. "She don't need no help mate," Spike told him, "just enjoy the show"  
  
Angel narrowed his eyes at the younger vampire but stepped back and focused on the slayer. Spike was right about one thing, it was a hell of a show.  
  
Spike couldn't help but smile as he watched her fight, his duster billowing and twirling around her as she fought, lending a balletic quality to her movements, not that she wasn't always poetry in motion in his opinion. She ducked a sloppy swing from the vampire twirled in and came up behind, her fist slamming down in a hammer blow on the back of the vampires neck another flurry of kicks and punches, one quick thrust of her stake and the vampire was dust.  
  
He couldn't resist it, he brought his hands together in a slow clap that made her turn to him with an amused smirk, "Nice work, luv" he complimented in a lazy drawl.  
  
She rolled her eyes as she walked over to him and clipped him lightly on the back of the head. Angel watched the easy playful affection of the act and frowned, did Buffy even know how intimate they where together, was she really aware of how obvious it was to everyone else. Probably not, affection for a soulless killer was not something Buffy Summers was likely to advertise.  
  
.........................  
  
A/N Oh Wow I have new people reviewing big friendly hello to:  
  
Twilights Kiss, thanks so much I'm glad you enjoyed it, good to know my poor attempts at punctuation don't grate too badly.  
  
Theoneandonlygurl – Wow right back at yer, here's that next chapter you asked for :)  
  
Brunettepet – All Spike's are sexy you know that, glad you enjoyed the action it was fun to write but you never know how it'll be received.  
  
Huge hugs and sloppy kisses for the old guard:  
  
Cheers LadyLuck, So you liked my battle hey, and Buffy and Spike always have time for banter, or at least they do in my world. By the way what is sop? I racked my brains for ages but couldn't come up with anything, is it like being soppy?  
  
Hello again Stacy nice to have you back, won't keep you waiting long I promise. 


	30. A moment in the aftermath

  
  
A/N as always I must apologies for my spelling and grammar, this story was written before my wonderful proof reader April came into my life.  
  
.....................  
  
"Hey" Buffy sat down next to a dejected Faith, "how you doing?"  
  
"I lost two hundred and twenty seven girls," Faith told her, her voice even, expression blank.  
  
"I know, I'm sorry" Buffy touched the other girls knee gently, "You did your best Faith, we all did"  
  
"I know" Faith rolled her shoulders, "Always casualties in war, right B?"  
  
"Doesn't help does it?" Buffy asked catching the darker girls eyes sympathetically.  
  
"Really doesn't" She sighed rubbing at her face, "These girls are family. Only family I ever really had"  
  
"I know, and they know too. They would've followed you anywhere Faith. They still would. They know you'll always do your best by them, and that's the most any of us can do"   
  
Faith gave a watery smile, "yeah" she paused for a moment before standing up, "I'm gonna do the rounds, check on the wounded"  
  
Buffy nodded and watched the Slayer leave, if anyone was proof a person could change, it was Faith. She let a smile quirk her lips, well no actually it was Spike, but really not the time to split hairs.  
  
She frowned, that reminded her she needed to give Spike back his coat.  
  
......................  
  
"Buffster" Xander greeted as she walked into the canteen, "you gonna join us for a victory donut?"  
  
Buffy gave the rather sorry looking collection of treats a sceptical look, "maybe later. I was trying to find Spike, you guys seen him"  
  
"Yeah just a minute ago" Dawn answered, "he popped in, he was acting well weird, even for Spike."  
  
Alarm bells rang noisily in the slayers head, "Weird how?" she pressed  
  
"Just weird. Gave me a hug and said he'd see me soon. Well duh! Buffy where are you going?"  
  
...................  
  
Buffy thought she had run fast when Xander had told her to chase after Riley, now she realised she'd barely been jogging. If she had felt even a fraction of the urgency than that she felt now she would've arrived long before the helicopter took off. Rounding a corner of the car park she saw him, hot-wiring a motorbike over by the far fence.  
  
"Spike" she yelled desperately sprinting towards him, "Spike"  
  
He straightened up his back to her, "Buffy" he said her name like he always did, with such feeling and weight that it almost undid her.  
  
"What are you doing?" she asked gesturing wildly at the bike, "where are you going?"  
  
He sighed and faced her, why did she have to make this even harder, coming chasing after him wearing his coat and looking so adorably lost. "I told you Buffy, I have to go. There are" he paused "things. I need to do"  
  
"What things?" she asked knowing deep down what he was planning but needing confirmation, "Where?"  
  
He sighed again and stepped towards her "Buffy" he whispered, his fingers coming up to run gently down the side of her face, love pouring into the gesture like a waterfall, "I gotta go, I've heard of a place where I can fix my little problem"  
  
"What problem? There's no problem," she denied hotly, her own hands grasping at his biceps.  
  
"Buffy" his voice held a note of gentle chiding, "You know I can't stay here like this, can't be around you or the little bit like this."  
  
She shook her head opening her mouth to speak, but he placed a gentle finger on her lip's "I reckon you know what I got planned, saw what I had written back in the motel didn't ya? You know I have to, Buffy it's the only way"  
  
"No Spike" she protested weakly, he would do it for her. He'd get his soul back, turn his whole life upside down change his very nature, he'd do it for her, because he loved her.   
  
He silenced her with a gentle kiss, his lips brushing tenderly over hers. "I gotta go lamb. Take care of the nibblet for me"   
  
She nodded mutely her watery eyes boring into his, shaking her head as if to clear it she stepped back and stripped off his coat and handed it to him. "You might need this," she told him with a wan smile.   
  
"Spike" she tried one last half hearted protest while he pulled on the coat, "you don't have to do this, you don't know what it'll do to you, you don't remember..." she trailed off as she looked at him standing there in his duster, looking so very much like the dangerous Spike she had once demanded he be despite his soul.  
  
"Yeah I do" he told her chucking her gently under the chin, "I remember everything. All came rushing back during red's spell."  
  
"Then why?" she questioned, tears flowing down her face, how could he be doing this, knowing how much a soul would hurt him, how weak it would make him, how God damn hard it would be to live with all the things he'd done.  
  
"Because in the end" he told her gently running his hands down her arms to clasp her hands in his. "In the end it was worth it"  
  
He released her hands and sung his leg over the bike in a swirl of black leather. She watched silently while he touched two exposed wires together and the engine roared into life.   
  
What did he mean 'worth it?' in the end it was worth it? Realisation almost knocked the breath from her, it had been worth it; 'I love you', 'No you don't but...'  
  
Oh God he was really doing it, doing it because if he had a soul then she could love him, really love him, the way he loved her. He was doing it because without a soul he was beneath her, an evil, disgusting thing, just like she had never tired of telling him.  
  
Her head shot up, she could make him out racing along the sweeping curve of the road to her left. He was doing it so she could love him. She ran right, leaping over the high fence in a single bound and racing down across the open ground towards the tree line. She pushed through the trees ignoring the sting of twigs and branches lashing at her face, she could see the road through the trees where it swung back round on itself, hear the roar of the motorbike growing louder to her left. She sped up as she reached the embankment hurtling down the steep slope at break neck speed towards the road, a collision course with the speeding bike. As her feet hit the tarmac she jumped, barrelling into the bikes rider, knocking them both clean away from the machine, as it went sliding riderless down the road.  
  
Spike had been trying very hard not to turn back, eyes fixed on the road ahead concentrating hard on the feel of the wind rushing by, on the roar of the engine, anything but the tearful blonde he had left standing alone in the car park of slayer central. The impact had taken him by surprise, sending him rolling across the tarmac a small strong bundle of slayer rolling with him, their arms and legs entangled as they went, finally coming to rest on his back in the verge, with a winded Buffy Summers draped across his bruised body.  
  
He groaned in response to the pain in his back and shoulder as he brought his arms up around her slight figure. "You okay pet?" he asked her softly  
  
She pulled air painfully into her lungs letting it out in a slow deliberate breath, "yeah" she whispered.  
  
"You gonna tell me what the bloody hell you think you're doing?" he asked, his gentle voice belying the harshness of his words, "Coulda got yourself killed"  
  
"I had to tell you something," she admitted not willing to meet his eyes, "before you go, there's something you need to know"  
  
He sighed rolling her off him so they could sit side by side on the damp verge, "I think I know everything I need to" he told her impatience creeping into his voice, "I gotta do this"  
  
"Ok" she whispered.  
  
"Ok?" he asked incredulously, "You knock me off my bike at eighty miles an hour for 'Ok'?"  
  
She couldn't help but giggle at his affronted tone, before she grew serious. "If you gotta do this, then ok, go. I won't try to stop you. But you have to be doing it for you" she paused looking deeply into his eyes, "not for me"  
  
He frowned leaning back slightly to get a better look at her face, of course it was for her, everything he did was for her, what the bloody hell else would he want a soul for.   
  
"That's what I needed to tell you, don't get a soul for me, don't get a soul because you think it'll make me love you" She watched pain fill his eyes and desperately wanted to touch him, chase the hurt away with gentle kisses, but she held back, he had to figure this out himself.  
  
"Right" he turned away, couldn't bear to look at her, knowing that despite what he thought he'd seen since his return he'd been right that day, 'No you don't, but thanks...'  
  
He took a deep shaky breath, "Right then, I'll just..." he began to stand, he had to get way from her, couldn't bear being this close to her knowing how very far away he really was. Her hand stopped him. Gripping his arm with bruising force and yanking him back down.  
  
"What I mean" she told him, grabbing his chin to pull his face around to look at her, she was gonna have to spell it out after all, "Is you don't need a soul for me to love you" funny how until the moment she actually said the words out loud she hadn't really believed them herself. There had been too much fear, prejudice too deeply ingrained in her mind, the instincts of her calling to strong in her consciousness for her to really believe it. But telling him now she knew it was true, knew that she did love him despite the barriers between them despite there opposing nature, she loved him, just as he was.  
  
He met her eyes them, his own questioning and unsure, disbelief etched in the lines of his frown. "Buffy you can't mean..." he trailed off looking so unbearable sad that a tear rolled down her cheek in sympathy, her admission wasn't supposed to make him sad.   
  
"Listen" he wiped the tears away with his thumb and held her face in his hands, "I know you felt something, when I came back, relief or gratitude or whatever, but you don't have to pretend... I couldn't ask you to..." he broke off and looked away, squeezing his eyes shut against the onset of his own tears.  
  
He didn't believe her, couldn't blame him really she hadn't exactly made it easy for either of them, she bit her lip, what the hell could she say that would make him believe her, she wished suddenly that their roles were reversed, he'd know what to say, he always did. An idea struck her, a few alteration and it'd work, and he'd know she remembered everything he'd said that night he'd know how much it had meant to her.  
  
She placed a gentle hand on his cheek guiding his face back so she could meet his eyes "Hey, look at me. You're not asking me for anything" She took a deep breath if this didn't convince him nothing would  
  
"When I say, 'I love you,' it's not because I'm grateful or I'm thinking of the souled version. It has nothing to do with me." She paused watching recognition flicker in his dark blue eyes.  
  
"I love what you are, what you do, how you try." She was crying freely now holding his watery eyes with hers "I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are."  
  
She watched the awed expression on his handsome face, the nervous expectancy, as if his whole world hinged on what she would say next, and realised she hadn't covered all her bases. She buried her head in her hands and let out a bark of nervous laughter. Looking back at his confused frown she gave him a self depreciating smile, "I didn't think this far ahead" she admitted self consciously, "I don't suppose I can call you a 'hell of a woman'?"   
  
He laughed then, rich joyful music to her ears, her hand came automatically to rest on his thigh, comfortable and intimate, "You are the one though" she told him seriously, "the one for me"  
  
..................  
  
A/N not long to go now, just one more chappy and and epilogue  
  
Thanks for the reviews.  
  
TheOneAndOnlyGirl – If you like Angel pain, hold on tight for the next chappy. Thanks for being so positive, makes me happy  
  
To Stacy (who won't be reading) patience is a virtue (ooh cryptic)  
  
Cheers Aubrey, I like your reviewing style, very concise  
  
RavensHaelo – Your back, welcome back (gives big hug) this is what happens next, sorry it took a little while.  
  
Celebuial – You sound like my proof reader April "The Grammar Nazi" who unfortunately only came on the scene after this story, she's proofing my second story which I think is just making me even more lazy with correct grammar, but makes the final story more readable. I've read dancing lessons and hope this isn't the same. Isn't that set in season 5? Anyway we're nearly at the end so you'll be able to tell me soon enough if I'm a big unintentional rip of merchant. Thanks for your review hopefully if you read my second story (which I'll be posting soon) you'll see a grammatical improvement.   
  
Blatant Plug: Thanks to all who read my one shot "The best of friends" if you didn't you should it's really good, and short, wont take too much of your busy day. Plus it's been proof read so grammar will be ok. 


	31. A love reclaimed

"Giles. Have you seen Buffy?" Angel asked as he entered the watcher's makeshift office.  
  
"Er no, I'm afraid I haven't" Giles looked up from the pile of paperwork in front of him. Such a painful task, but someone had to make the arrangements. Make the arrangements, a horrible euphemism for sending the bodies home. He sighed so many brave girls lost, and yet he couldn't help but be relieved that it was his children that remained standing.  
  
"I did see Willow and Xander heading to the canteen with Dawn" he told the souled vampire, "perhaps Buffy joined them there"  
  
"Thanks Giles" and with that he was gone, looking for Buffy as always. Giles wondered absently if Angel would ever stop worrying about the girl, woman, he corrected himself.  
  
He shook his head he had work to do. He trailed his pencil down the list, Claire Wilson, seventeen years old, family in New York, he picked up the phone to make the call.  
  
..........  
  
"So, er, what about your boyfriend?" he asked as they wandered side by side back towards slayer central the disdain in his voice a thin veil over his apprehension.  
  
She grinned, that was her Spike, so very jealous, so endearingly insecure "Broke it off before we left" she told him waggling the bare fingers of her left hand right in his face.  
  
He batted her hand away and smirked, "before or after you where planning to jump my hot little body?" so paradoxically egotistical  
  
She narrowed her eyes, "Before" she told him haughtily.  
  
Spike picked up on the playfulness beneath her tone, "Oh yeah, and you wouldn't have let me take you in the grave yard the night before, fiancé be damned." He paused shaking his head and tutting "Strumpet"  
  
"Strumpet" she repeated incredulously, "what am I some buxom eighteenth century serving wench?"  
  
"Na" he swung and arm around her shoulder, "You haven't got the figure for it"  
  
Outraged she dug her elbow hard into his ribs making him laugh and splutter. She smiled broadly and snuggled back under his arm, could it always have been this easy, this good, if she'd just have let it. Probably not, you have to pay the price, go through the pain and all that rot. God she was even thinking in Spike speak, this could be a very bad relationship for her vocabulary.  
  
They walked in silence the last hundred feet to the canteen entrance, shifting to walk hand in hand, Spike marvelled at the feel of her strong little hand in his as they approached the door, never in a million years would he have believe he'd have her like this.  
  
She hesitated, nervous tension gripping her body, making her shoulders tense, he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and smiled at her. She nodded and stepped deliberately through the open door. Willow, Xander and Dawn where sitting together in the centre of the room, Xander excitedly recounting the heroics of the battle at the temple to a bewitched Dawn and smiling Willow.  
  
He felt her pause, felt the fear rolling off her in waves and almost took pity on her, almost released her hand from his grip, but she needed to do this, they both needed her to do this. With a deep breath an a quick roll of her shoulders she gripped his hand tighter and led them over to the table, "Hi guys" she greeted, nervousness making her sound shrill.  
  
"Hey" Willow and Dawn greeted simultaneously, "Xander was telling me all about the fight" Dawn told her seemingly oblivious to the couples joined hands.  
  
"Yeah, if you wanna hear all about it you need to pull up a chair and grab some sugary goodness" Xander waved his hand at the battered donuts on the centre of the table. Buffy frowned, why hadn't they noticed yet, this was just dragging it out, putting off the inevitable tirade of warnings and recriminations.  
  
"They got a bit damaged in transit" Willow told them conspiratorially "I think someone sat on them" she gestured with her head towards a guilty looking Xander.  
  
"They're still good" Xander defended, "Come on you two sit yourselves down, I'm just getting to the good bit"  
  
Right, Buffy decided, time to make them notice, she was done with subtle. She guided a perplexed looking Spike to a free chair and plonked herself down on his lap, one arm around his neck.  
  
"So" Xander continued once they where seated, "Buffy grabs the knife and cuts her hands" he made a pair of slashing motions across his own palms. "Then she..."  
  
"Guys" Buffy interrupted impatiently, "I'm sitting on Spikes knee we came in holding hands." She gestured at herself, "Notice anything different about me?"  
  
"Oh yeah" Dawn smiled, "I'm glad you guys finally made up"  
  
"Yeah congrats Spike" Xander gave the vampire a wry grin that spoke of male solidarity, "guess you wore her down eventually  
  
"So she leaps into the circle," he continued his story to a wide-eyed Dawn.  
  
"Is that it?" Buffy interrupted incredulously, "No 'what's wrong with you Buffy?' 'Have you lost your mind?' No 'What have you done to her Spike?' Not even a little 'Buffy, do you really think this is a good idea?'"  
  
"Buffy" Willow stifled a giggle at the Slayers outburst, "we're all cool with this. We know how you two feel about each other"  
  
"Plus" Xander continued with a magnanimous shrug, "Spike saved my life which puts him right at the top of my, 'Demons who can date Buffy' list"  
  
"We want you to be happy Buffy" Dawn told her, "its all we've ever wanted"  
  
Buffy brought a hand to her mouth as happy tears began to flow freely down her face, "Oh, you don't know what that means to me. I love you all so much" she stood up and the four friends joined together in and awkward four way hug.  
  
"Can you lot pack that in" Spikes annoyed voice broke them apart after several long moments spent holding each other in silence, "it's enough to make a fella nauseous"  
  
.......................  
  
"I'm thinking about going back to work" Buffy announced taking a bite of the jammy donut that she and Spike had spent a long time bickering good naturedly over until she had resorted to pouting and he had reach over to grab an iced one instead muttering about 'Bloody women' and their 'dirty tactics'  
  
"I didn't know you'd quit" Dawn asked in confusion, a frown marring her pretty face.  
  
"Oh no" she clarified looking between the groups matching questioning looks, "back to work" she mimed staking Spike and laughed at his affronted look.  
  
He vamped out and growled playfully, bringing his jaws snapping shut millimetres from her exposed throat. She squealed and tried to squirm out of his vice like grip, moments before she fell heavily on her backside as he was pulled violently out from under her.  
  
It took her a moment to realise what was going on, looking up from her position on the floor she saw Angel slam a surprised Spike hard against the neighbouring table.  
  
"Bloody hell Angelus" Spike sat up in the splintered remains of the table, "What the hell did you do that for?"  
  
"I warned you Spike" the dark vampire spat contempt dripping from the words, "I told you I wouldn't let you hurt her"  
  
Spike narrowed his eyes shaking his head in an effort to understand what the souled vampire was talking about. He rolled his eyes with realisation, "You though I was biting her?" he asked, "Here? In front of her friends? While eating donuts?" he raised and eyebrow in disbelief as if he was having a hard time comprehending just how stupid Angel was.  
  
"Angel" Buffy's annoyed voice sounded from behind him as Spike climbed to his feet, "We were just playing. It was a joke"  
  
"You joke about eating people now?" Angel questioned incredulously thrusting his hands into his pockets. Buffy caught Spike's eyes to see him smirking at the same recollection, from her party years ago, 'we do not joke about eating people in this house'  
  
"Only sometimes" she said with a giggle as she crossed over to stand beside Spike her hand running possessively up his arm.  
  
Angel noticed the gesture and realised that she had been sitting willingly on his knee a moment ago, not held prisoner in a death grip. "Buffy, you're not" he gesture between her and Spike, "You can't seriously be considering..." he trailed off as if there were no words sufficiently repugnant to describe such a relationship.  
  
Buffy straightened, of course it had been too easy, she wasn't going to get off scot-free after all. She braced herself to begin her defence as she felt Spike's hand come to rest in the small of her back, offering silent support, she was immediately glad she had her boyfriend with her. Boyfriend, she smiled at the thought, that's what he was and she didn't have to justify herself to anyone, least of all Angel.  
  
"No I'm not considering a relationship with Spike" she told Angel firmly, ignoring the feeling of loss as Spike stiffened and removed his hand. "I'm all done considering" She reached for her boyfriends hand, clasping it tightly in her own.  
  
"Spike and I are together. It's not up for discussion" she fixed Angel with a challenging look. "Now I'm tired," she told him, "and I'm going to bed"  
  
She dragged Spike with her as she went, leading him out of the canteen towards the accommodation area, what was her room number again? Their grand exit would loose some of its punch if she had to scurry back in and ask someone.  
  
The moment the double doors swung shut behind them she found herself pressed against the corridor wall, Spike's mouth attacking hers with possessive desire. She grasped at his shoulders, pulling herself closer to his body as they kissed, her mouth opening in welcome.  
  
She broke away breathless, "Room 340" she gasped, surprising what you could recall given the right motivation.  
  
Spike swept her up into his arms, making her squeak in delighted surprise as he dashed for the elevator. Once inside he set her down and she kissed him again, her hands running greedily over his back as he pressed her against the wall. Oh God it was so good, so right to be back in his arms, she hadn't even realised how much she'd missed this, how paltry and insipid everything else had been in comparison. She dug he fingers into his short spikes, tilting his head demanding he deepen the kiss.  
  
"Excuse me" the girls nervous voice pulled them reluctantly from their lust filled haze, "is this your floor?" the young slayer asked from the other side of the lifts open door.  
  
Buffy giggled, "Yep this is us, um, sorry about that" she took Spike's hand and ran past the girl, pulling him with her towards her room.  
  
They tumbled together through the door, kissing and laughing as they went. Once inside he picked her up and tossed her onto the small double bed delighting in her happy squeal as she hit the mattress bouncing and laughing, he shed his duster in one smooth movement and advanced on her slowly.  
  
The playful laughter died on her lips as she watched him stalk towards the bed with predatory intensity, oh god did he know how hot that was? Actually knowing Spike yeah he probably did. She swallowed hard as he crawled up the bed on his knees and knuckles, his muscles clearly visible, playing under the thin cotton of his tee-shirt.  
  
He stopped when he reached her chest, dipping his head to inhale the scent of her skin, exposed by her v-necked top. "Buffy" he whispered his voice low and hoarse with desire.  
  
She gripped his hair pulling him up so she could kiss him, her hands wandering down to free his tee-shirt from the waist band of his jeans, greedily slipping underneath to caress the cool skin of his back.  
  
He tore his lips away from hers, trailing open mouthed kisses down the column of her throat while his free hand stroked slow long lines from the curve of her hip to the underside of her breast and back down, dislodging her top as it went.  
  
He pulled away, resting on his elbow, one hand drawing light patterns on the soft skin of her tummy, "Hello" he whispered, a soft smile playing around his mouth.  
  
She smiled back with a lazy blink of her big green eyes, "Hello" she purred, squirming like a contented kitten against the cheap bed cover. His eyes became serious, she felt the tension in his body, the residual uncertainty as he opened his mouth to speak. "I love you" she beat him to it, a hurried declaration designed to make his own easier.  
  
His huge smile told her he'd never tire of hearing that from her, "say it again" he confirmed her thought, his blue eyes shining with awed wonder.  
  
She trailed her hands over his chest and back down to hang loosely around his waist, "I love you" softer this time, slower, telling him with the timbre of her voice the gentle colour of her eyes that she did, that she really, finally did.  
  
"Love you too," he murmured leaning down to kiss her slow and languid on her soft swollen lips. He could have stayed like this forever, just kissing her, holding her, knowing that she loved him, could have ignored the animal call of her body to his and simply lain with her feeling her warm hands brush gently over his back.  
  
"Ummmmm" she moaned as his hand travelled over her breast, "Spike" the need in her voice spurring them both on. Their kisses became more urgent, hands moving erratically, grasping at clothes and skin as they went. His shirt went first, ripped clean in half by the desperate slayer, exposing smooth pale skin to her amorous exploration.  
  
He pulled her shirt over her head, sparing the fabric and deftly undid her bra. One handed, Buffy thought absently, I wonder how he learned that, Dru strikes me as more of a corset kinda girl. Silly irrelevant thoughts fled as he lavished kisses on her chest teasing her sensitive flesh until she arched up against him. She moved on autopilot lifting her legs so he could remove her jeans, leaving her naked and writhing beneath him.  
  
He moved down, trailing kisses over her belly, she was sorely tempted by the direction of his attention, she knew, after all, exactly what he could do. "No" she whispered tugging on his shoulders wanting to bring him back up to her, that particular game could wait, they had all night, this first time was about connecting about being truly close to each other and she wanted him close, so very close.  
  
The smooth skin of her belly was warm under his lips, smelling of sweat and jasmine, he moved southward wanting to make this good for her, make it everything she could possibly want. Her strong hands gripped his shoulders pulling him away, "No" a whispered plea. 'No please Spike stop'  
  
Suddenly her heat was cleansing fire, burning his skin like holy water. With a startled cry he scrambled back, tumbling of the bed and backing into the small desk, eyes wide, breath coming in harsh unnecessary gasps. "Oh God, I... Buffy, I'm sorry, oh God. I didn't"  
  
"Spike" she immediately recognised her mistake, never say 'No' during sex with the man who tried to rape you she thought wryly. Funny how this was so much harder for him than it had ever been for her.  
  
"Baby" she crawled to the bottom of the bed opening her arms in invitation, "It's okay, come here. I just wanted to kiss you"  
  
He regarded her with wide suspicious eyes, looking unconvinced and wary. "Come here" she commanded more firmly, "I promise it's ok" time for the big gun, "trust me"  
  
He relaxed visibly, of course he trusted her, he always had. "Buffy" one last residual reservation as he moved back to her arms.  
  
She shushed him gently pulling him down to lie with her, "it's okay baby," she murmured into his hair as she cradled him against her chest, "its okay"  
  
They lay like that for a long time, lost in their own thoughts, concern and regret keeping each of them silent. "Kiss me" Buffy broke first her own desperate longing making her selfish, she knew she should wait, give him time to come to terms with everything, but she just wanted him so damn much. Wanted to soothe him with her kisses, reassure him with her body. He complied of course, he was her willing slave after all, nothing had happened in the long years since he had pledged himself to her to change that.  
  
She wanted to hold back, let him take his time, let him lead. But it was taking too long and the twin aches of her heart and body demanded she be with him; connect with him body and soul. She deepened the kiss rolling them over so he lay between her legs, revelling in the weight of his body, the feel of his skin against hers.  
  
She felt his reluctance, his fear and stroked comforting circles on his back, one hand playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. Dirty tactics really, she knew how much he liked that.  
  
"Buffy" he moaned her name with needy intensity, his own hands beginning to map the soft curves of her body. She could feel the passion building again, so easily reignited in both of them, their hands becoming greedy and demanding their kisses frantic. "Buffy, Buffy, Buffy..." he murmured her name into her skin as he lavished her throat with wet kisses.  
  
"Spike" she rejoined her hands travelling to his belt. She could feel his desire in the involuntary movement of his hips, in his raspy suppliant moans, and yet still he held back, tensing as she undid the heavy buckle.  
  
"Buffy are you sure?" he whispered desire and uncertainty making his voice sound strange in the suddenly silent room.  
  
She smiled holding his eyes, trying to convey with her relaxed expression and the gentle pressure of her hands tugging on his waistband that she really, really, was, "I'm sure" she told him sweetly as she popped the buttons of his fly "I'm the surestest"  
  
Whatever she had done it seemed to have been enough to convince him, his mouth slammed down on hers urgent and demanding as she struggled to help him kick of his jeans.  
  
He paused to look into her face as she angled her hips upward, inviting him in, holding her eyes as he entered her, watching her expression. She resisted the urge to throw her head back and moan, it felt so good, so damn good, to have him inside her again. Her body longed to push up hard against him, her hands itched to claw at his back, she stayed still eyes locked on his, lips slightly parted.  
  
"I love you," she told him softly as he hovered motionless above her, buried deep in her welcoming body "I love you".  
  
Her declaration snapped him from the trance like wonder of being with her again and he began to move, an easy steady rhythm that she matched instinctively, punctuated with deep kisses and murmured words of love and devotion.  
  
She peppered his neck and jaw with soft breathless kisses, "I love you," she whispered against his skin, strange how now she'd said it once she just couldn't stop telling him. Not that he'd ever complain about that.  
  
"Buffy" he kept moving as he pulled away to look into her watery eyes, "I love you, my sweet precious Buffy."  
  
She picked up the pace titling her pelvis and urging him on with her own thrusts. "Buffy, Oh God Slayer, Love you. Love you so much"  
  
"Spike" she groaned, pulling his lips to hers in a deep needy kiss as they began to move together more quickly smooth deep strokes that made her moan into his mouth in time with each thrust of his hips. God it was perfect, just perfect, there would be time later for the hard violent sex they both enjoyed, time for games and teasing, she knew that later she would let him tease her until she was clawing at him like a wild cat. Later they could spend hours reacquainting themselves with each others bodies, but right now this was perfect, moving steadily together towards release, their tongues tangling ceaselessly, his hands buried in her hair, hers gripping his shoulders as she came.  
  
She wanted to tare her mouth away from his and scream out her pleasure, but she just couldn't stop kissing him couldn't break the tender connection of their mouths. He kept kissing her long after he had moaned into her mouth and his movements had slowed until they where motionless except for the gentle caresses of their lips and his left hand running slowly through her hair.  
  
Eventually he pulled away, resting his forehead against hers, "Buffy" he mouthed silently. She smiled sleepily at him, as sense of deep contentment settling on her, "hey" she greeted her hand coming up to stroke his face. He leant into the touch, his free hand stroking her hip. God it was good to have him back.  
  
"Hey yourself" he replied eyes twinkling, as his hand move sensually along the dip of her waist to brush lightly under her breast.  
  
She felt the air thicken around them, charging with his changing attitude as his thumb brushed lightly across her nipple making her gasp slightly. He looked at her mischievously drawing his hand down to brush over her ass pulling her out of quiet post coital relaxation and coaxing her again toward mindless desire, oh yes, it was good to have him back.  
  
........................... 


	32. Epilogue

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A/N So this is the end. It's been great fun to write and I've really enjoyed all your comments and encouragement. Thank you all for reading, I hope my story made each of you smile at least once. Love to all

..........................

Buffy's mobile phone rang as she faced the group of robed demons, it's cheery electronic ditty incongruous in the eerie quiet of the graveyard.

She held up a hand, stopping the demon that was advancing slowly on her, "Hang on" she muttered retrieving the phone and glancing at the screen which proudly informed her that 'Dawn Mob' was calling.

She threw the phone behind her without looking, "get that would you babe?" she asked, "tell Dawn I'll just be a minute"

"No problem pet" he answered flicking open the phone, eyes trained on the small slayer as she rushed the nearest demon.

"Hey Nibblet" he greeted, his tone friendly and unconcerned, "How's my best girl?"

"Hey" Buffy's offended shout sounded over the clanging of swords.

"Sorry bit, second best girl" Spike amended with a smile. "So how did your exam go?"

He nodded listening to the girls excited answer, "Knew you could do it pet" he told her proudly.

"She's just slaying a few Reych demons" he watched Buffy lean back, swinging her sword in an arc behind her head that sliced the throats of the two idiots who thought they could sneak up behind her.

"Nah, you may as well hold on she'll only be a minute"

He frowned at something the younger Summers girl said. "Do I know this Martin?" he asked, saying the name as if it tasted bad.

"I don't remember, oh your birthday party, great long streak o' piss with no sense of style?"

He shook his head, "yeah well, you just make sure he knows what'll happen to him if he hurts my girl"

He smirked at her exasperated huff, "Slayer's free now, I'll pass you over"

"Hey Dawnie. Exam okay?" she smiled at Spike while Dawn gave her a blow-by-blow account of her victory over the evil exam.

She moseyed over to her lover who was leaning back on a tomb stone lighting a Marlboro, "Uh huh?" she prompted as Dawn launch into an excited exposition of the extreme yummyness of Martin.

Spike lifted his arm and she slotted herself in alongside him, "We're good" she told Dawn looking at his profile as he exhaled smoke through his nose. "Giles has us in San Antonio helping Erica and Beth kill off the Followers of Rohana"

She paused, "yeah the field works great. Lots of action, no ties, lots of alone time in motels" she smirked at Spike who clearly caught Dawn's disgusted 'ewww'

"Ooh" Buffy continued excitedly, "we get to see lots of Xander" she eyed Spike mischievously, "it's great he and Spike are like best friends, always going out drinking and shooting pool"

"Hey" Spike cut in, clearly taking offence.

She ignored him and continued, "We're nearly done here so we'll be home in a couple of days."

She waited, nodding occasionally, "okay, see you then, love you. Oh and say hi to Wills, bye"

Spike raised an eyebrow at her after she'd popped the phone back in her pocket. "Couple of days?" he asked a knowing smirk playing on his lips as he discarded his cigarette, "I thought that was the last of 'em"

She smiled coyly, running her hand up his chest, "It is," she purred.

"So we're staying for?" he questioned his suggestive tone telling her he knew exactly what she had in mind.

"Alone time in motels of course" she answered innocently, "race ya back"

With that she was gone sprinting through the graveyard with a giddy laugh. He watched her go for a moment and smiled, still couldn't quite believe she was his, before taking off after her, guided by the sound of her breathless laughter.

End.

A/N Special thanks to RavensHaelo, LadyLuck, Stacy, Aubrey, brunettepet who reviewed virtually every chapter. Cheers guys, your encouragement meant so much to me. Thank you all, extra fatty chocolate cake with ice cream and custard for you lot.

Also thanks to Elle, michelle, peta, demon1211huntress and the oneandonlygirl for leaving very encouraging reviews.

Thanks to seahawk, blade redwind, roz, Yvonne, kathypg, FoxyNymph and Courtney, Samson, kargrif and Celebiual for taking the time to review.

I really enjoyed writing this story and I'm glad people enjoyed reading it too.

Take care of yourselves

Hugs and slugs

TheBear

3


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